Being autistic in an allistic world is like being required to pay money to ice skate uphill while allistic people get unlimited free crampons.
actuallyautistic
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1038 , Monday 31/08/2026
Monday, being a public holiday, started with a lie in until 07:30.
Breakfast & a few basic chores got the day underway & then I had a couple of hours on the PS5 as Mrs S was doing some admin stuff.
All was well until late morning when we had a power cut for an hour!
We relaxed with a couple of Mrs S’s TV shows this afternoon & then finshed the day with a fried chicken takeaway & ‘Charlie Wilson’s War’ with Tom Hanks who is definitely one of my fave actors!
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day at all, Northern Powergrid’s failure to provide power not withstanding!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
RE: https://mastodon.social/@starryeyes/117468255284313812
Please share, if you can? I'm so deeply sorry & embarrassed. I'm desperate and not doing well without my medications. 😖
#NEISvoid #hEDS #chronicpain #marfansyndrome #EDS #MECFS #POTS #MCAS #AuDHD #actuallyautistic #ADHD #disabled #longcovid #mutualaid #spooniechat #chronicillness #crowdfund #emergencycrowdfund #tetheredcord #chiarimalformation #fibromyalgia #queercrowdfund #queermutualaid #povertycrowdfund #ihatethisiamsosorryomfg
It still baffles me how many people believe, that understanding other people’s perspective is the one size fits all solution for inner peace. Usually that comes from a position of privilege, the level of understanding of “It happened to me that I took something personally, but then I understood the other persons perspective and realized that it was not about me and that made me feel better.” Ironically this believe is the result of a limited perspective, of the limited understanding of other people’s lived reality.
Like so many other autistic people, understanding other people, their motives, their behavior, understanding how this world works has always been a strong interest of mine. And it is helpful and necessary for emotional maturity and personal growth, communication and relationships, don’t get me wrong.
I do believe that humans are inherently good, like Rutger Bregmann elaborates in his book “Human Kind” and that it is a complex combination of individual and systemic factors that makes people do bad things. But that is exactly the point. Whose perspective is valid, heard and relevant in this society is a question of power, hierarchy and privilege and intent doesn’t magically erase harm. I wrote about this empathy gap when it comes to power dynamics a few years ago and a mutual, @Newstrujew nailed it with the sentence “At a certain level of power, empathy becomes completely optional.”
So as an autistic woman I am at a point where understanding others people’s perspective often doesn’t give me peace, because it usually reveals their ignorance. I want them to understand and validate mine.
#ActuallyAutistic #intersectionality #mentalhealth
@autistics
so I don’t suppose anyone heard me fucking up Bowie’s Andy Worhol, but I happened to listen to the album maybe three weeks ago and heard the riff again, first time in decades and heard how wrong I’d got it - and I still don’t have the gene or a musician’s brain, because it has taken all these days for me to figure how to do it, how to remove the pause I had inserted in the middle of it. It’s sort of amazing watching yourself be so challenged, what happens when you just don’t have the firmware for something, while whatever part is watching seems to be working OK. 😳🫣
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I had two little runs in my mind that needed to be one longer one, and it was like pulling teeth trying to do it. It’s simple addition , put the two numbers together (or simple
subtraction, don’t do what I was doing in the middle of the run), and it took me weeks. 🙄😠
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A hard one to memorize too, the chords are not any trope I know, they’re not intuitive. I’ve finally got the verses, found some sense to remember, but the chorus still seems like just random memorization, and I’ve never been any good at that.
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#Guitar #Music #ActuallyAutistic @autistics
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1039 , Tuesday 01/09/2026
Tuesday started at just after 7am.
An unremarkable day so I wont. Remark on it that is.
Final Thoughts.
I am slowly de-googling myself. I ditched everything bar gmail at the beginning of the year but now I am moving everything off. Or at least everything that I can find an active link to.
There are a couple of services that may prove interesting to move as they are pretty much incoming only info services but no doubt there is a way to get hold of them IRL.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Being AuDHD makes it so hard to keep to basic daily routines when the context they reside in suddenly changes.
In theory, my routines could be almost the same right now as before. But I’m deeply thrown off by a change around me, even though this change was planned and I’m prepared.
It’s like my internal map broke - the one that guides me through each day showing me all the waypoints. Need to figure out where I am and make a new map... recalibrate.
Usually takes me at least 2 nights to adjust. The morning after that second night should feel MUCH more comfortable.
I’m noticing I’m feeling embarrassed sharing this, too. 😔 I don’t know why. It’s just AuDHD stuff. I’ve only known I’m AuDHD for a few years though. Somehow I still think I can power on through (doesn’t work) or magically snap out of it (haha!)
