#ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD @autistics
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It’s not really the DEP, we don’t automatically hate them, do we? I am forever being drawn in, I don’t hate them on sight.
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It’s really Antisocialization theory, the SEP (no, not Adams’ Somebody Else’s Problem), the Suppressed Empathy Problem, the Spanking Empathy Problem.
actuallyautistic
I'd like to do a round table about being neurodivergent and having food intolerance/allergies and grief.
I'd love to chat with 2-3 people on a Zoom call.
If you would be interested, please reach out through my contact form.
https://feathermanesoul.com/contact/
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #AlphaGal #FoodAllergies #Neurodivergent #NeurodivergentLife
For those of you who may be sensitive to such things. I am going to be talking about chronic illness and especially the complexity of additional conditions later in life. No details, just a general, well, vent I suppose, as part of my process of coming to terms with this and understanding it.
I was born with chronic asthma. In fact, as a very young child, doctors told my parents that I wouldn't make it through the night, on at least two different occasions, it was that bad. It has, in a sense, shaped my life, just as much as my autism/adhd (even though I didn't have a name for that then) and that is because I had to learn to adapt to them in much the same way. By understanding what they would allow and most definitely what they wouldn't. What perhaps I could manage and what would definitely cost too much. It all meant that my life and the choices I made going forward were governed as much, if not more, by what I couldn't do, as by what I potentially could.
And then comes the addition to my elder days of other chronic issues. COPD and a back that is truly fucked, which I believe was the medical terminology used. Suddenly I have a conflict of many separate demands on my resources, any and all of which can be draining and no way of really knowing which will be in play on any given day, above and beyond their natural state of dysfunction and energy drain.
It leaves me, with what I like to call, Schrödinger's drawer. In principle spoons should be in there, but whether they are, or aren't and how many there might be, can't be known until I look inside each day. It makes planning a far more uncertain process, even to something as simple as the next day. In fact, at times, it seems almost impossible. My life filled far more with cannot's and maybes, than with anything else. Something my audhd nature is far from happy with and that can bring a greyness to the world as I realise that I can barely see ahead any more and attempting to do so with any hope is far more difficult.
Still, it is early days and no doubt I will adapt. If there is one thing being audhd all my days has taught me, it is how to do that.
Please note. I am fine and it is still early days. And anyone replying with anything about therapy and getting it, could very well be met with all the withering scorn available to my embattled and gnarly old soul. (But that's just me and therapy)
Edited 38d ago
can it really be this simple?
Stay the fuck away from people because they are all abused and your Autism means the DEP is going to make you another abuser in their minds no matter what you say or how you behave?
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#ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD @autistics
Edited 39d ago
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 939 , Sunday 24/05/2026
I managed to get a bit of a lie in this morning but the sunlight streaming thru the window woke me up & drove me out of bed.
It has been a day of frustration of beauty & of sadness.
Managed to get windows 10 onto my MBP this morning, so that was heartening,
Mrs S & I went out for a short walk in the glorious sunshine by the local reservoir & I was reminded that we live in a most beautiful part of the world!
I got myself a Steam a/c & got a copy of Elite Dangerous this afternoon but could not get it to run, it was a bit of a long shot on a 7 year old machine. I will have to wait for Christmas for a gaming PC.
Late this afternoon I found out that a lovely friend that I met on here some time ago had passed after succumbing to an illness they knew nothing about at the start of the year.
I will post a G.N.U. for them after their funeral but I will let others formally announce their passing as they have asked.
Final Thoughts.
Nobody is truly gone as long as their name is spoken by those who knew them & cared for them.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Hi y'all,
Two weeks ago I shared my survey about improving autism questionnaires on here, looking for participants.
I got so many responses and boosts (thank you all!), and I now only need about 20 more people! 😊
You can participate if you are older than 16, fluent in English and have normal / corrected to normal vision. It should take around 30 minutes!
https://maastrichtuniversity.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_86szgfkwCOBJchw
More infos below, but please lmk if there's questions or feedback!
Edited 202d ago
@actuallyautistic @autistics #ActuallyAutistic sometimes i hate having the predictive pattern autistic trait…
…just received word on a change at work i saw coming 2 years ago that will again lead to someone failing upward all for being “socially acceptable”…
…can't wait until next month when that part is confirmed too
Mi-ange, mi-démon.
