@autistics #ActuallyAutistic my drive to help and fix things needs more of this to balance it out
actuallyautistic
![Avatar for [a]mayz[ing]’s gaze](/proxy/identity_icon/507740677641041258/95a39e9135.jpeg){kind=icon}
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1001 , Saturday 25/07/2026
Saturday started just after 7am & we had a relaxed breakfast before I did my chores.
Then off across the hills to treat my Dad to a meal at his favourite eatery for his birthday!
The journey across took forever as there were roadworks everywhere!
We had a Lovely lunch (I admit to succumbing to the temptation of the Brunch but will be having the chicken & beef sizzle that my sister had next time because it looked & smelt fabulous!
We had a lovely time & an uneventful trip back.
They make some magnificent cakes where we had lunch & being full after the main course said cake was boxed & brought home for a very naughty early supper which we enjoyed while watching ‘Predestination’ a moderately mind bending movie but a decent watch!
Final Thoughts.
A really good day - it rained on us all the way home but to be fair we really, really need some rain!
(For those who are curious it was a truly epic piece of fresh strawberry Victoria sponge cake!)
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic i think
this #RandomMovieTVQuotes from the other day sums this up for me…
I am done enduring. —Claudia, Interview with the Vampire (2022)
"Sometimes I wonder just how many autistic people go undiagnosed due to how horrible society portrays autism to be."
Credit to
@Autistic_Lia on ex-Twitter
Edited 13d ago
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic after all the gaslighting that's been going on with the board lately...
…i worry i may rage quit at any moment…
…but since i’m a professional, i just spent a bunch of time making these task templates of the most essential things i do…
…this does not include the multitude of little things i do, e.g. compliance, consults, etc….
...also, i don’t get paid for any of my board work in any way shape or form…
...and in fact get shit on more often than not for it
![A screenshot of Todoist, a task management application in dark mode, displaying a task template titled "TEMPLATE - Board Meeting - ## - Month Day Year" under the project path "# Board / Request".
The main portion of the image has a section reading:
Sub-tasks (0/5 completed):
SEND Call for agenda items [two weeks before board meeting]
REMINDER Call for agenda items [one week before board meeting]
LAST CALL for agenda items [two days before board meeting]
SEND Board meeting packet [one day before board meeting]
DRAFT board meeting minutes [before next board meeting]
Underneath the sub-tasks is text reading:
+ Add sub-task" button followed by a bottom comment box with a user avatar and attachment paperclip icon.
On the right side of the image is a sidebar that reads (from top to bottom):
Project: Board / Request
Assignee: Sean C.
Date & Deadline: Unset (marked with "+")
Priority: P4 (white flag icon)
Labels: SCT (purple tag)
Reminders: Unset (marked with "+")
Location: Unset (marked with "+")](/proxy/post_attachment/1164318/d308cc71f4.png "A screenshot of Todoist, a task management application in dark mode, displaying a task template titled \"TEMPLATE - Board Meeting - ## - Month Day Year\" under the project path \"# Board / Request\".
The main portion of the image has a section reading:
Sub-tasks (0/5 completed):
SEND Call for agenda items [two weeks before board meeting]
REMINDER Call for agenda items [one week before board meeting]
LAST CALL for agenda items [two days before board meeting]
SEND Board meeting packet [one day before board meeting]
DRAFT board meeting minutes [before next board meeting]
Underneath the sub-tasks is text reading:
+ Add sub-task\" button followed by a bottom comment box with a user avatar and attachment paperclip icon.
On the right side of the image is a sidebar that reads (from top to bottom):
Project: Board / Request
Assignee: Sean C.
Date & Deadline: Unset (marked with \"+\")
Priority: P4 (white flag icon)
Labels: SCT (purple tag)
Reminders: Unset (marked with \"+\")
Location: Unset (marked with \"+\")")
![A screenshot of Todoist, a task management application in dark mode, displaying a task template titled "TEMPLATE - Election cycle" under the project path "# Board / Request".
The main portion of the image has a section reading:
Sub-tasks (0/8 completed):
Intent to return survey for current board members [December before following May]
Board applications open [January/February through March]
Prepare ballot proofs [early/middle March]
Candidate statements posted to website [late March/early April]
SEND ballot notice to Marketo [early April]
Elections open #/#/#### through #/#/#### [April]
Notify new board members [late April]
CERTIFY election results at May board meeting
Underneath the sub-tasks is text reading:
+ Add sub-task" button followed by a bottom comment box with a user avatar and attachment paperclip icon.
On the right side of the image is a sidebar that reads (from top to bottom):
Project: Board / Request
Assignee: Sean C.
