actuallyautistic
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 798 , Saturday 03/01/2026
TL;DR Yay for the chores getting done & putting up the mirror. Oooops USA kidnaps leader of another country. Green Party here I come!
Saturday started surprisingly late at around 07:30.
After breakfast Mrs S went shopping & I finished the daily chores & then in an unusual burst of energy I cleaned the coffee machine, put up a full length mirror in my room (one rescued from my late MiLs ) & hoovered the lounge.
It felt good to have achieved these small goals!
Then I made the mistake of catching up on my TL ... Oh Nuggan’s holey nuts!
The orange oaf has invaded Venezuela & kidnapped their President (not a nice guy but still!) & their 1st lady!
Subsequently the UK's pitiful excuse for a PM stated: "The UK has long supported a transition of power in Venezuela. We regarded Maduro as an illegitimate President and we shed no tears about the end of his regime."
I don't usually get political here but WTAF!?!
Not surprisingly these events took the gloss off my day.
Final Thoughts.
I feel terribly sorry for the people of Venezuela, they have had to put up with a corrupt dictator as a leader & have now been plunged into a war that they cannot win with a wanna be dictator. I hope that, when the dust settles in the months possibly years to come they do manage to return to a form of government that more concerned with the welfare of its people than the wealth of its resources!
I'm done with Labour, they are led by a man with no more morals than BJ & have utterly forsaken their grass roots supporters in so many ways.
Old Zack Polanski seems like an upstanding kinda guy & let's face it the Greens are far more in tune with my ideological standpoint than any of the other parties. (With the exception of the SDP, but Ed Davey needs to stop acting the fool because I just can't take him seriously!)
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Every time my Mam calls, she ends up messing with the screen controls & it's exhausting trying to remind her to keep her fingers of the screen.
I think she needs to hold the screen closer toner head so the controls get hidden / deactivate.
Tried explaining that she could put the phone down & use Speaker mode but, same problem. No memory for it.
She's started talk about moving, been saying she might for years but with the landlord passed away & property up for sale she kind of has to now.
She's finally started saying she might move back to the Netherlands to be near family & I'm hoping she does but worried she doesn't seem to understand how quickly she could go from having a roof to not having one, if the purchaser wants the tenants out.
I don't know Scottish rental laws.
I think she definitely is going to need help & if she opts for moving near me, I'm it & I'm useless. In the Netherlands she'll at least have her siblings & any friends she kept in touch with.
No clue what to do to help her get started or if I should just leave it. Even if I could help I'm not sure I have a clue what to do or where to start.
Okay, think I'm just spinning wheels now.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Parents
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 806 , Sunday 11/01/2026
Sunday started around 8am after a decent lie in.
I made breakfast for me & Mrs S then did my chores.
Got about an hour on the PS5 romping around in KCD2 - I’ve finally found my characters dog ‘Mutt’ so next is to reclaim my horse.
Mrs S wanted to binge watch the latest series (s3) of ‘Blue Lights’ this afternoon & evening.
Final Thoughts.
Ugh, reality bites, I will have to get my ass into gear this coming week, people to do & things to see!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Since I found out that I am autistic 4 years ago, especially during the last months, I came to a much better understanding of myself, my neurodivergence, my sexuality and the different parts of my personality.
After having a very difficult time during the last week, including working through several trauma responses, there has been an important step of personal growth for me. I feel more clonnected to myself, authentic and whole.
For that reason I decided to change my online-name and IRL nickname from Kaci to Kitti.
This helps me to leave hurtful experiences I had in the past behind, embrace all parts of my personality and start a new chapter of my life.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic wonder how fast i’d get fired if i said this next time i get push back for doing something an efficient way as opposed to the "preferred way”
Hi folks, I have a new blog post🥸
This time it's a bit of a technical infodump about qualitative vs quantitative Analytics, and how we improved the homepage UX on mobile on my #ActuallyAutistic nonprofit's website
Let me know if it feels more useable now.
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 807 , Monday 12/01/2026
Monday started at around 6am with a sore throat, a runny nose & next doors kids dawn chorus!
I appear to have contracted the bug that Mrs S had the end of last week & over the weekend.
It’s been a quiet day, I’ve done most of my chores but it has to be said I was grateful when Mrs S sorted out the bins!
Final Thoughts.
No nothing - my mind is as blank as the list of climate change actions that the USA are undertaking to commit to!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
RE: https://meow.social/@oddtail/115863865533945547
autistic people may not be aware of what other people are thinking, but who really does?
what autistic people are good at? pattern recognition.
im way too sensitive to changes in someone's behavior. if i ask someone if something is wrong because their behavior changes and they dont want or cant divulge their feelings, am i an asshole for asking?
in actually i get called crazy and nosy and "too sensitive". sometimes i do get called an asshole.
