rejectionsensitivedysphoria

Quick question for my fellow autists out there:

I was diagnosed quite late this february at age 39 and has since learned a ton about my condition.

I've become aware of the term "rejection sensitivity disphoria" og RSD. Something I can relate to, quite a bit.

I do have a lot of people in my inner circle. People I trust and care about. Something my rational mind tells me is true the other way around.

However, my RSD, keeps sending me into a downward spiral of "nobody actually cares about me"-idiocy.

My question is: How can I communicate this to my friends, without it sounding like me begging for reassurance and without them thinking they are required to check in on me?

#ActuallyAutistic #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria

@autistics

I wonder if Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a lot more prevalent in my life than I realized.

I hate (I don't use this word lightly) being questioned on my choices. It feels intensely emotionally painful, even if the questioner is being curious or trying to understand instead of accusing or blaming.

I have a graveyard of unfinished projects, business ideas, etc. I wonder if, and what part, RSD plays in my difficulties finishing and launching a thing publicly.

I definitely stress over details, worrying about how a thing I do will be perceived, how it could be judged, etc.

Does that resonate with anyone else? What's your experience with RSD?

#ActuallyAutistic #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSD #AuDHD #Neurodivergent

@autistics

Sooooo after having RSD simmer in the back of my mind all day and the thread unravel... yep. It me.

Anybody got any recos for RSD resources? Books, videos, etc?

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria

@autistics

As I've been mulling over RSD for the last day and a half, memories have been resurfacing that I'm seeing in a different light.

The realization that RSD plays a much bigger role in my life than I thought is very similar to when I realized I'm neurodivergent. Puzzle pieces are finally fitting into place. Things in my life are making more sense.

One particular memory from grade 5 came to the surface. My teacher designed her classroom with very clear rules and consequences, but also privileges and rewards.

She had two lists on the board. One was kind of a "warning" list - students who had broken a rule. The second was called "No Privileges." This was a list for students who broke several rules. It wasn't a permanent list - I think you'd be on it for a couple of days or a week or something like that.

Anyway... I don't remember much about the lead-up, but I do remember forgetting my homework at home and being put on the No Privileges list. And I also remember this triggered an absolute meltdown.

The No Privileges list was for the "really bad kids," (in my mind, at the time) and now I was on that list.

My meltdown was so bad, my teacher agreed to call my parents to confirm I had actually done the homework, I had just forgotten it at home.

Another memory surfaced: I remember in grade 1, during free time, playing with toys and flapping my hands, as I usually did while excited. My teacher chuckled, smiled, and asked me what I was doing. This was grade 1 - I was 6? 7? - and I still distinctly remember the intense shame and embarrassment.

I'm seeing both of these experiences much differently now with the lens of RSD... this has really been a major shift in my understanding of myself. As major as discovering my neurodivergence in the first place.

What a wild journey this has been.

#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #AuDHD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RejectionSensitivity