Date & Deadline: Unset (marked with "+")
Priority: P4 (white flag icon)
Labels: SCT (purple tag)
Reminders: Unset (marked with "+")
Location: Unset (marked with "+")](/proxy/post_attachment/1164319/f8a651ef47.png "A screenshot of Todoist, a task management application in dark mode, displaying a task template titled \"TEMPLATE - Election cycle\" under the project path \"# Board / Request\".
The main portion of the image has a section reading:
Sub-tasks (0/8 completed):
Intent to return survey for current board members [December before following May]
Board applications open [January/February through March]
Prepare ballot proofs [early/middle March]
Candidate statements posted to website [late March/early April]
SEND ballot notice to Marketo [early April]
Elections open #/#/#### through #/#/#### [April]
Notify new board members [late April]
CERTIFY election results at May board meeting
Underneath the sub-tasks is text reading:
+ Add sub-task\" button followed by a bottom comment box with a user avatar and attachment paperclip icon.
On the right side of the image is a sidebar that reads (from top to bottom):
Project: Board / Request
Assignee: Sean C.
Date & Deadline: Unset (marked with \"+\")
Priority: P4 (white flag icon)
Labels: SCT (purple tag)
Reminders: Unset (marked with \"+\")
Location: Unset (marked with \"+\")")
![A screenshot of Todoist, a task management application in dark mode, displaying a task template titled "TEMPLATE - Newsletter processing" under the project path "# Board / Request".
The main portion of the image has a section reading:
Sub-tasks (0/7 completed):
SEND Call for newsletter items with call agenda items [two weeks before board meeting]
REMINDER Call for agenda items [one week before board meeting]
LAST CALL for agenda items [two days before board meeting]
REMINDER newsletter items are due end of day at board meeting
PREPARE newsletter proof for Marketo [day after board meeting]
REVIEW formatted newsletter proof from Marketo [Tuesday/Wednesday following submission]
SAVE published newsletter to Team newsletter archive channel
Underneath the sub-tasks is text reading:
+ Add sub-task" button followed by a bottom comment box with a user avatar and attachment paperclip icon.
On the right side of the image is a sidebar that reads (from top to bottom):
Project: Board / Request
Assignee: Sean C.
Date & Deadline: Unset (marked with "+")
Priority: P4 (white flag icon)
Labels: SCT (purple tag)
Reminders: Unset (marked with "+")
Location: Unset (marked with "+")](/proxy/post_attachment/1164320/66a504974f.png "A screenshot of Todoist, a task management application in dark mode, displaying a task template titled \"TEMPLATE - Newsletter processing\" under the project path \"# Board / Request\".
The main portion of the image has a section reading:
Sub-tasks (0/7 completed):
SEND Call for newsletter items with call agenda items [two weeks before board meeting]
REMINDER Call for agenda items [one week before board meeting]
LAST CALL for agenda items [two days before board meeting]
REMINDER newsletter items are due end of day at board meeting
PREPARE newsletter proof for Marketo [day after board meeting]
REVIEW formatted newsletter proof from Marketo [Tuesday/Wednesday following submission]
SAVE published newsletter to Team newsletter archive channel
Underneath the sub-tasks is text reading:
+ Add sub-task\" button followed by a bottom comment box with a user avatar and attachment paperclip icon.
On the right side of the image is a sidebar that reads (from top to bottom):
Project: Board / Request
Assignee: Sean C.
Date & Deadline: Unset (marked with \"+\")
Priority: P4 (white flag icon)
Labels: SCT (purple tag)
Reminders: Unset (marked with \"+\")
Location: Unset (marked with \"+\")")
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1002 , Sunday 26/07/2026
Sunday started after a bit of a lie in at around 07:30.
It’s been a quiet day after yesterday’s excitement with much lazing around after the chores were done.
Fried chicken takeaway for tea, although Mrs S insists on ordering it early - we generally eat around 6pm. Of a Sunday when I have had a late breakfast & lunch this means I’m nowhere near hungry enough to enjoy a takeaway properly. Still what does my opinion matter?
Final Thoughts.
We are going across to my late MiLs tomorrow, I need to clear out the garage, My late FiL was an engineer & a DIY enthusiast & he left me all his tools. I have not had the heart to sort thru them before but the clean & clear people will be there mid August so I have to suck it up & sort thru all his tools.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
When I was a child visiting friends, I would tour every room of their apartment before I could sit down and play. I had no idea I was doing it. I just couldn't settle until I had a complete map.
That pattern never went away.
There's a documented phenomenon called intolerance of uncertainty: the autistic nervous system's difficulty tolerating absent information. Any gap in the map feels like a potential trapdoor. The scan runs continuously — not because something is wrong, but because the system needs more explicit data to feel oriented.
The exhaustion isn't from interacting. It's from never switching off.
