@autistics #ActuallyAutistic my pattern recognition is spiking after a series of "check-in” meetings are all being rescheduled…
…they were supposed to be 3 weeks from now and suddenly 3 of them are now this Friday, one right after the other…
…does not help the meetings involve me and two of the other more senior admins in the unit…
…but i shouldn't “anticipate” and instead just let the impending bullshit be a surprise like an allistic
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1033 , Wednesday 26/08/2026
Gym day so up early & in the gym around 07:15.
Today’s session was quite painful for a couple of reasons.
I cut my toenails last week but for some reason missed a bit on the 4th toe on my right foot. This decided today was the day it was going to hold me to task by rubbing very painfully against my middle toe. I tried to adjust my socks / trainers but to no avail! Later inspection at home would reveal that I basically rasped the skin off the middle toe!
The other problem was that I did not get away completely free by having 2 weeks away from the gym, with my calf muscles complaining vigorously about the abuse. Hey ho, hopefully a few more sessions will get me limber again.
A quiet day followed, motivation being in short supply.
Final Thoughts.
Well lesson learned on the toe nail front, I will have to make sure that there are no sharp edges in future - not a problem I’ve encountered before but still.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
I've been up
I've been down
take my word
my way 'rou-hou-ound
I been masking too mu-uch
I said, Lord take me home now
I'm just melting down to mush
.
I've been bad
I've been good
heard their music
ate their foo-oo-ood
I been masking too mu-uch
I said, Lord take me home now
I'm just melting down to mush
.
Take me back
Way back home
just by myself
all alo-o-one . . .
.
you get it 🙄
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#ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD @autistics
I think I figured out my marketing problem. I lose my words. When I go to do marketing stuff I lose my words/my mind goes blank/its like static on the fritz. (yay AuDHD!), and I'm sure it's probably driven by trauma/basically being told that my own stuff is probably wrong and not good, but am wondering if any other #ActuallyAutistic folks run into this when promoting their work.
gawd I wish I could turn it off 😬
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#ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD @autistics
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@autistics #ActuallyAutistic a little goes along way...
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1034 , Thursday 27/08/2026
Up at just after 07:15.
Quiet for the most part, it being a very dark & rainy day, such conditions always leave me searching for motivation.
We had a dental appointment late this afternoon … which was booked in March!
I came thru with flying colours, the dentist was very pleased with me! 😊
We booked our next appointment as we were leaving - for next March!
Final Thoughts.
Gym again tomorrow, I hope my toes behave!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
What did Bender say, I’m so embarrassed I just wish everybody else was dead 😬
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#IWatchTooMuchTV
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when an aspie prick hatches late, that is a long fall and retroactive all the way back 💔
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#ND #AuDHD #ActuallyAutistic @autistics
RE: https://mastodon.social/@filmfreak75/117163553059581338
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic there appears to be additional fuckery afoot now…
…i stupidly respond to a request commenting a next logical step…
...only to receive something that:
…sounds like a cagey bullshit non answer to me.
—Terry Womack, House of Cards
September is going to be an atrocious month for me. I'm going to try to raise $403 to get through it.
I still need to get my fucking laptop data, and return the borrowed one, $43 for my credit card bill AND my stovetop broke.
Idk how to do it.
Please help:
etrans: tasiathereader@gmail.com
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ourinsatiabesouls
#BlackMutualAid #MutualAidRequest
#BlackMastodon #queermutualaid
#HelpFolksLive2026 #Queercrowdfund
#disability #disabilityaid #actuallyautistic #DisabilityCrowdFund #MutualAid
You know those moments, in a really good story, when you hit an inflection point and everything changes? I almost wish that I could live within those moments. I think of B5, BSG, and Attack on Titan. If you know any of those stories, you know the moments I'm thinking about.
I think it's an autistic thing. Some part of my mind attaches to one of these moments and then I find myself listening on some piece of music from the show on infinite repeat when I'm deliberately trying to lock in and hyperfocus on something.
I "learned" this habit decades before I was diagnosed. The diagnosis created so many "aha" moments afterward—for instance, recognizing this behavior as decidedly autistic.
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1035 , Friday 28/08/2026
Friday started at crack of sparrow’s fart & I was down the gym before the rest of the avian world was fully awake!
Despite the fact that it rained cats, dogs & small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri last night there was little sign of it this morning in the Vally, although the leisure centre where my gym is based was flooded yesterday. Kudos to the staff there that there was little sign of it this morning!
A much better gym session today although my calf muscles are still rather stiff.
Did a few small jobs today, the bigger tasks seem to slip thru my grasp so easily these days!
Pizza for tea with a side order of Babylon 5.
Final Thoughts.
After the rain the sun came out which made the day so much better - I swear I’m solar powered!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
RE: https://mastodon.social/@filmfreak75/117089988076652812
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic had a follow-up call on this consult and the focus this time was on “How do I ask the questions I need to without risking retaliation?”…
…in the past couple of years this has come up so often it’s now a special interest...
…what bothers me most is that no matter how many times i advise people on this issue, it’s always the same negative result in the end
I don’t want to single the person out, and I’m not, believe me, every normal person and most of the weirdos say what I’m about to argue with. I’m borrowing their text, though, it’s perfect, just what nearly everyone thinks.
.
“I think violence is a part of human nature and could never go away. Even if you found a way to stop all physical violence, the human aggression that causes it would still exist.”
.
I have a hard time accepting this, but I don’t think the majority sees anything wrong with that statement. Honestly, I think it’s built in, evolved into the majority.
.
But from over here in Divergent World, what I see is an excuse never to change anything, never to stop whatever is causing the aggression. “It would still exist,” so it is beyond causality, beyond science or thought? Purely a spiritual matter?
