Today, I remembered to say "good, how are you?" instead of talking at length about how I really am! Twice! I was so proud of myself I almost giggled, which would have made things awkward indeed.
actuallyautistic
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 759 , Tuesday 25/11/2025
Tuesday started quite late at just gone 07:30.
Mrs S was in the office today so I had the house to myself.
I got my breakfast & did the normal early chores .
There is still stuff to do to get things back to normal now the router has been moved but I was waiting on materials to be delivered so I decided to have a bit of a lazy day.
This kind of worked in that I did some miscellaneous bits & bobs this morning, had lunch then called the store where I bought my new iPad from to chase a discount I had been promised but which had failed to be applied to my purchase - after 18 minutes on hold to their helpdesk a guy called Ollie answered & like so many people do, addressed me as madame - ok I have a high pitched voice - I’m not sure my voice ever broke - but really!!
Anyway I think his guilt at this faux pas got me an easy ride because as soon as I explained my problem he disappeared for a couple of minutes then came back & applied the discount!
Having not only conquered my intense dislike of calling folk, but also succeeding in my mission I decided that I deserved the 1st Dune movie!
I quite happily watched Dune until about 3pm when for no reason other than the thought occurring to me, I decided to redo the cabling in the recently fitter smart network switch (which did need doing because I had failed to document what was fitted to each port, making port management a bit complex) & in doing so decided that to accomplish this I needed to rewire the whole AV unit (where the switch is sited).
There followed a couple of hours merry cable management with the upshot that the cable runs in the AV unit are now a lot tidier & devoid of several redundant cables & all the ports in the smart switch are now identified & documented.
While I was about it I decided that (later this week ) the sound system needs recalibrating. I might factory reset the AVR we have & start from scratch, we've had issues with Mrs S's Bluetooth headphones loosing their connection to the AVR recently so a reset might well help.
I still need to finish watching Dune & watch Dune pt 2, that will be my reward at the end of the week I think!
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day, not the relax fest I initially planned but not a bad day for all that!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
I think one of my biggest problems in communication is, that I know what to do in theory, but often, it just feels too wrong.
For example most people are generally very intuitive thinking and have a low conscious awareness of what they are actually thinking and saying, so discussions feel like I have the choice between "being honest" and not getting my point across and herding the other person towards my point like an animal, which feels manipulative.
1/
Imagine we'd live in a world where people with dyscalculia were the majority and accurate numbers were no priority at all, since that would be too hard to calculate.
Just to name one example of a "neurotype".
Imagine the consequences for building, for chemistry, for medicine and so on.
What sounds like a horror screnario is pretty close to how it can feel like to live as an autistic person in a majority allistic society.
1/
Edited 130d ago
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 760 , Wednesday 26/11/2025
Wednesday started just after 07:30 & found me suffering from a streaming cold which had come over me during the night causing me to sneeze myself awake in the wee small hours!
I cracked on with breakfast & my chores then set about insulating the pipes that run along the landing & those in Mrs S’s study.
I also re laid part of the cable run to my room because it was bugging me that it wasn’t ’just so’.
The doorbell went around 11am & our postie stood without holding my iPad, which I’m now using to write this! However at the time I was very good, & put it on one side, having thanked our Portman profusely, & went back to re-laying the floorboards.
Stopped for a cheese n pickle sarnie around 1pm then finished the floorboards.
I had just finished that at around 3pm when Mrs S rang to say that her mum had been taken to hospital again & she was on route to see what was what. Turns out that my MiL had had a fall & cut her leg, but other than a dressing & an overnight stay under observation she seems to be ok - indeed Mrs S rang this evening & the Dr was discussing discharge details with her.
The upshot of all this is that I delayed unpacking & making the the new iPad mine until I knew all was well & I wasn’t going to have to find someway getting over to the hospital without a car!
So it was at around 4pm I finally got to play with my new toy / early Christmas present.
I’ve decided not to do a straight copy of everything all at once as I want to tailor this new iPad according to its capabilities.
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day all told, the post router move work is very nearly done & I have my new iPad 3 days before I was expecting it!
Now it just has to survive until tomorrow lunchtime when the case & screen protector arrive!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 801 , Tuesday 06/01/2026
Tuesday started late - the duvet was hard to let go of & I finally managed to escape its clutches at around 08:15.
Mrs S had gone into the office so there was a load of tidying up to do before I could get my breakfast.
Caught up on here after breakfast then finished the days chores.