🧵
When you are an autistic spoonie and your lack o spoons leads to losing spoons, because you accidently drop a spoon full of wet dog food. What a mess.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic for that dismissive allistic in your life…
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1020 , Thursday 13/08/2026
Thursday started at around 07:30 thanks to our noisy neighbours.
It has been a quiet day, we went out for lunch (Caesar salad for me) & continued our Hobbit film fest.
Final Thoughts.
It has been stupidly hot today we topped out at 34ºC today, tomorrow will be a little cooler at 29º then settling into the mid to low 20s over the weekend.
The long term forecast is not promising, more hot weather & not much rain!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
RE: https://mastodon.social/@ApocalypseSoon/116993028318745089
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic the near majority of options my insurance offers are ABA certified people…
...and they reimburse my Ph.D. therapist, who did additional education and focuses on autism, at barely 20% after deductible
Uta Frith published an awful piece on #autism in the TES last month.
Sue Fletcher-Watson @SueReviews wrote an excellent response.
As an #actuallyautistic scholar who has worked with Sue I can only say I wish we had more like her.
Edited 137d ago
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic been with my employer for 7 years and seen many retirements of people i've worked with (both closely and semi-closely)...
…2.5 years ago a manager i'd worked with for of 3-4 years retired and i wasn’t invited to the reitrement lunch...
…now someone in my current unit for the past 2.5 years (who i’ve worked semi-closely with for 7) is retiring…
…and now i get a message saying i wasn't included on the invite “by accident” for next week's event…
…accident my ass
✊As I've been mulling over RSD for the last day and a half, memories have been resurfacing that I'm seeing in a different light.
The realization that RSD plays a much bigger role in my life than I thought is very similar to when I realized I'm neurodivergent. Puzzle pieces are finally fitting into place. Things in my life are making more sense.
One particular memory from grade 5 came to the surface. My teacher designed her classroom with very clear rules and consequences, but also privileges and rewards.
She had two lists on the board. One was kind of a "warning" list - students who had broken a rule. The second was called "No Privileges." This was a list for students who broke several rules. It wasn't a permanent list - I think you'd be on it for a couple of days or a week or something like that.
Anyway... I don't remember much about the lead-up, but I do remember forgetting my homework at home and being put on the No Privileges list. And I also remember this triggered an absolute meltdown.
The No Privileges list was for the "really bad kids," (in my mind, at the time) and now I was on that list.
My meltdown was so bad, my teacher agreed to call my parents to confirm I had actually done the homework, I had just forgotten it at home.
Another memory surfaced: I remember in grade 1, during free time, playing with toys and flapping my hands, as I usually did while excited. My teacher chuckled, smiled, and asked me what I was doing. This was grade 1 - I was 6? 7? - and I still distinctly remember the intense shame and embarrassment.
I'm seeing both of these experiences much differently now with the lens of RSD... this has really been a major shift in my understanding of myself. As major as discovering my neurodivergence in the first place.
What a wild journey this has been.
#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #AuDHD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RejectionSensitivity
I've been thinking about trying to organize - or at least gauge interest in - a neurodivergent meetup in my area.
There's one in Victoria, but that's 2.5 hours away.
Anyone mid-island on Vancouver Island (Comox, Nanaimo, anywhere in between) in my fediverse?
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1019 , Wednesday 12/08/2026
Wednesday started at around 07:30, it being our wedding anniversary I decided to have a day off the gym. Also the fact that we had to find someone to repair the garage door was also a factor.
Breakfast followed accompanied with gifts & cards. (Yes I remembered!)
Mrs S managed to find a repair company that would come out quickly so we got our skates on & drove across to my MiLs.
As luck would have it no parts were required & the job was finished in time for us to go to Chatsworth Farm shop cafe for lunch & to get goodies for the remainder of the week.
We went wild & for the first time in a long time had a main corse (steak & blue cheese ciabatta ) & coffee with a dessert (I had a decent sized slice of Bakewell cake).
We got back in time to start a Hobbit / LotR fest, the timing being immaculate as the movie finished in time to us to enjoy the 91% partial eclipse - although a badly placed tree stopped us watching it IRL although thanks to the Royal Observatory’s live coverage (their insistence on using YT & having to have full cookie access did not impress me though!)
It was a lovely evening & we munched on artisan quiche & drank Asti Martini as the moon skipped lightly across the face of the sun. The sky went suitably dark & the there were a few few moments of profound silence (disturbed only by screaming kids & a passing jet airliner - some folk have no sense of occasion!)
Final Thoughts.
It seems the reason that the clean clear crew only did the clear was because Mrs S did not specify the ‘clean’ bit, so now we have to track down another company to do that.
