Eggplant.place

227d

I have to say I feel we're missing a few steps towards an explanation of how "for suppository use only" got in the mix of approprite warning lables 🤔😂

@libraries @Libraries@fedigroups.social @library @books @bookstodon @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#Library #LibraryMemes #Meme #Memes #Libraries #Librarians #Book #Books #BookMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour #Funny
#Litterature #Novel #Novels #Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove

Post by Jennifer Goodland

At today's staff meeting we discussed the need for warning labels for our books.
Like “not microwave safe”
“not dishwasher safe”
“for suppository use only”

The discussion was prompted by another library where a patron got their book wet, tried to dry it out in the microwave, and the metallic RFID tag destroyed both the microwave and the book.

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185d

I want more libraries, but I also want more birdhouses, it's a conundrum 😁

@libraries @Libraries@fedigroups.social @library @books @bookstodon @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#Library #LibraryMemes #Meme #Memes #Libraries #Librarians #Humor #Humour #Funny
#Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #BookLove

Comic from bizarro.com
Two birds stand infront of a little house with a plack saying "Free Library".
One bird says to the other, " Every time I come home from gathering twigs, it's filled with more of these thing."

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225d

So, what we should wish for is that every part of the writing process would be as quick as the idea 🤔

So, writers start looking for that magic lamp or whatever wish-giver you believe in...😁
Lets see what the disastrously hilarious consequences will be 😜

@galacticwriters @writers @books
@writingbooks @keepwriting @aiop

#Ideas
#WritingMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Author #Authors #IndieAuthor #IndieBooks #AmWriting #Writerdons #Writers #Writer #Writing #WritingCommunity #Writinglife

Post by Alexander Pennington

Writer: I wish I had a book idea
Brain: Here are some characters, worldbuilding, a magic system, a villain, everything you need for an amazing story!
Writer: How does it all go together?
Brain: What

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1y

Luckily Bert is right, you don't HAVE to read Dostoyevsky 😂 But you can if you want 😊

@bookstodon @bookbubble @humour @reading

#Song #Evita #Dostoyevsky
#Book #Books #BookMemes #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Novel #Novels #Bookshelf
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove #BoostingIsSharing

Picture of a blackboard sign with colourful chalk writing:
Bert's Books
Don't cry for me Dostoyevsky
The truth is I never read you
All through your chapters
Your epic fiction
You kept on writing
I kept my distance

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225d

#Meme #Humour

A meme featuring Peter Parker from Spider-Man. In the top panel, he puts on blurry glasses to see logos for Disney+, Netflix, Paramount+, and Prime Video. In the bottom panel, wearing a pirate hat, he sees the logos clearly, but they have all been rebranded with the word "Torrent."

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216d

Same, fridge. Same.

#humor #humour #fridge

an old refrigerator with the words "I used to be cool" written on it

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254d

If you're going to go to hell anyway, why not go laughing 😂

@reading @bookstodon @books @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#TheExorcist #Horror #Evil
#Book #Books #BookMemes #Memes #Humor #Humour
#ReadingMemes #Memes #ReadAllTheBooks #Reading #Readers #ReadersOfMastodon #ReadingCommunity
#Litterature #Novel #Novels #Bookshelf #Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove #FantasyBooks

Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it over to the beach and threw it into the ocean off a fishing pier.

| went and bought another copy, ran the faucet over it and left it in the night table drawer by her bed. My Father-in-law said that night was the first time she ever screamed and fainted.

I'm going to Hell, but I'll go laughing.

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268d

I want things that are above my reading level, that's how I get better at reading 🤔😁

@reading @bookstodon @books @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#ReadingMemes #Memes
#ReadAllTheBooks #Humor #Humour
#Reading #Readers #ReadersOfMastodon #ReadingCommunity
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels #Fiction
#Bookwyrm #Bookworm #Bookstodon #BookLove #FantasyBooks #ReadingLevel #Level

Comic from Unshelved about a boy asking librarian about what books he can check out and the librarian telling him he can check out any book. The teacher says it's above the child's reading level and they have a policy. The librarian replies he loves the sound of a breaking policy breaking.