.
I’m still a toddler among the adults of Allistic science, having to ask, “Why?,” every ten seconds because, “because of Human Nature,” isn’t a real First Cause, you’re just sloughing your child off - OK, Dad, I’ll keep
it going: why, “Human Nature?” And anyway, when someone isn’t aggressive for thirty seconds, isn’t that, “Human Nature,” too?
.
You have the same answer for opposite questions?
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But back to the point, the majority is so certain that aggression is natural and proper, causeless and inevitable that they will not experiment, will not learn anything further about it.
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#ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD #Philosophy #NTPsychology @autistics
I need $43 to pay my credit card bill. Anything helps!
etrans: tasiathereader@gmail.com
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ourinsatiabesouls
#BlackMutualAid #MutualAidRequest
#BlackMastodon #queermutualaid
#HelpFolksLive2026 #Queercrowdfund
#disability #disabilityaid #actuallyautistic #DisabilityCrowdFund #MutualAid
@mutual_aid @mutual_aid@starflower.space @MutualAidVisibility @anarchomutual @blackfedi
My dear AuDHD / ADHD / autistic fellows, do you have any experience with "mindfulness"? You know, the stuff where whole books exist about being in the moment, breathing, etc.? I don't yet know much about it and before I deep-dive into it, I want to know from you!
Is it useful? Or is it just another thing that seems to be advice from neurotypicals for neurotypicals?
I just realised a stim I have. I very gently clack my front teeth together in time with car indicators when they're left on for more than 5 or so seconds.
#Autism #autistic #neurodiverse @autistics #AutisticBurnout #ActuallyAutistic
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1036 , Saturday 29/08/2026
Saturday started at around 07:30 & was a relaxed & peaceful day that ended with a Chinese takeaway & Denzel Washington in ‘Inside Man’.
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day at all. Following Mrs S’s ethos of ‘you can only do what you can do’ which I normally don’t subscribe to but sometimes one simply does not have the energy to push beyond ones limits.
Beige.party is down as I write this so that’s my excuse for posting it late!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
This Playlist is the outcome of an intense hyperfocus on music during the latest full moon summer nights. My feet still hurt from all the dancing.
The title Look Inside does not only refer to one of my favorite tracks on it, but also to the intense experiences I have as an AuDHD person when I am listening and dancing to electronic music, to drum and bass. It’s not only my special interest and brings me joy, it also helps me structuring my thoughts, process emotions and regulate my nervous system.
Especially the combination of the warmer, more playful and organic sounds of Jungle D&D and the darker, precisely structured Neurofunk/Techstep tracks suits the complex needs of my neurodivergence.
https://bandcamp.com/kacihue/playlist/look-inside
#ActuallyAutistic #neurodivergent #dnb
@autistics @actuallyadhd
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1037 , Sunday 30/08/2026
Up at 07:30, woken by the kids next door screaming & shouting.
After breakfast we went across to my late MiLs place to replace the bulbs I ordered during last week.
I took the tool boxes that have the tools for the charity back across, I’m storing them in the garage there while I get hold of the charity to come & collect them.
We stopped off at one of our favourite eateries for a roast chicken Sunday lunch - delicious!
Had a relaxed afternoon, episodes of ‘Foyle’s War’ & ‘Cadfael’ helping us along.
Beans on toast for tea, as neither of us were particularly hungry after the treat at lunchtime.
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day.
Public Holiday tomorrow so I think I might skip the gym & have a lie in.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Good afternoon. I'm trying to raise money for bills this month.
I'm currently $8 from my nearest bill and I have $300 left to raise.
etrans: tasiathereader@gmail.com
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ourinsatiabesouls
#BlackMutualAid #MutualAidRequest
#BlackMastodon #queermutualaid
#HelpFolksLive2026 #Queercrowdfund
#disability #disabilityaid #actuallyautistic #DisabilityCrowdFund #MutualAid
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1038 , Monday 31/08/2026
Monday, being a public holiday, started with a lie in until 07:30.
Breakfast & a few basic chores got the day underway & then I had a couple of hours on the PS5 as Mrs S was doing some admin stuff.
All was well until late morning when we had a power cut for an hour!
We relaxed with a couple of Mrs S’s TV shows this afternoon & then finshed the day with a fried chicken takeaway & ‘Charlie Wilson’s War’ with Tom Hanks who is definitely one of my fave actors!
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day at all, Northern Powergrid’s failure to provide power not withstanding!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
It still baffles me how many people believe, that understanding other people’s perspective is the one size fits all solution for inner peace. Usually that comes from a position of privilege, the level of understanding of “It happened to me that I took something personally, but then I understood the other persons perspective and realized that it was not about me and that made me feel better.” Ironically this believe is the result of a limited perspective, of the limited understanding of other people’s lived reality.
Like so many other autistic people, understanding other people, their motives, their behavior, understanding how this world works has always been a strong interest of mine. And it is helpful and necessary for emotional maturity and personal growth, communication and relationships, don’t get me wrong.
I do believe that humans are inherently good, like Rutger Bregmann elaborates in his book “Human Kind” and that it is a complex combination of individual and systemic factors that makes people do bad things. But that is exactly the point. Whose perspective is valid, heard and relevant in this society is a question of power, hierarchy and privilege and intent doesn’t magically erase harm. I wrote about this empathy gap when it comes to power dynamics a few years ago and a mutual, @Newstrujew nailed it with the sentence “At a certain level of power, empathy becomes completely optional.”
So as an autistic woman I am at a point where understanding others people’s perspective often doesn’t give me peace, because it usually reveals their ignorance. I want them to understand and validate mine.
#ActuallyAutistic #intersectionality #mentalhealth
@autistics