Mais c'est parce que les ânes m'ont appris à ne plus me laisser marcher sur les pieds.
- Tu m'emmerdes ? Je te donne un coup de sabot.
- Tu penses que je n'ai pas ma place dans la société ? Je te donne un coup de sabot.
Il y a 200 ans, j'aurais été brûlée vive en public pour hystérie.
#SolAne #Donkeys #Actuallyautistic #TSA #AutismeauFeminin #Piaille #Validisme
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 954 , Monday 08/06/2026
Monday started early as it was a gym day.
It has to be said that I’m finding that the gym would be less traumatic if there were less people in there - I had to re arrange my gym routine again to cater for other folk!
I know that this seems somewhat selfish but it breaks my brain a little bit when it happens!
Got home & then breakfast & chores happened.
The rest of the day has been spent on NMS missions & exploring a tiny bit of Mars (using actual NASA data generated landscapes) in Starfield.
Final Thoughts.
Mrs S used her ‘study’ for the 1st time in anger today & appears to be very happy with it so that’s good!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic recently made the mistake of commenting on an IG post and i took issue with someone calling autism a disorder…
…i was then scolded that the "community" considers disorder and disability to be the same thing…
…i responded that disorder should be replaced with condition since disorder is inherently negative and leads to othering…
…am i alone in thinking disorder is not the same as disability?
Having poor interception and alexithymia (not being aware of my body /emotions) means it's difficult for me to know that I'm getting overwhelmed and close to a meltdown until it's nearly inevitable.
I've only recently figured out some of the signs:
- Intrusive thoughts increase in intensity and violence
- More angry rumination
- Misophonia gets worse
- My shoulders are up, my fingers tapping
- I get really sleepy
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1023 , Sunday 16/08/2026
Sunday started very late at gone 8am after a very rough night filled with painful arms & legs & feeling cold enough to need a blanket & bed socks on a warm evening.
I think this is related to feeling rough Thursday night into Friday morning, although I did think that was done with!
Today has been a day of no energy, aches & chills - can one actually have cold flushes, because I have had a few thru the day!
I hope that some sleep tonight will leave me well enough to go to the gym in the morning!
Final Thoughts.
No thoughts, just cold flushes!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Ooooops, in my (continued) manky state I forgot to post this last night! 🙄🤦♂️
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic i told the board i do not have the bandwidth or capacity to plan our summer retreat...
...and i am flooded with crap like this:
"I can support. Let me know what I can do to help.”
...the fancy dress version of weaponized incompetence methinks
In a peak move of adulting, I have decided not to do my laundry today. I simply can't be arsed. It has been a rough week heat wise and that therefore means the whole being able to breath wise, what with my COPD, not to mention sleep wise. So, no laundry for me today, even though it is laundry day.
I feel no need to justify this decision, or berate myself over it. After all, allowing myself to not do things is just as important as doing things, in terms of my well-being and management of my needs. Something that we can all be prone to forgetting I think.
Also, because this decision falls squarely into the following two boxes,
Self-care that is choosing not to.
And
Knowing that this can genuinely wait.
Both of which are often not given the importance they are due.
(For further context. I use a communal laundry room. So to do some requires that I get dressed, leave my flat, go down to the floor below and risk all the peopling that could take place, if I am unlucky. As well as having to remember to return for the laundry once the cycle is complete and risk peopling again.)
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1010 , Monday 03/08/2026
Monday started early & with a distinct struggle!
Not been feeling the full shilling the last few days & I felt it in the gym today, I persevered but was not at my best.
After breakfast & chores I tackled the first 3 of the toolboxes I brought back from my late FiL’s place.
I also did some digging & there is a UK charity that takes old tools, renovates them & then sends them to 3rd world countries. Perfect for the tools I won’t be able to keep!
I was totally drained after 3 boxes so called it a day & went roaming around the galaxy again.
Chicken thighs & salad for tea - rather nice even if I do say so myself!
Final Thoughts.
I’m not sure how much of this malaise is physical & how much is a MH thing. It seems like an extension of the whole not being able to concentrate on reading.
