Eggplant.place

1y

"Master has given Dobby a dog bed!"

[a woman opening a package and a whippet dog getting increasingly excited as it sees it's a dog bed for it.]

#dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofMastodon #Dobby #DobbyLives #humor #humour

1y

I'm going to request having all books featruing humans banned, on the grounds that humans are boring 😜😂

@bookstodon @fantasybookstodon
@scifi @bookbubble @humour

#Human #Ban #ToBeFair
#Book #Books #BookMemes #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Novel #Novels #Bookshelf
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove #BoostingIsSharing

A cartoon of three dogs at a library desk looking expectant as the librarian speaks to them saying, "The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

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1y

Twa Cats anes on a Cheese did light,
To which baith had an equal Right,
But Disputes, sic as aft arise,
Fell out at sharing of the Prize…

—Allan Ramsay (1686–1758), “The twa Cats & the Cheese”
via the National Library of Scotland
😾😾🧀🐵

An 18th-century Scots poem for International Cat Day

https://digital.nls.uk/special-collections-of-printed-music/archive/105690319

#Scottish #literature #Scots #Scotslanguage #poem #18thcentury #law #legal #humor #humour #InternationalCatDay

The twa Cats and the Cheese
Fable IX
by Allan Ramsay

Twa Cats anes on a Cheese did light,
To which baith had an equal Right,
But Disputes, sic as aft arise,
Fell out at sharing of the Prize;
Fair Play said ane, Ye bite o’er thick
Thae Teeth of yours gang wonder quick:
Let’s part it, else lang or the Moon
Be chang’d, the Kebuck will be done.

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But wha’s to do’t,—They’re Parties baith,
And ane may do the other Skaith,
Sae with Consent away they trudge,
And laid the Cheese before a Judge,
A Monkey with a campsho Face,
Clerk to a Justice of the Peace,
A Judge he seem’d in Justice skill’d,
When he his Master’s Chair fill’d;
Now Umpire chosen for Division,
Baith sware to stand by his Decision.
Demure he looks.—The Cheese he pales,—
He prives it good,—Ca’s for the Scales,
His Knife whops throw’t,—In twa it fell,
He puts ilk Haff in either Shell;
Said he, We’ll truly weigh the Case,
And strickest Justice shall have Place,
Then lifting up the Scales, he fand
The tane bang up, the ither stand;
Syne out he took the heaviest Haff,
And ate a Knoost o’t quickly aff,
And try’d it syne,—It now prov’d light,
Friend Cats, said he, We’ll do ye right.
Then to the ither Haff he fell,
And laid till’t teughly Tooth and Nail,
Till weigh’d again it lightest prov’d:
The Judge wha this sweet Process lov’d,
Still weigh’d the Case, and still ate on,
Till Clients baith were weary grown,

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And tenting how the Matter went,
Cry’d, Come, come Sir, We’re baith content.
Ye Fools, quoth he, and Justice too
Maun be content as well as you.
Thus grumbled they, thus he went on,
Till baith the Haves were near hand done;
Poor Pousies now the Daffine saw
Of gawn for Nignyes to the Law:
And bill’d the Judge that he wad please
To give them the remaining Cheese:
To which his Worship grave reply’d,
The Dues of Court maun first be paid.
Now Justice pleas’d,—What’s to the Fore
Will but right scrimply clear your Score;
That’s our Decreet,—Gae Hame and Sleep,
And thank us ye’re win aff sae cheap.

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101d

The God Emperor wishes you a happy #Caturday

#cat #cats #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

sphinx cat sitting in a milky white bath with gerbera daisies floating in the water

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1y

Me too, little dude. Me too.

#coffee #monday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

kitten with really crazy wild hair looking tired, sitting in front of a cup of coffee

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266d

What's your favourite trilogy? 🤔

Every speculative fiction reader has that one trilogy they can't get over...

For me it's between The Seagulls and Lord of the Rings, Star Wars barely breaks the top 50 😜😂

@bookstodon @books @joinin
@humor @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#SpeculativeFiction #FantasyBooks
#FantasyMemes #SciFiMemes #Fantasy #SciFi #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour #Funny
#Low #High #Epic #Science #Opera #Hard #CottageCore #SolarPunk #Comedic
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels #Bookstodon

Meme from 50 Nerds of Grey

Friend 1: What is your favourite trilogy?
Friend 2: Star Wars
Friend 3: Lord of the Rings
Me:
Three pictures from The Argus newspaper headlines.
1: Student attacked by seagull
2: Seagull attacked by student
3: Angry seagulls strike back

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1y

Peewits quiffed like Elvis reel from rocks,
their sheen of feathers like blue suede
the breeze buffs in the midday air…

—Donald S. Murray, “An Incomplete History of Rock Music in the Hebrides”
published in The Edinburgh Book of Twentieth-Century Scottish Poetry (EUP, 2005)

#Scottish #literature #poem #poetry #Hebrides #RockMusic #humour

An Incomplete History of Rock Music in the Hebrides
Donald S. Murray

Peewits quiffed like Elvis reel from rocks,
their sheen of feathers like blue suede
the breeze buffs in the midday air.
“He loves ewe. Meah! Meah! Meah!”
bleat a Fat Four of blackface sheep
beneath mop-tops of unshorn hair.

Jagged stalks of thistles strut,
flashing menace in the evening light
before a group of timeworn stones.
Spangled with glitter, starlings soar
and oystercatchers sport red lips
while herons stalk on platform soles.

