#TheOnion coming on strong.
https://theonion.com/capitol-tour-guide-keeps-pointing-out-hidden-spots-with-uninterrupted-sight-lines/
(There's no article, the headline and photo are the whole joke.)
#politics #funny #humor
theonion
The Onion has made a movie, "Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile." @vanityfair spoke to CEO Ben Collins about how it got made, why the shooting of Charlie Kirk nearly stopped its release, and what you can expect from the 20-minute satirical documentary. "So much of this is social commentary, and so much of it’s just stupid dick jokes, basically."
#Movies #Cinema #Entertainment #TheOnion #JeffreyEpstein #JeffreyEpsteinBadPedophile #DonaldTrump
The Onion going hard in their year in review.
"Gang Initiate Forced To Peacefully Deescalate Conflict To Prove He Not A Cop"
https://theonion.com/gang-initiate-forced-to-peacefully-deescalate-conflict-to-prove-he-not-a-cop/
#TheOnion #humor #funny #ACAB
Antichrist Rolls Eyes Throughout Peter Thiel Lecture
ROME—In addition to crossing his arms and shaking his head as he listened to the tech billionaire spread blatant misinformation about the End Times, the Antichrist reportedly rolled his eyes Monday throughout a lecture given by Peter Thiel. “This second-rate charlatan doesn’t know the first goddamn thing about my plans to bring widespread doom,” said the [……
#theonion
https://theonion.com/antichrist-rolls-eyes-throughout-peter-thiel-lecture/
A bit of good news.
The Onion says it has struck a deal to take over Infowars https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/04/the-onion-alex-jones-infowars-studio/
And the announcement on The Onion’s site is hysterical.
#Media #TheOnion
#TheOnion going hard at #SamAltman.
It's hard to pick, but I think this is my favorite line:
"Why did you decide to devote your life to AI?
I just saw so much suffering in the world that needed to be automated."
#OpenAI #funny #humor
https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-sam-altman/
J.K. Rowling Escapes Insane Asylum
LONDON—Urging the public to remain calm as authorities worked to recapture the mentally disturbed individual, city officials confirmed Monday that novelist J.K. Rowling had escaped from a London insane asylum. At 7:33 this morning, medical staff reportedly discovered the Harry Potter author and outspoken anti-trans activist had broken out of her padded, maximum-security cell at […]
The post J…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/j-k-rowling-escapes-insane-asylum/
Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer
WASHINGTON—Saying he had finally found a military commander whose character was worthy of the U.S. Army, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Friday that he was replacing ousted top general Randy George with a horse that drinks beer. “With Dusty’s wartime promotion to Army chief of staff, we’re putting the world on notice that the days …
#theonion
https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-replaces-top-general-with-horse-that-drinks-beer/
Historians Theorize Declaration Of Independence Started As ‘Twilight’ Fan Fiction
WASHINGTON—Offering new insight into the origins of America’s founding document, a group of leading historians published a report this week theorizing that the Declaration of Independence started out as Twilight fan fiction.
#theonion
https://theonion.com/historians-theorize-declaration-of-independence-started-as-twilight-fan-fiction/
Nation’s Quiet, Gangly Kids In Cargo Pants Announce Plans To Be Freakishly Good At Cross Country
AURORA, IL—Confirming they would soon emerge from the nation’s basements, computer labs, and AP History classrooms to dominate 5K courses across the nation, America’s quiet, gangly kids in cargo pants announced Wednesday that they planned to be freakishly good at cross coun…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/nations-quiet-gangly-kids-in-cargo-pants-announce-plans-to-be-freakishly-good-at-cross-country/