@autistics I'm going to write here about how I struggle to manage my spoons (energy spent throughout the day; see also "spoon theory") and the difficulties for us #neurodiverse people to survive and maybe thrive in a society that expects so much.
I’m not writing any of this to vent. Ultimately, near the end, I'm asking y'all to compare notes with me.
After decades as a software developer, I became a manager in Tech. It was my choice. At the time, I knew I was #actuallyadhd but had not yet been also diagnosed as #actuallyautistic. I had personally experienced mistreatment by egotistical and at times egomaniacal bosses. I'd seen my coworkers experience same. I suspected I could treat people with more compassion while getting the job done.
Things that ate my energy included:
- Meeting individually with my people were sacred to me. However, these meetings were very high in emotional labor. I did my best to be present for them through whatever they were sharing, offering coaching and mentoring where I could, referring out for what I couldn't, and also being a shoulder to cry on when needed.
- Group meetings with fellow managers and higher-ups. I felt more anxiety in these meetings. Really, anything involving "managing up" (meaning: dealing with "superiors"). While I did my best to collaborate, I felt a keener need to look for cues of threat in these interactions. More exhaustion.
- Finding time to do the paperwork. There's *always* paperwork. It takes effort, time, and even, sometimes, concentration. This would range between writing long term plans (lots of systems and strategic thinking) and lots of red-tape (my #actuallyaudhd interpretation of work that often seemed like a waste of time but required by the "organization").
Meetings required intense masking. In the corporate world, these days, there seems to be this expectation that managers all present as mini-Steve Jobs. We're expected to always appear composed. We're always supposed to show up, in group settings, as empathetic. In nearly all meetings, particularly with "reports" (people who work for us), we're coached to show up as kind yet, perversely, somewhat aloof; after all, we're in these meetings to "coach" and "mentor" as well where people aren't "meeting expectations" (also, more positively, to support high achievers when we see that they can excel even further).
It was, to say the least, a struggle.
So more to the point:
I survived and even thrived, for a time, largely by my managing my spoons. I started doing this deliberately, just to get through each day on the job. However, at the time, I wasn't seeing this as "spoons" so much as judging my ability to be *mentally aware and present* to perform a given task or function in a meeting. I was methodical in my process for managing my energy.
But I was only able to do this while on the job. Somehow, it was easier to force (mostly) consistent structure onto myself when it was for pay. But, also, once my work day was done, I was done. My life outside of work? A wreck. At the end of almost every day, I was stick-a-fork-in-me level of crispy. I had nothing left to give to anyone including myself.
Ultimately, all of this structure collapsed. I collapsed. Then I quit. I struggled through the autistic burnout I'd accumulated over years. Now, I'm unemployed and figuring out WTF to do with myself.
I'm just starting to show signs of recovering.
Now, on days when I want to do chores, I try to consider my spoons. I realize now that there are far less than I had been spending during all of those years of employment (leading into autistic burnout). Now, I plan maybe 1-3 significant chores, attempting to prioritize by both urgency and importance axes.
Having established a lot of context, onto the notes comparison request:
I imagine most of y'all are aware of your finite daily spoons (again, see: spoon theory)? Do any of y'all plan around your spoons? For taxing activities/events, do you find yourself reserving spoons earlier in the day? Maybe also the day before? Do you deliberately plan to go into debt, requiring recovery time the same day? Maybe the day after? Maybe even a few days after?
Do you take care of yourself similarly? Does it make life more comfortable? Less?
If you're employed, do you do anything like this as part of employment (something I'm mulling returning to versus self-employment)?
Really curious to hear about your experiences.
I so badly want to see this site to take off.
If you're #ActuallyAutistic, you know just how much of a problem these things can be. For me personally, having the information about lighting and how to get service in advance would be a huge help.
![Avatar for Cassian [main]](/proxy/identity_icon/301625261034528914/d6fa5b2c6a.png){kind=icon}
Hello!
I'm Cassian, I'm nonbinary (they/them) and I live in Wales. I mostly post about TV I'm watching, surveys I'm interested in, being neurodivergent, environment stuff, things I'm making, and spontaneous grumpy rants of little consequence.
I do the @gendercensus annually.
I first tried the Fediverse over 10 years ago, but didn't really get ensconced until the first wave of Mastodon in 2016.
#introduction #introductions #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #neurodivergent #disabled #disability #environment #Wales #knitting #sewing #3DPrinting #recycling #upcycling #nonbinary
My sibling has been kinda judging me (in a 'jokingly' manner) for having a special interest in Buddhism and Japanese culture. One day, they even past me that Japanese soda can and ask me to translate the label. I told them I'm still learning, so of course I don't know a lot of kanji words yet. They joked that 'Oh I thought you're supposed to be a weeabo'.
Just pure cringe. Nobody should mock someone who just happen to be interested in East Asian culture or any foreign culture for that manner. You're just not being funny man...