Each fulmar packs its pistol.
There’s anarchy on cliff-tops
as they reel and spit on rocks below.
Then a riff is played on marram grass,
shells syncopate on shorelines as
night downs its curtain on the show.

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259d

I don't know if this is true, but I want to believe that it is so that's what I'm going to do 😁

@libraries @Libraries@fedigroups.social @library @books @bookstodon

#Finland #Suomi
#Library #LibraryMemes #Meme #Memes #Libraries #Librarians #Humor #Humour #Funny
#Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #BookLove

Picture of an open book with the caption: "In Finland, there are more public libraries than fast food chains."

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1y

Hi-jinks are about to ensue.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofmastodon #humor #humour

a cat and a dog are leaning out a window, the cat's legs over a bannister -- the walls are distressed and old in a black and white photo

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1y

Stop and enjoy the #caturday!

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

an orange tabby cat curled up looking out of the red light of a set of stop lights

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1y

Don't even get me started on how hard it is to stare into the inaccessible void.

#void #existentialism #humor #humour #irony

hatch closed by a zillion rusty bolts labelled: accessible void

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1y

Across the street from The Ministry of Silly Walks.

#humor #humour #weird #signs #sillywalk

three kids in school uniforms walking funny on a crosswalk, imitating the crosswalk sign that is rotated 90 degrees, so it looks like the people are pointed down

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180d

The thing they don't tell you about so called "professional industry" people is they have no idea what they're doing either 😂

@galacticwriters @writers @books @fantasy @bookstodon @joinin
@writingbooks @keepwriting @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#WritingMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Author #IndieAuthor #Indie #Writers #Writing #WritingCommunity #WritersOfMastodon

Caption: The best screenwriting advice I have ever seen

Post by Mistamema on a picture from the new Star Wars movies:
If you ever have waning confidence in your screenwriting or storytellings abilities, just remember that a professionally paid, multimillionaire screenwriter wrote down the words "somehow palpatine returned" for the final installment of a major hollywood franchise, that has run for over 40 vears.

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1y

I hope everyone's keeping cool!

#deer #animals #sun #hot #humor #humour

deer lying on grass in the one patch of shade cast by an umbrella

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1y

All worship the Glorious Zarcat, ruler of Planet Mecuratron!

#Caturday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour #alien

tabby cat sitting on top of a door, with a light in front if his face that makes it look like it's a part of his head

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227d

Mendacity! There are no bad cats, especially on #caturday.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

cat bed that looks like a caution cone and says: caution bad cat!

with a tuxedo cat asleep inside, it's front legs sticking out

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274d

Enjoying this mallifuff Sunday.

#sundayfunday #humor #humour #lexicography

Mallifuff
a Scottish word that means being utterly devoid of any energy needed to get things done.

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1y

My boofer plant is doing well this summer!

#dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofmastodon #humor #humour #summer

bernese mountain dog buried up to its shoulders in a whole it has created in a garden -- there is dirt everywhere and it looks quite pleased with itself.

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1y

Forget Planet of the Apes, this is the dystopian future to be worried about.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #bear #bears #humor #humour

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1y

This is the kind of math we like around here 😜

@bookstodon @fantasybookstodon @bookbubble @humour @reading

#Math
#Book #Books #BookMemes #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Novel #Novels #Bookshelf
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove #BoostingIsSharing

Picture if a pink sign standing on a table covered in books saying,
BOOK MATH:
Buying the series means you really only bought one book.

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1y

I mean it does make a certain kind of sense, an evil facist wouldn't consider happy people civilized 🤔

The kind of people who don't let cause strife both for themselves and others in the name of ambition have no use to a Dark Lord 😁

@bookstodon @fantasybookstodon @speculativefictioncomedy @bookbubble @humour

#Happy #Hobbit #And #Civilisation
#FantasyMemes #Fantasy #Memes #Humor #Humour #Tolkien
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove

Post by Oliver Clegg

SAURON: I shall create three rings for the elves, seven for the dwarf lords and nine for mortal men
HOBBITS: wow ok none for us cool
SAURON: and thus I shall have dominion over all the civilised races of middle earth
HOBBITS: WOW

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1y

I mean it does make a certain kind of sense, an evil facist wouldn't consider happy people civilized 🤔

The kind of people who don't cause strife both for themselves and others in the name of ambition have no use to a Dark Lord 😁

@bookstodon @fantasybookstodon @speculativefictioncomedy @bookbubble @humour

#Happy #Hobbit #And #Civilisation
#FantasyMemes #Fantasy #Memes #Humor #Humour #Tolkien
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove

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258d

Watch out ... Facts about!

#WellActually #Facts #Humor #Humour

An action figure in its packaging such as the found hanging in toy stores. The figure is a man in a grey t-shirt and blue jeans with brown hiking boots. He has a full greying beard and long greying hair pulled back in a ponytail tail. He looks severe behind hid round sunglasses, with his arms dressed in defiance.

Accessories included in the package are a mobile phone, a laptop computer, and a book titled "Book of Facts". There is a label up top that reads "Ages 18+" and a warning down bottom that reads "Spouts facts whether needed or not".

The name of this action figure is "Well, Actually Man".

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1y

Woo! Feel the energy on this extreme #caturday!

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

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1y

Story structure can be good, it can also make it painfully obvious. Personally I prefer not being able to guess the ending after the first chapter... 🤔😁

@bookstodon @fantasybookstodon @bookbubble @humour @reading

#TomGauld #And #The #Story #Of #The #Structure
#Book #Books #BookMemes #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Novel #Novels #Bookshelf
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove #BoostingIsSharing
#Repost #From #Old #Account