Sleep has been challenging lately, getting to sleep & staying asleep. My back’s been troubling me, “silent” reflux making itself noticed, etc, etc. We no longer watch TV news, & I’ve reduced my exposure to violence & suspense on TV. (Which is challenging for an ADHDer.) And doing Pilates, & stretching, cuddling cats, nice walks etc. I’ve also tried meditations, white noise, calming music etc, some of which helps, sometimes.
When I was a small kid, I had 3 stims. I sucked my left thumb, twirled my hair at the temple with my right hand, & “finger danced”. (I’d flick & shake & squeeze my hands & fingers.) These would’ve helped with emotional regulation, but resulted in knotted hair, had the potential to cause damage to my mouth/bite/teeth, & drew teasing from my brother & kids at school. (There’s probably other stims too, like humming, which were less problematic.)
I was bribed by my parents to give up the first two, and supported by friends to suppress the last. And learned to repress my emotions, except in occasions when they would erupt rather dramatically.
When discovering my neurodivergence, my finger dancing started to occasionally appear. I felt like I was greeting an old friend. But I can’t summon it at need. It either happens or it doesn’t.
Last year, when tutoring a clearly neurodivergent teen (undiagnosed), I bought quite a few stim toys in search of something to help them stop gripping their cheeks with their fingers, scratching & drawing blood in the process. The best one for them was quite spiked, too painful for me (I do feel pain sometimes!) but some of the others were good for me. However, as a long time undiagnosed autist with lots of internalised ableism, I soon forgot about them.
I dug one out the other day for a visit to the dentist. That night, I took it to bed with me. (Caused some raised eyebrows with Partner. Sex toy? He knew jolly well what it was!) I held it going to sleep, drifted off after no more than 20 minutes (fast for me), & woke up holding it the next morning…
It’s a hollow silicone ball, like a stress ball, but covered in little bumps.
What helps you with your sleep?