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184d

And then when you do start writing them down, you end up with more ideas than you know what to do with... 😁

@galacticwriters @writers @books @bookstodon
@writingbooks @keepwriting @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#WritingMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Author #Authors #IndieAuthor #IndieBooks #AmWriting #Writerdons #Writers #Writer #Writing #WritingCommunity #Writinglife #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #Books

Three panel meme with pictures from Pirates of the Caribbean movie where Jack is looking for rum.

Writer: "Why is my idea gone?"
Brain: "Because you refused to write it down last night when you were comfy in bed."
Writer: "But... why is my idea goen???"

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1y

In case you're feeling mildly upset by the state of the world, here's a weird dog playing with a rubber chicken. [Sound on!]

#IknowItsADonkey #donkey #humor #humour #cute #dog #dogs #asstodon

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215d

I wish I would've realised sooner that I don't have to solve every fictional problem I came up with the same second I came up with them 😁

@galacticwriters @writers @books @fantasy @bookstodon @joinin
@writingbooks @keepwriting

#WritingMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Author #Authors #IndieAuthor #IndieBooks #AmWriting #Writerdons #Writers #Writer #Writing #WritingCommunity #Writinglife #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #Books

Two part meme.
Top part is a picture of a pill bottle that says, Hard to swallow pills.
Bottom part is captioned: If you can't come up with solutions to basic fiction writing problems that you yourself made then try again timorrow, keep learning. Writing is a skill that can be improved.

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213d

Seriously, lads, it has been uncool since BEFORE the middle ages.

#vintage #humor #humour

Medieval manuscript illustration depicting a woman driving a nail through a man's head and the caption: when you're having a bad day and a random dude tells you to 'smile'

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155d

We will tear your soul apart — but in the cutest possible way!

#HorrorMovies #humour

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143d

Am I the only one who started writing just to see if I could🤔😂

@galacticwriters @writers @books @fantasy
@writingbooks @keepwriting @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#Plot
#WritingMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Author #IndieAuthor #Indie #Writers #Writing #WritingCommunity #Writinglife #WritersOfMastodon

My main problem as a writer is that I don't write because “I have a story to tell”. I write because there are worlds I want to visit, ideas I want to explore, people I want to meet, conversations I want to hear, emotions that I want to express, and impossibilities I want to make real.

Which means that I still need a f*king plot.

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76d

If I had to take a stab at this I'd say I'm an 'Unemployed novelist/lawyer with social media manager and game author tendencies' otherwise known as an #IndieAuthor 🤔😂

@galacticwriters @writers @books @fantasy @bookstodon @joinin
@writingbooks @keepwriting @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#WritingMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Author #IndieAuthor #Indie #Writers #Writing #WritingCommunity #WritersOfMastodon

A diagram describing whether or not you are a novelist and what else you might be instead.

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142d

#Meme #Humour

A meme titled "If the Earth was flat" showing a disc-shaped Earth floating in space. An orange tabby cat is walking across the surface and using its paw to push a glass bottle off the edge.

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141d

Behold a house! 😂

I would've made a great ancient greek philosopher!

Making shit up that sounds plausible enough that you're not sure whether I made it up or not, that is what I do best!

And it's the best advice I can give to any aspiring writer 😜

@philosophy @stoicism @psychology
@humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#Thinking #Meme #Memes
#Philosophy #Humor #Humour #Funny
#WritingMemes #Meme #Memes #Writers #Writing #WritingCommunity #Writinglife #WritersOfMastodon

Post by pj evans

Cars have windows and can move. Houses have windows and can’t move. So It's not the windows that make the car go, It's something else entirely.

Reply by gelledegg
This is what ancient greek philosophy is like.
Reply by airyairyaucontraire
Diogenes driving a mobile home into the symposium to ruin Plato's
day.

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208d

Suck it linguists I'll make my own grammar rolls 😜😂

@linguistics @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop @writingcommunity @writingbooks

#LinguisticMemes #Meme #Memes #Linguistics
#Language #Words #Humor #Humour #Funny
#Reading #Readers #ReadersOfMastodon #ReadingCommunity
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels #Fiction #Bookstodon

Post by keva
Here's my first attempt at synonym rolls, with attached picture of cinnamon rolls.

Reply by BrazilFlair
Just like grammar used to make.

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1y

Halt, hooman! What's the password?

Uh, caturday?

