mutual aid
actuallyautistic
I always find it challenging to tap back into the flow of #Mastodon after even a short time away. I come back and I suddenly find it awkward again, like I don’t know what I want to say again.
It’s likely because there is very little I want to say to a mass of strangers in public, (I'm private, and it takes more translation effort than one-on-one for me), yet social networking is a thing that I need because of my IRL isolation.
Any other #ActuallyAutistic peers experience the same?
Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 
With a special wink towards my #NeuroSpicy 🌶️ friends, especially the #ActuallyAutistic ones... 
I felt like I was struggling again with the dark monster (depression). But, after some DuckDuck scrolling, I came to a site where they had an article on "Autistic Burnout".
I read more and when I came to these bits, I felt like they had been writing about me!
I hope I used the right symbol to show that these texts are quoted, original link to the article is below the 3 quoted bits.
> Meltdowns and shutdowns, those intense reactions to overwhelming situations, might become more frequent. You could find yourself losing control over your emotions in situations you’d previously learned to manage. These episodes can be frightening and embarrassing, further fueling the desire to retreat from the world.
> Even your special interests, those passions that have always brought you joy and comfort, might lose their luster. The hyperfocus that once allowed you to dive deep into your favorite subjects now feels elusive, replaced by a fog of disinterest and fatigue. This loss can be particularly distressing, as these interests often form a core part of an autistic person’s identity and coping mechanisms.
> Self-care routines that once anchored your days might start to slip. Keeping up with personal hygiene, maintaining a tidy living space, or preparing healthy meals can feel like insurmountable tasks. The structure that once provided comfort now feels like a series of impossible demands.
🔗 https://neurolaunch.com/autistic-burnout-symptoms-adults/
I will definitely try to find more about this... But I wanted to share this, and if I find more info, I'll try to share!
Catch you all later folks!
💜 🍀 🐾
"It's the fear, that if everybody stops drinking coffee the way I drink it than I will become the outcast. And that is scary to someone who suddenly is remembering how they have always treated outcasts."
This gives me strong "Everybody is autistic nowadays" vibes and expains the sociopsychological thinking pattern behind similar statements and behaviour, e.g. why so many people create the narrative of the "angry vegan" or are afraid of the visibility of marginalized people.
Such an insightful and interesting video.
#ActuallyAutistic #psychology #queer #vegan #sociology #nobot
Reading about task initiation strategies and as someone who uses them (to do lists, breaking down larger tasks into smaller ones, pomodoro/time limits) feels like there are no options for someone like me who is really struggling with task initiation and executive function due to autistic burnout.
Are there any other tips out there? And DO NOT tell me to rest/do nothing because I am a sole caretaker and in a precarious financial situation. Thank you.
@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD
i wish i had thought of expressing this experience like this -- happens all the time and i can never quite find the words https://neurodifferent.me/@theautisticcoach/115339225498682688
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic if i still had an office, i’d need a poster of this for it…
Today is not going according to my wishes or vague plans. Trying not to stress out over it & I'm losing myself in thoughts over how to simplify & organise next year's bullet journal.
This spiralled into, how can I get back on the, dealing with housework & cleaning wagon, as at some point I completely fell off. So, major paralysis on how or where to start.
Toying with the idea of introducing a, do one small thing everyday either before or immediately after breakfast, so that it's done.
Just small things like, clean the bathroom sink or pick up some random crap that I never tidied up.
If I can persuade myself to write down that I did it & when & then do the same for the following times that things get done, I might eventually have a realistic roster of things. Just need to remember to keep it flexible. If the day the floor need vacuuming I'm not up to it, swap it for something else or just shunt everything along a day.
As long as I don't fall into the trap of shunting things along indefinitely, I might be okay.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #TidyUp #CleanUp #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
Do you think you've suffered any trauma simply due to being autistic?
(trauma being pain that stays with you)
If so, what are the experiences you've suffered most trauma from? Are they sensory ones? Social ones? Or something else?
More info truly welcome - comment below 
I've put my own response in the first post below ⬇️
#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #Trauma #Bullying #Neurodiversity #SensoryIssues
Options: (choose one)
Edited 67d ago
There's this frustration I feel directed at me from people in my life thinking/expressing: 'hey, just do the thing'. But no, I'm not just going to do the thing.
The thing is hard for me and I'm going to give it the respect it deserves. It will take me longer. It might annoy people waiting on me.
But if I want to be able to do-the-thing sustainably in the long term, I need to do it in a way that goes 'with the grain' of my needs. My particularity cannot be set aside because my particularity is what drives all of my actions. If I ignore it, I burn out and give the thing up completely.
And then the people saying 'just to the thing' change to asking me 'why don't you do the thing anymore? I thought you liked it?'
#ActuallyAutistic
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this is the visual representation of my philosophy of overcoming out of spite
https://mas.to/@skeletor/115345086573063868
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic just had my haircut and i can feel like i can think again…
…my only ick is that my barber’s venue (not an owner) is so insanely bright…
…huge amount of long tube lights which i guess are better in general, but grinds my gears
I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.