I finally decided on a ‘new’ game this afternoon, having access to the playstation back catalog thru my PSN+ I decided to try ‘Dishonoured’ from something like 10 years ago. I can see why it won a load of awards, it had me gripped from the start & there is a follow up also available on the back catalog. It’s not got a wide open world but I can live with it.
We had a pasta bake for tea when Mrs S got home then a bit of nostalgia in the shape of episodes of ‘All Creatures Great & Small’ & ‘One Foot in the Grave’ seeing us to the end of the evening.
I am Victor Meldrew! 😆
Final Thoughts.
It’s my MiL’s funeral tomorrow, it looks like a cold day to be standing outside for her burial. Many spoons will be needed.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic another day, another double empathy problem...
…the antagonistic nature of the below comment seemed obvious to me, but not to my allistic friend…
"...during the pandemic...groups were proliferating wellness/well-being activities not directly related to duties that occurred during worktime....[m]any personnel abused reasonable limits...spent on these...activities and...responded to [managers] reasonable limits with outsized anger/complaints...”
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 962 , Tuesday 16/06/2026
Well today went quick!
I meant to have a lie in but failed miserably, despite me putting earplugs in last night my body decided that just before 7am was the ideal time to rise & shine!
Breakfast & chores as per.
Did a bit of work on the pond - the plant life is going nuts & is causing it to overflow so I yanked a load of it out. A more permanent fix is needed but I have neither the energy nor the inclination at the moment.
Final Thoughts.
I am super forgetful at the moment, I nearly forgot that it was my brother’s birthday but remembered just in time to give him a call around teatime!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
I haven’t got an official diagnosis because I’ve given up on the official sort of human being
.
@autistics #NTPsychology #ND #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic and once again, the high school bullshit is coming for me...
…in last month’s board newsletter (goes out to about 10k people) was an item re a paid series of classes teaching neurotypicals how to be better to autistics in their life...
...well, apparently the disabled group is bent out of shape that it was included since it encroaches on “their turf”…
…this is the same group that excommunicated me since i wasn't the appropriate level of ”passive”…
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 779 , Monday 15/12/2025
Monday started rather early and just before 7am.
I made us breakfast then did some chores before we set out for the days adventures.
First stop was to drop Mrs S off at the solicitors to have a meeting about next steps vis a vis the will & my MiL's estate, it seems that they will do the majority of the heavy lifting, for a fee of course!
While Mrs S was in with the solicitor I went up to my MiL's house and tackled a couple more draws ... made some interesting finds today in the shape of a laser measure (Bosch so a decent make), a handful of pencils, some miscellaneous small tools and a pair of binoculars. Mine are a Russian made pair I bought when I was a teenager, these are Miranda 10x50 wide angle with coated lenses. Not super special but better than my Russian pair!
There were a variety of other small nik-naks. I also came away with a small foot poof that I'm resting my tootsies on now and very comfy it is too!
We went to one of the local garden centres for lunch after Mrs S's meeting at the solicitors had finished. Then we closed up the house and went to meeting with the Undertakers, which went ok.
We did a bit of clothes shopping on the way home and then had a light tea of a couple of chicken skewers followed by a naughty helping of ice-cream.
Final Thoughts.
Mrs S is back in the office tomorrow so I can have a day to myself, which after today I could do with to be honest.
I'm endeavouring not to feel guilty about claiming my FiL & MiL's bits and bobs. I know that the contents were left to Mrs S and I to share between us but even so.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 761 , Thursday 27/11/2025
Thursday started around 07:15 ish, after an absolutely rubbish night due to I the lurgy that has me in its clutches.
Mrs S has stepped up & helped a lot today, I must look ill!
Spent most of the day working on getting my new iPad the way I want it & transferring Mrs S’s stuff from her old iPad to my ‘old’ iPad Pro. It should be a significant change for her not least because it’s a bigger screen.
She is not, by any stretch of the imagination a techno nerd but hopefully she will enjoy the bump up in speed & facilities.
One thing I have noticed is that my new iPad seems to have corrected a long standing problem I had with compose boxes on Mona & other apps not scrolling down when the text hit the bottom of the compose box, in fact not merely not scrolling down but the text vanishing until the post was sent. I found that placing a cartridge return or an emoji at the end of the text was a work around but it was annoying nonetheless!
It only took buying a whole new iPad to fix!
Final Thoughts.
