NEURODIVERGENT MANSIONS
in my mind are many caverns
pieces of me, hidden within...
well, damn near most of em.
I find memories every day
i never knew... I had
yet that's me, smiling at me
from every damn one of em.
#ActuallyAutistic #ND #Neurodivergent @autistics
I have been deconstructing heteronormativity and neuronormativity for several years by now and it still baffles me how many of my problems with relationships and mental health issues were caused by not understanding my queerness and neurodivergence. Both are strongly intertwined.
The body dysphoria because I tried to fit gender norms.
Feelings of anxiety and guilt around relationships, because I am polyamorous and forced myself into monogamy.
Not understanding why I have been attracted to people, because I didn’t know that I am pansexual.
Not finding my people and being the crisis friend because I didn’t know that I am AuDHD.
The feeling of being weird and too much because I didn’t know what a hyperfocus is.
Ending up in abusive relationships, because I wasn’t educated about kinks and consent culture.
The missed opportunities, because of all that.
The more I unmask my neurodivergence and queerness in relationships and communicate my needs openly the better they become. Problems can be solved easily by communication instead of becoming a drama. It makes me truly love and accept myself and others.
While writing this text I had to think about a line in the song “Too good for giving up”:
“Reclaim your shame and dress it up in love.”
Happy Pride month 
🏳️⚧️ 🏳️🌈
"Some people use #Daywalker as a metaphor for feeling out of place. Just like most Daywalkers are half human and half #vampire, some people refer to themselves as Daywalkers to show that they feel like they’re not quite one thing or another.
(...) Some #neurodiverse people might refer to themselves as “Daywalkers” because they feel like they don’t feel like they quite fit a diagnosis, but aren’t quite the same as neurotypical people, either."
"Autism isn't a lifestyle, it's a severe psychological disorder."
No. Autism is a neurodivergence and a disability and it is a lifestyle.
My everyday life, how I cut and style my hair (or don't), the clothes I wear (or don't), the food I eat (or don't), the social life and relationships I have (or don't), how I spent my holidays (or don't), the books I read, the music I listen and dance to, the interests I have, how I communicate, my worldview, my financial situation, my sleep (or lack of), all this is part of being autistic for me.
Several things can be true at once.
Deficit or difference?
There are a few things about autism that it takes quite a lot of ingenuity to consistently frame them as negative.
I've listed some of them here...
A thread 🧵
⬇️
#Autism #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ActuallyAutistic
1/13
You are not “needy”. It’s much more likely that you are seeking deep connections with people and offer them an availability, that became rare nowadays.
Don’t fall for the ableist narratives of late stage capitalism.
♾️Ten reasons why I like being autistic♾️
Maybe surprisingly to some, being autistic isn't all bad.
Here are some things that may get missed when autism is defined *only* through our difficulties & struggles.
#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #AuDHD
A thread 🧵
1/11
A message for my fellow neurodivergents:
The latest update for my current special interest project, the Techne System for Foundational Skills, has just been put online. The topic is Psychology (Intermediate level). I bring this to your attention not just for its own sake, but because it includes an introduction to Neurodiversity, autism, ADHD and other neurotypes.
Now I'm sure many if not most of you already know all the stuff in this mere introductory overview, but I would very happy to hear your feedback on it. Is it accurate? Is it easily understood? Is there anything I should add, or leave out? The point of the program is that there is only so good one person can make it, so it's intended to improve through community feedback. For context this is aimed at a general audience.
And for everyone else that isn't as familiar with the material, I'd like your feedback too, and hopefully you'll learn something useful.
And this is only one subject out of 5 in the Psychology topic, not counting the Bare Essentials material. Or the other 22 topics in the program, in case you want to poke around. It's all free with no sign ups, subscriptions, or even tracking or cookies.
Here's a link directly to the Neurodiversity page:
https://techne-system.neocities.org/program/level-2/topic-2/l2t2-iib-psy
There are many navigation tools for getting around the rest of the site.
#ActuallyAutistic @autistics #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #ADHD #AuDHD
Oldest had a stall at a book fair at the Victorian Pride Centre in nearby St Kilda, so stayed at our place overnight & I went down with them & helped set it up.
I hadn’t been there before -lovely venue. And smaller event than the one in Jeff’s Shed, but they had more sales.
For months I've been publishing essays on late-diagnosed autism. You already see the titles here. I've opened a newsletter for those who also want to follow the theoretical research (preprints on Zenodo, open access) and the second book in progress.
Subscribers receive My AuDHD Organization System immediately, as a free PDF.
https://www.christiangajewski.com/newsletter
#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #Autism #MentalHealth #ADHD #Neurodivergent #Psychology #Philosophy #AuDHD #productivity
I think with my new personal assistant I will use another strategy than I did with the ones in the past. Instead of explaining that I have a different neurology and all that, because none of them has a neurodiversity affirming perspective on autism I will go for
"Yeah, I am like an alien, a creature from another universe. Expect the unexpected. I am crazy in the right way and we will have a lot of fun together. Let's go."
Something like that.
Really enjoying listening to this as audiobook. Historical and Marxist look at how capitalism and industrialisation started demanding normalcy, segregating disabled people and neurodivergent people from the "norm".
#neurodivergent #neurodiversity
#Autistic #Marxist
@autistics @actuallyadhd
I wonder if Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a lot more prevalent in my life than I realized.
I hate (I don't use this word lightly) being questioned on my choices. It feels intensely emotionally painful, even if the questioner is being curious or trying to understand instead of accusing or blaming.