The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.
Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?
After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.
I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.
I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification
I've always liked eye contact. However, since I started unmasking, I've noticed that there are many situations where I've started avoiding it. For instance, when walking among other people, or when it's my turn to talk.
With the former, I've understood eye contact with many people is actually really exhausting. There are so many processes that go with it.
With the latter, it's simply way easier to think and talk without maintaining eye contact. Earlier I did take strategic eye contact pauses where I looked into a certain direction. Now my eyes go all over the place.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this documentary is a beacon for why you should never talk to law enforcement without an attorney
AND
you shouldn’t believe the hype that autism is “mainstream” aka “understood” now
https://letterboxd.com/film/the-carman-family-deaths/
Edited 17d ago
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 771 , Sunday 07/12/2025
Sunday started really early at just gone 6am.
The original plan was to go with Mrs S to her mums & await the folks from Careline to come & pick up their kit - which I deinstalled yesterday when I was there.
But the cold I had the other week has, mostly because we’re living without proper heating, gone to my chest & given me a hacking cough. I’m also overwhelmed by everything that has happened this week. Once upon a time I would have pushed on regardless & then had the inevitable implosion. But these days both myself & Mrs S recognise the signs that I’m struggling & so she insisted I stay at home & rest up.
To be fair the first half of the coming week is going to be full on & going Into it exhausted mentally & physically would be unwise.
I did however make us both breakfast & get all the chores done.
I decided to install the mini stereo system that I brought back from my MiLs yesterday.
It’s a Panasonic SA-PM71 SD & has quite the history - I originally bought it when my first Awia tower system died. When we got our first AVR in 2012 I gave this to my FiL because he had nothing to play CDs on.
It shows it pays to get quality kit sometimes though, this has been a well used piece of kit & it is still going strong!
I also dug out my old usb extended apple keyboard to use at my desk and there is so much space between the keys!
Also nice positive feel to them - might keep this setup now I've moved to my Mac mini and use my BT keyboard downstairs with the ipad.
(Update 21:43 - this is in fact what has happened)
Spent a pleasant morning tinkering with the new setup, the Panasonic mini system has an SD drive but it doesn’t have Bluetooth so the Mac is connected via the headphone jack to the aux input on the stereo. The sound is surprisingly good the speakers on the Panasonic are 3 way ones with a decent bass for such small speakers.
Mrs S got back around 1pm so we had a light lunch & settled down to relax & catch up on some TV shows.
Final Thoughts.
It’s not been a bad day, I desperately needed some alone time & this morning gave me that. Still got this flipping rag end of a cold though!
There is much to do tomorrow, but that is tomorrow’s problem!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Rephrase for our benefit.
Autists are looking to the outside world to try to understand our place in it. We are a minority of outward looking adventurers who need time to process all our inputs. Find a spot for ourselves in the external world.
Allists are inward looking, asking what the world can do for them. They need less time to focus since they already limit themselves inward. The majority of people are not adventurers,so find a spot in their internal world.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic was walking through the local transit tunnel station and was bombarded with lights reminding me of the old gym lights…
…the ones that took forever to warm up and would go through various color chnages while they did…
…could this have been the core reason i hated gym all along?
After reading this review of #Apple Liquid Glass' usability (god-awful), I will avoid upgrading my #iPad as long as possible. I'll never ever buy another Apple product. Apple, when people have #autism, your candy-ass user interface is like fingernails scratching on a chalkboard - only it's their brains, not their eardrums. May you go bankrupt as swiftly as possible, and then all the museums spitefully bury their exhibits of your old hardware in a forlorn, forgotten corner of a wasteland. #ActuallyAutistic
@autistics
Edited 74d ago
Does anyone else have these problems?
I can hear a squirrel move in a tree at a hundred yards or a slow leak in a tire as I walk by, but I can't understand the words spoken into my ear without effort. I can see a squirrel in a tree at a hundred yards or a small transparent mushroom at the foot of a wall, but I can't see words on packaging or signs without my full concentration.
#ActuallyAutistic #adhd #dyslexia
Options:
My all time favorite autistic conversation is simultaneous info dumping.
Two autists appearing to be in regular conversation, but really mixing info dumps so that it seems like a regular conversation. Bit of info dump, bit of listening to another info dump, a few questions and insights to keep the other info dump going.
I particularly see this among my non realized autistic friends.
Throwback to that one university summer school evening event that I was about to leave early-ish. Someone half pressured me to stay as something fun was yet to happen. The "fun" part was some traditional dance that everyone had to take part in. I did not enjoy it and would've rather be back at the hotel by myself. The person who pressured me to stay said "Good that you stayed for this." It never occurred to me why it was a good thing.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic was recommended this show by a co-worker (only 2 of 8 episodes dropped) and 10 miniutes in to episide 1 and i’m already obsessed