I just finished 'Is this Autism? A guide for clinicians and everyone else'. It's really good and if autism is a special interest of yours, like it is for me, you'll love it. I would also strongly recommend it for any healthcare professionals.
#Autism #autistic #neurodiverse @autistics #AutisticBurnout #ActuallyAutistic
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 808 , Tuesday 13/01/2026
Tuesday started fairly late with the hope that this bug was a 24 hour thing.
No such luck, my nose is leaking like a tap & someone is trying to drive a bypass thru my head!
Final Thoughts.
Ughhh…
I’ll be fine, just being grammatic! Or should that be dramatic? Who knows. If a Vogon wanted to chuck me out of an airlock I’m not sure I’d object!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic sad day, my fidget ring has a HUGE nick it…
…granted it has been annoying me more than helping me lately…
…back to the drawing board
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 809 , Wednesday 14/01/2026
Wednesday started late after quite frankly a rubbish night.
It’s been another day of fighting off the man flu … currently 2 steps forward & 6 steps back!
Manage to get a couple of chores doe, but dropped & smashed one of my favourite coffee mugs while washing up - not happy about that!
Been playing some KCD2 today - I really need to remember to save my progress when I go into a fight - lost ½ a days progress late this afternoon after I got mauled to deff by wolves!
Not had much of an appetite today which is not a bad thing need to lose some of this weight!
Final Thoughts.
Ok not enjoy this who bug thing.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 811 , Friday 16/01/2026
Friday started early-ish at around a quarter to 7 in the am, mostly because I fell asleep at a ridiculously early hour despite my sleep being more a chain of naps with moment of consciousness between them.
Another quiet day, I started the day coughing up a lung, but this evening I’m actually starting to feel better than I have all week.
Final Thoughts.
It seems I’m on the mend - which I am heartily grateful for.
I wonder if I have had some form of actual flu that has mostly been softened by the flu jab I had this year.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Finished reading this almost cover to cover - Dr Louise Newson’s book called The Definitive Guide to the Perimenopause and Menopause.
If you or someone who know might be impacted by perimenopause or menopause - in the future or now - read this! Or a book like it.
Perimenopause and menopause is so much more than hot flushes and brain fog. It can disrupt many bodily systems causing both physical and mental health problems and it often isn’t intuitive to consider whether hormones might be involved in those.
This book is relatively inclusive of trans and nonbinary folx, also mentions the common experiences of people with ADHD, early menopause (for various reasons), post natal depression, and many relevant health conditions from PMDD to POI.
Don’t wait until you’re a “certain age”, read up about it all now because the impacts can begin sooner than you might realise.
To fellow autistics: I saw a survey of autistic people a while ago that showed most people really benefit from know about perimenopause and menopause in advance. On the flip side of this, many people end up discovering they are neurodivergent because perimenopause broke their ability to mask and cope. This book (and others like it) can forearm you with enough knowledge to ask a GP for help and early.
For anyone with a pre-existing chronic illness that has an inflammatory component to it like I have, note that perimenopause can mess things up with that too!
@mecfs @autistics
#ADHD #ActuallyAutistic #pwME #MEcfs #perimenopause #menopause
I am so easily transfixed by moving images. I'd find myself often completely mesmerized by some looping animation playing without sound in a doctor's office or on the subway. Not even reading or comprehending, just completely zoned out staring blankly. If a TV is on at a friend's place I'm incommunicado.
And it happens almost every time I'm in a room with any moving images in it.
Today I found myself staring at my project's build log filling in. Zombified.
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 810 , Thursday 15/01/2026
Thursday was, more or less an extension of Wednesday. Sleep was again somewhat hesitant to find me last night. Just for a change my internal thermometer turned the temperature up to 11!
I think I’ve had 8 hours sleep in the last 3 nights, I don’t run well on this little sleep!
Managed to distract myself playing KCD2 for much of the day. There was a break just after lunch when I had to stand outside in the cold & wet holding a ladder for the guy who came to fix our gutters. It was worthwhile as it has needed doing for a while now!
Final Thoughts.
I hope that this bug takes the hint & buggers off soon!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Grocery shopping in the *big* supermarket = 2h.
Recovering from the sensory overload = 3h+
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 825 , Friday 30/01/2026
Friday started around 7am, with winter making its presence felt in the form of an overnight snow shower.
It’s been cold, damp & dank all day.
Did my chores & then vanished into the virtual world of medieval Bohemia.
I’m currently holed up in a secret den in the heart of a forest in medieval Bohemia, I need to be patient & wait for darkness to catch the last of a group of bandits. ADHD me can’t do that so I’m merrily disturbing all the other denizens of the area!
Pizza for tea, a chicken on e for a change! Very nice it was too!
Final Thoughts.
I am over winter now, roll on spring!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic Ten Reasons Why Autistic People Are Being Targeted | The Autlaw for The Unexpected Autistic Life courtesy of Medium (@Medium)