We would also have accepted: pss, pss

#cat #cats #catsofmastodon #catstodon #humor #humour #caturday

Two orange cats standing on columns, guarding a wooden door

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208d

My Own Delightful Gordon,

Your letter has moved me deeply as you may imagine. But alas, I must ever decline to be Mrs Lowther…

—from Muriel Spark’s THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIE (1961): a love letter – as imagined by her pupils – from Miss Brodie to Mr Lowther, the music teacher

@bookstodon

#Scottish #literature #20thcentury #novel #novella #womenwriters #MurielSpark #love #loveletters #humour #ValentinesDay

My Own Delightful Gordon,

Your letter has moved me deeply as you may imagine. But alas, I must ever decline to be Mrs. Lowther. My reasons are twofold. I am dedicated to my girls as is Madame Pavlova, and there is another in my lite whose mutual love reaches out to me beyond the bounds of Time and Space. He is Teddy Lloyd! Intimacy has never taken place with him. He is married to another. One day in the art room we melted into each other's arms and knew the truth. But I was proud of giving myself to you when you came and took me in the bracken on Arthur's Seat while the storm raged about us. If 1 am in a certain condition I shall place the infant in the care of a worthy shepherd and his wife, and we can discuss it calmly as platonic acquaintances. I may permit misconduct to occur again from time to time as an outlet because I am in my Prime. We can also have many a breezy day in the fishing boat at sea. ...

Allow me, in conclusion, to congratulate you warmly upon your sexual intercourse, as well as your singing.

With fondest joy,
Jean Brodie

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208d

O, love, love, love!
Love is like a dizziness;
It winna let a poor body
Gang about his biziness!

—James Hogg (1770–1835), “Love is like a dizziness” 💝

#Scottish #literature #poetry #poem #ValentinesDay #Valentine #18thcentury #19thcentury #humour

Love is like a dizziness
James Hogg

I lately lived in quiet ease,
An’ ne’er wished to marry, O!
But when I saw my Peggy’s face,
I felt a sad quandary, O!
Though wild as ony Athol deer,
She has trepann’d me fairly, O!
Her cherry cheeks an’ een sae clear
Torment me late an’ early, O!

O, love, love, love!
Love is like a dizziness;
It winna let a poor body
Gang about his biziness!

To tell my feats this single week
Wad mak a daft-like diary, O!
I drave my cart out owre a dike,
My horses in a miry, O!
I wear my stockings white an’ blue,
My love’s sae fierce an’ fiery, O!
I drill the land that I should pleugh,
An’ pleugh the drills entirely, O!

Chorus

Ae morning, by the dawn o’ day,
I rase to theek the stable, O!
I cuist my coat, an’ plied away
As fast as I was able, O!
I wrought that morning out an’ out,
As I’d been redding fire, O!
When I had done an’ look’d about,
Gudefaith, it was the byre, O!

Chorus

ALT

Her wily glance I’ll ne’er forget,
The dear, the lovely blinkin’ o’t
Has pierced me through an’ through the heart,
An’ plagues me wi’ the prinkling o’t.
I tried to sing, I tried to pray,
I tried to drown’t wi’ drinkin’ o’t,
I tried wi’ sport to drive’t away,
But ne’er can sleep for thinkin’ o’t.

Chorus

Nae man can tell what pains I prove,
Or how severe my pliskie, O!
I swear I’m sairer drunk wi’ love
Than ever I was wi’ whisky, O!
For love has raked me fore an’ aft,
I scarce can lift a leggie, O!
I first grew dizzy, then gaed daft,
An’ soon I’ll dee for Peggy, O!

Chorus

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1y

Anarchy in the UK!

#bird #birds #birb #humor #humour #gull #seagull

gull sitting on a sign that says no gulls, with blue sky and white clouds in background

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1y

I need about a dozen of these.

#cat #cats #caturday #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

two yellow placards that say "cat vomit - caution" with a stylized cat throwing up

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1y

“Of aal the fish there iss in the sea,” said Para Handy, “nothing bates the herrin’; it’s a providence they’re plentiful and them so cheap!”

Neil Munro (1863–1930) – journalist, novelist, short-story writer, & poet – was born #OTD, 3 June. Rigby’s Encyclopaedia of Herring discusses Munro’s PARA HANDY stories, as well as giving the full text of the tale “The Herring – A Gossip”

1/4

https://www.herripedia.com/para-handy/

#Scottish #literature #humour #shortstory #herring #19thcentury #20thcentury