I have a graveyard of unfinished projects, business ideas, etc. I wonder if, and what part, RSD plays in my difficulties finishing and launching a thing publicly.
I definitely stress over details, worrying about how a thing I do will be perceived, how it could be judged, etc.
Does that resonate with anyone else? What's your experience with RSD?
#ActuallyAutistic #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSD #AuDHD #Neurodivergent
If you are looking for awesome new neurodivergent content by a deep-thinking yet highly approachable doctor living our realities, check out Neurodivergent Insights. I also highly recommend their newsletter, as they cover extremely relevant content to our lives.
https://www.youtube.com/@NeurodivergentInsightsTV
@autistics #YouTube #Neurodivergent #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAuDHD
I created a d&b playlist that feels a bit dreamy, relaxing and leads to an intense, joyful dancing part. Then I had a look at the song titles - Sickly, Fear, Times Up, Bitter End, Isolation and similar vibes. Now I feel like a member of the Addams family.
"Sometimes I wonder just how many autistic people go undiagnosed due to how horrible society portrays autism to be."
Credit to
@Autistic_Lia on ex-Twitter
Hi! I have a question for everyone who experiences sensory hypersensitivity, whether as a result of being neurodivergent or due to various conditions or illnesses that can cause this kind of sensitivity.
What are your experiences with underwear? What bothers you the most, and what features do you find desirable or necessary for comfort?
I’m primarily interested in bras, but not exclusively. I’d love to hear about anything you wear directly against your body that falls under the broad category of underwear/lingerie.
I’d like to identify common themes shared by many people, while also understanding the full range and diversity of your experiences.
I’m planning to write an article about this for a lingerie industry magazine, with the aim of making lingerie manufacturers and retailers more aware of the needs of people with sensory hypersensitivity.
Boosts appreciated!
#hypersensitivity #autism #adhd #sensory #neurodivergent #neurospicy
As I've been mulling over RSD for the last day and a half, memories have been resurfacing that I'm seeing in a different light.
The realization that RSD plays a much bigger role in my life than I thought is very similar to when I realized I'm neurodivergent. Puzzle pieces are finally fitting into place. Things in my life are making more sense.
One particular memory from grade 5 came to the surface. My teacher designed her classroom with very clear rules and consequences, but also privileges and rewards.
She had two lists on the board. One was kind of a "warning" list - students who had broken a rule. The second was called "No Privileges." This was a list for students who broke several rules. It wasn't a permanent list - I think you'd be on it for a couple of days or a week or something like that.
Anyway... I don't remember much about the lead-up, but I do remember forgetting my homework at home and being put on the No Privileges list. And I also remember this triggered an absolute meltdown.
The No Privileges list was for the "really bad kids," (in my mind, at the time) and now I was on that list.
My meltdown was so bad, my teacher agreed to call my parents to confirm I had actually done the homework, I had just forgotten it at home.
Another memory surfaced: I remember in grade 1, during free time, playing with toys and flapping my hands, as I usually did while excited. My teacher chuckled, smiled, and asked me what I was doing. This was grade 1 - I was 6? 7? - and I still distinctly remember the intense shame and embarrassment.
I'm seeing both of these experiences much differently now with the lens of RSD... this has really been a major shift in my understanding of myself. As major as discovering my neurodivergence in the first place.
What a wild journey this has been.
#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #AuDHD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RejectionSensitivity
I've been thinking about trying to organize - or at least gauge interest in - a neurodivergent meetup in my area.
There's one in Victoria, but that's 2.5 hours away.
Anyone mid-island on Vancouver Island (Comox, Nanaimo, anywhere in between) in my fediverse?
A thing I absolutely despise: when people think they can make decisions for me, without my consent or knowledge. Seething, thermonuclear level hatred I have for this behavior.
#Autistic #AutismAwareness #Neurodivergent #ActuallyAutistic
One of the most neurotypical sentences I come across pretty often, when the communication develops beyond small talk is “You don’t have to explain yourself.” and as an AuDHD person, I very much dislike it.
At first it seems as if neurotypical people say it in good faith, some even do, often followed by something like “People who really like you, don’t care about you being autistic, queer or other differences.” or “It must be exhausting, that you have to explain yourself all the time.”
I very much disagree.
Psychology has been my special interest for decades, finding out that I am queer, that I am autistic has been extremely important to me. It changed my life. I find the way my brain and the ones of other neurodivergent people work very interesting, how our bodyminds work, what needs we have because of that. All this is not only my special interest, it’s an essential part of every neurodivergent relationship for me, understanding these aspects about one another is a necessary step to be able to accommodate each other’s needs.
As an AuDHD person, talking about my special interests is something I really like to do, it’s the opposite of exhausting for me and people would understand that, if they actually listened to me and asked questions, instead of telling me their neurotypical superficial, feel-good phrases. The latter is the exhausting part.
Sharing detailed information about these aspects of our personality would contribute to a mutual understanding. But to me it seems, that neurotypical communication is not about understanding, it’s about judgement. So, telling me, that I don’t have to explain myself, means “I won’t judge you, therefore you don’t have to explain yourself.”
To me that is such a telling part of the double empathy problem. It’s also one of the reasons, why we most autistic people don’t like the “Autism acceptance month”. Accepting differences should be the bare minimum for every kind of human interaction. I want mutual understanding.
What does “respect” mean to you?
What does it look like in action?
In order to proscrastinate and avoid one boring task, I've moved the lawn, cut some of a hedge, had a shower, hung up laundry outside, made granola. And it's not even 10am.
#Neurodivergent procrastination is real 🤣
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