Writing the diary tonight was a conscious effort.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
![Avatar for [a]mayz[ing]’s gaze](/proxy/identity_icon/507740677641041258/95a39e9135.jpeg){kind=icon}
once again a night in which i wake up near overload because i am too hot, everything feels wrong and i just want to crawl out of my skin.
heatwave after heatwave, i am withering in this new reality. i cannot fathom, that this is only the beginning and it will only ever get worse.
as if life was not fucking hard enough already.
@autistics @actuallyadhd #autistic #actuallyautistic #heatwave #actuallyaudhd
RE: https://mastodon.social/@filmfreakmafia/117123826199083809
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic David Mitchell's John Taylor is an excellent autistic coded character…
…but i think the character is just undiagnosed, personally
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic for decade before i was diagnosed...
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic but what i am tired of doing so...
Send complaints to all the 15 publications that hounded Jason Arday in one go. Also a IPSO complaint.
https://newscord.org/action/jason-arday-pile-on
#Autism #autistic #neurodiverse @autistics #AutisticBurnout #ActuallyAutistic
Edited 24d ago
This morning there was a situation, that showed me once more how differently people experience sensory input, especially autistic and allistic people.
My personal assistant accidentally arrived one hour too early and because I had to finish some routines, I asked her if she wants to wait on the balcony. She agreed and then we had the following conversation:
Me: "It's already very hot in the sun."
She: "I can endure the sun."
Me: "Ok, do you have sunglasses?"
She: "I don't need sunglasses."
Me [big autistic eyes]: There's such a loud noise from the construction work nearby. Do you have headphones?"
She: "That's not a problem. I don't need headphones."
Me: 😯
When I opened the balcony door 20 minutes later, it felt like opening the gate to hell. These 20 minutes would have probably caused a meltdown for me. For her it was just a relaxed start into the working day.
I'm still trying to raise money for floss and some toothpaste. I also could really use grocery money.
My goal is $230, anything helps 💕🥰
etrans: tasiathereader@gmail.com
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ourinsatiabesouls
#BlackMutualAid #MutualAidRequest
#BlackMastodon #queermutualaid
#HelpFolksLive2026 #Queercrowdfund
#disability #disabilityaid #actuallyautistic #DisabilityCrowdFund #MutualAid
@mutual_aid @mutual_aid@starflower.space @MutualAidVisibility @anarchomutual @blackfedi
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1012 , Wednesday 05/08/2026
Wednesday started early & it was a real struggle to get out of bed. I had a rubbish night & struggled to get to sleep until the wee small hours!
Despite yesterday’s events & the lack of sleep I managed to get my ass into gear & down to the gym.
It was a challenging gym session, not only because I was tired & out of sorts but also because I had to break my routine because others were using the kit. It’s not their fault obviously but it does make a difference.
Got home & breakfast was followed by chores.
I read a report about the effects of eating from heated plastic containers over the weekend & one of the things it mentioned was an increased risk of thyroid problems. Mrs S & I have both encountered thyroid issues this year & so this was the catalyst that has driven us to use glassware instead of plastic in future.
To support this move we bought a 20 piece set from Costco™ - WARNING it seems that the lids are counted as ‘pieces’! I was not amused when I discovered this & will be saying as much when the inevitable request for a review hits my email inbox!
Anyhow I had a massive culling session today & while I have kept some of our existing plastic ware for storage & prep work the bulk is history!
This afternoon I finished going thru the toolboxes that came from my late FiL’s house. At some point I will have to find homes for the tools I am keeping (they are all sharing a cardboard box at the moment) but that is a job for another day!
Chicken skewers for tea with the last of the salad from the weekend. Very nice!
Final Thoughts.
A better day than I thought it would be & more productive too!
Tomorrow maybe a challenge - the current plan is to drop Mrs S off at the office then drive thru to my late MiL’s house & continue work in the garage - I must remember to take some cans of pop with me because there is nothing in the way of beverage prep in the house any more!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic the yin and yang of my board work:
(1) the president dint and vice-president are engaged in a cross between gaslighting me and blowing smoke up each other’s
(2) my consult from last week said to me ”You helped me work through this issue in ways i never thought I could."
that i can achieve the work of (2) in spite of the bullshit from (1) makes me know that i am doing good in the world