@autistics
#AuDHD #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD
RE: https://mastodon.social/@filmfreak75/117315724619780815
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic i scheduled this last week and am currently engaged in an issue on point…
…is this being psychic or just playing the odds?
Most autism support focuses on helping autistic people fit into a world that was never designed for you.
We will explore what it means to create a life that is grounded in self-understanding rather than self-criticism.
https://www.theautisticcoach.com/newly-diagnosed-autistics-group
#ActuallyAutistic @intergalacticmegallama s@fedigroups.social
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 978 , Thursday 02/07/2026
Heck I completely missed that we have moved into July! Not that my brain is terminally fried or anything!
Up at 06:30 & then a day filled with chores, meal prep & Starfield.
I did also fit a hydraulic door closer to the bathroom door. We have had a spring loaded one on for ages to stop the moggy varmints getting in (because me n Mrs S had a habit of leaving the door open) & drinking out of the shower basin … not the healthiest water in the world!
The problem was that with the windows open the door slams shut & it was damaging the frame & the plaster around the frame.
So I managed to get a ‘small’ hydraulic closer & fitted it today. It is much more noticeable than its predecessor but even with the windows open blowing today the door now closes smoothly & quietly!
One of Mrs S’s gunky microwave meals for tea because I could not be arsed to do anything more challenging & we had run out of salad.
Final Thoughts.
Quite pleased with the new door closer - it’s weird how ones definition of success changes when there is so little to succeed at.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1040 , Wednesday 02/09/2026
Up early for the gym, a really good session as the scales finally proclaimed that I had lost a little weight!
Got home around 07:45 so that Mrs S could take the car to work.
A nice peaceful day, I even manged to spend 3 hours tidying my room - there is still a lot of paperwork to go thru, most of it I need to get stern with & throw away!
But I have boxed up the old Amp that I haven’t used in months & the Ps4 pro that has sat up there gathering dust. I had envisaged using it as a remote terminal for the PS5 but that never took off.
Watched ‘Apollo 13’ while I worked - such a good movie & one I know well enuf to be able to dip in & out of while still following the plot.
Even managed a couple of hours on the PS5 later this afternoon,
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day at all on the whole.
I am absolutely knackered though!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
RE: https://mastodon.social/@filmfreak75/117208390350309592
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic UPDATE: so the board issue from this AM has been an all day discussion between me and the same board member/co-worker...
…and the situation is WAY worse than we thought so there is a lot of tension (not between us) about things...
...board member/co-worker commented how cranky they are today…
…i took it as a compliment i was creating a safe space
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this morning had a meeting with a fellow board member (who also happens to be in my unit) about our upcoming board meeting…
…was mostly about concerns/issues re the proposed budget, but…
…we went on a tangent re unit concerns/issues and it was so affirming…
…it's a small point of light and i'll take it
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 1041 , Thursday 03/09/2026
Thursday started just after 7am & took a pretty much instant down turn.
I had noticed a puddle of water by the door into the kitchen yesterday but I put it down to Mrs S spilling it & simply mopped it up. However it was back again this morning & although I wouldn’t put it past Mrs S to spill water twice to spill it in exactly the same spot seemed unlikely!
After some investigation it turned out to the coming from the cold water feed to the hot water system. It was only a minor leak so heaven only knows how long its been leaking for!
I have fixed the leak - I think, we shall see if the puddle reappears over night!
Final Thoughts.
I hate plumbing! We have had so many leaks over the years in so many different places!
Back at the gym in the morning & then the weekend begins!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic to showcase the “quality" and “faith in" the admins at work…
…i've been asked to finalize a business letter with a BCC and given explicit instructions to not include it in the final letter going out…
…i have over 25 years of experience (probably closer to just over 30) and worked with the requestor for over 7.5 years…
…but thinks i'm too stupid to know what to do without their express instruction…
…but this isn't infantilizing, it’s providing “clear instructions”
Edited 67d ago
how do I make pathological demands like an allistic person?
#actuallyAutistic
Good afternoon. I'm trying to raise $300 for my September bills. It's going to be a rough month and anything helps.
etrans: tasiathereader@gmail.com
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ourinsatiabesouls
#BlackMutualAid #MutualAidRequest
#BlackMastodon #queermutualaid
#HelpFolksLive2026 #Queercrowdfund
#disability #disabilityaid #actuallyautistic #DisabilityCrowdFund #MutualAid
Saw the Charles Grodin movie tonight. 💜
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Dude had a rigid and overdeveloped sense of justice, all I’m saying. 💜
.
#ActuallyAutistic @autistics
#IWatchTooMuchTV