Yesterday morning I thought we were home & dry on the subject of my late MiLs property but, in the words of Douglas Adams, we are in fact barely thru the door & not even toweling ourselves off vigorously yet!
Still not a bad day for all that, it actually went a lot better than it might have!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Any #ActuallyAutistic tried box breathing?
NB it should be called square breathing 🤦♂️
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1003 , Monday 27/07/2026
Monday started early, it being a gym day.
Why are Mondays always a struggle! (Prolly all the naught food I have over the weekend & the fact that I still don’t have a set exercise regimen at home - but don’t tell anyone else that!).
After breakfast & a few chores Mrs S & I went across to my late MiL’s house - Mrs S to sort thru some bowls & crockery in the kitchen & me to tackle my late FiL’s garage. So many tools!
I have made a start, but it will take at least 2 more trips to finish the job I think!
We stopped off at Sainsgogs for a late lunch - their meal deal was just what we needed, quick but filling. Then home.
Relaxed this afternoon finishing the latest series of ‘For all Mankind’. I do like that show.
Salad & roast chicken breasts for tea with strawberries & ice cream for pud while we continued our journey thru the original series of ‘All Creatures Great & Small’ they really do not make TV like that any more (the new version is good but not as good as the original with Christopher Timothy! )
Final Thoughts.
A busy day & looking at the garage it does not look like I have made too much progress, but progress has been made!
Somehow I have to find some room for the tools I plan to keep! I also need to find a good home for those that I will never use!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic was doing a consult this morning with someone (board constituent re work issue) and towards the end offered advice along the lines of masking…
…and while it was the correct advice for the situation, i still felt gross saying it…
…i can no longer mask (after the burnout) and i personally don't believe anyone should have to…
…and yet this is the unbalanced world we live in…
🇨🇦You ever have one of those epiphanies that come from realizing something derived from bits of seemingly unrelated information in your head, but then suddenly realize that they are all pieces of a same puzzle? It's that weirdness that you had all the pieces and didn't even realized that they all fit together. I just had that.
It struck me listening to the song Angels of the Dark by Blutengel. I usually interpret it as a song about vampires even though nothing in it that explicitly says that. The song is about feeling lost, alone, afraid and in pain, and hence looking for a better life. The singer then offers you a "better life" by joining them in the dark; sounds a lot like a typical vampire seduction.
But describing this person's situation, about looking for a better life, I found myself nodding along. Then came the line "The only price you have to pay is leave this world behind". Normally that makes me think of "the world of the living" because again, vampires, but this time was different. Lately I've been reading more about autistic burnout, and one of the key takeaways is that recovering from it is not about getting back to the life you had, because that life is what led you to burnout in the first place. It's about adopting or creating a new life, one that is compatible with your neurology, your true self.
That's why this line struck me differently this time. The world I need to leave behind is the neurotypical life I was trying to live, trying to be something I am not. This is the reason for all (or at least most of) the pain, fear, and other problems I have. So looking at it this way, the song could be about neurodivergence, not necessarily vampires at all.
But wait, couldn't it be both? I'm not saying that NDs are vampires, but as I just happened to write in a post recently, many of us end up identifying with aliens, animals, or *other fictional creatures*. I included the last one because I know an autistic person who identified with fairies when they were young. But vampires are fictional creatures too, and I've been big on them since I was a kid. One of my favorite role playing games is about playing the part of a vampire.
So could not then it be that my attraction to vampires has been my neurodivergence expressing itself all along? Then I remembered how some time ago I made a list of comparisons between autistic people and vampires:
- vampires sleep in coffins: this would shut out light and noise and be a great retreat for autistic people (I myself use blackout curtains and a sleep mask with earphones to listen to things like thunder storms, sounds I like rather than ones I don't)
- vampires sleep during the day: again, less light, noise, and people makes night more sensory friendly for autistic people. Plus many of them I know happen to just be naturally nocturnal and sleep better during the day (myself included).
- repelled by garlic: many of us have all sorts of sensory sensitivities, including smell and taste
- drinking blood: analogy for having a restricted diet, even having to 'hunt around' for food you can stand
- supernatural senses: often we sense things others don't
Again, I'm not saying that autistic people are vampires, just that vampires make a pretty good analogy for being different even though superficially the same. I just hadn't put it together like this before (even though it's right in my own profile name 🤦 ). So in learning to deal with my burnout, I have to learn how to live this other life and not the one other people live. I must join the Angels of the Dark.
Here in the #Philippines, there is a growing "trend(?)" amongst families with #Autistic daughters: Creating a Facebook Page and sharing their autistic lives.
We all know for years that autism discussion and research is mainly dominatid by [white] autistic boys and men. Filipinos are changing this.