I’m feeling slightly better this evening, which is an improvement - I’m hoping for a better night tonight!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 762 , Friday 28/11/2025
Friday started just after 07:15 after a much better night than the previous one but with me still coughing & splitting as I fight the lurgy!
Today has been a quiet day with the high point being the arrival of the bits & bobs for my new iPad - a screen protector, case & a new apple pencil as the old one isn’t compatible - talk about built in obsolescence!
I’ve reset the AVR today factory settings again today & so I have to go thru the settings & recalibrate it next week when Mrs S is in the office.
Final Thoughts.
Well thanks to a number of fairly minor frustrations today has not ended on a high note.
Sometimes I wish there was someone close at hand who I could depend upon to help with technical issues. It is exhausting under usual circumstances to be the one working out the solution to pretty much any problem that occurs with even the most simple electronic devices in the house, it’s even more exhausting when I’m ill & my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic never ceases to amaze me how neurotypicals prioritize the performative over the substantive…
…[self censoring snarky judgmental comment]
Thinking about my memory issues and how it affects my recollection of fictional works. I just finished my second watching of the Netflix animated series Dead End: Paranormal Park. The first time was a bit more than two years ago. I remember the timing as it ties in with certain things that happened in my life.
I didn't remember practically anything before it happened. Yet, there was this familiarity. I knew the characters. I recognized many things as the story unfolded. I didn't remember the big reveal. I had remembered that the show was cancelled before the final season, well enough so that I actually ordered the graphic novels the series is based on soon after I started my second watching. I still didn't remember how super-irritating the ending was with all the build-up for Season 3.
This is where I actually like my memory issues. I usually need repeated watching to remember the show so my second watching doesn't often feel like the second. It's a funny feeling. I know I like the show, it feels familiar, I know the characters (but not really their backstories) but I'm in the dark as to what will happen.
Earlier I've wondered why my classes didn't read any "classics" in school. Now I'm thinking that maybe we did. I simply have no memory trace of it.
RE: https://mastodon.social/@filmfreakmafia/115726539801848953
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic sounds like the process of unmasking to me
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 763 , Saturday 29/11/2025
Saturday started late, I had another very disturbed night so I slept thru until nearly 8am.
It’s been a quiet day, I went wild & made scrambled eggs for lunch - threw a couple of bread cakes into the air fryer for a couple of minutes - it toasted them wonderfully! Spread some blue cheese onto the toasted bread cakes & threw the eggs on top = very nice if I do say so myself.
It’s been another day of recovery today - I’m mostly there - just gotta get my strength back now, hopefully I will get a good nights sleep tonight!
We’ve had a Downton fest this afternoon / evening with pizza for tea!
The new iPad is settling in nicely, Mrs S seems happy with her upgrade & the ‘old’ iPad 7th gen is cleared ready for the trade in when the relevant packaging arrives next week.
Final Thoughts.
I seem to have won the battle with this bug, so I can look to finish tidying up after the great router move of 2025!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this resonates loudly based on personal experience and on other items i’ve read and watched…
…more prevalent as well, i find, when dealing with narcissistic people
I wonder how other #autistic #actuallyaudhd #actuallyautistic people feel about the tv shows:
- The Good Doctor
- Parenthood
Cc @autistics
I'm listening to Fern Brady talk about autism. Meltdowns as being like a bottle of pop/soda that's been shaken too much and then you open it.
I've read that it's often like anger. But anger tends to resolve quickly when the cause is fixed. Whereas, with a meltdown, NOPE! We're still "angry".
This was so much of my childhood. I was so angry so often.
Not that I could tell that this was odd because my father didn't like me and would yell at me. And he'd yell at my mother in front of me. I'd get between them and yell at him to stop.
Afterward, after his yelling and demeaning words, I'd go into a quiet room, turn off the lights, sit on the floor, and seethe.
Sure, it was justified seething. I was getting emotionally abused, before anyone thought this was wrong (back in the '80s). But I knew it was **wrong**
But the anger. I would be angry for hours.
When I'd be bullied or teased for being different in school, I'd be angry for a while. I'd even be violent within limits.
When I felt like I had no agency, I'd punch objects. I'd even Charlie horse myself: colloquial for punching myself in the thigh until walking with that leg ached.
So, sure, C-PTSD, because of years of accumulated awfulness. But also autism.
And this is so much of the difficulty with being autistic and getting diagnosed. The diagnostician has to untangle the trauma from possible autistic symptoms. There's overlap.
Also, so so SO many autistics have trauma. So many.