Fellow autistics, how do you avoid litigating every social interaction that didn't go as planned in your head over and over and over for hours after the fact? Repeatedly telling myself "you didn't do anything wrong, their reaction was their fault not yours and you were in the right" is not working #autism #actuallyautistic #autistic
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 824 , Thursday 29/01/2026
Thursday started late as Mrs S was off to the office.
Weather has been somewhere between grim & ‘orrible, classic English winter weather!
Chores were done and then I hid away in a virtual world to stop myself doomscrolling. Well that’s my excuse & I’m sticking to it!
Final Thoughts.
Ahh, I nearly didn’t write this today, but I was stern with myself & decided to bore the world into submission!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 830 , Wednesday 04/02/2026
Wednesday started just after 7am.
We woke to snow & though that melted thru the day it’s not been a particularly nice day!
Breakfast was followed by the usual daily chores & then I knocked one of the bigger jobs off the list & cleaned the filters & rollers on the vacuum cleaner.
This afternoon saw me back in medieval Bohemia off to visit a fortress on a hill.
We had slow cooked beef short rib with veg & baby potatoes covered in a bourbon sweet sauce for tea, very nice!
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day at all, glad I managed to cross one of the bigger jobs off my list.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this is why cults thrive on conformity…
…and i have a supplemental harsh judgment (hot take) i am keeping to myself
I participated in a Cambridge University study about intersex traits and brain types, that randomly included a lot of questions about autism. The study really bothered me because the criteria for autism was "low empathy". And I did score freakishly low for empathy in the study.
The stereotype of autistic people lacking empathy was particularly painful for me growing up in the eighties and suspecting some kind of neurodivergence. I was intensely aware I couldn't read people's faces, and I couldn't intuit how other people were feeling. The idea that I had "no empathy" was haunting, but it also felt very true.
But I am older now, and this study doesn't make me feel shame, it makes me feel angry.
If you measure empathy by intuitive feels and vibes, I think many autistic people might score low. But that's not all of empathy. In fact, I don't know if that really is empathy. A lot of it is just speculation. How often are feelings misread, or we feel we are sustaining a mask and other people do not know our internal state?
And society is full of people with strong intuitive empathy who act in a cruel way to strangers and "others".
There's more to empathy than just an (often illusory) emotional resonance. Empathy is also cognitive - understanding other people through logic and ethical systems. And it is also a practice - empathy is also something you do, not just how you read a face. I believe I score just fine on those.
Fuck you, Cambridge University.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic my work just posted revised accommodation process language including this gem:
"To review your accommodation request, we’ll need information from a qualified health care provider—unless your disability and related work restrictions are obvious.”
glad to know that THIS is why demanding invasive medical documentation, which isn't a legal requirement under the ADA, is needed
nostalgia for the ‘60s
missing the music
and the flowers
the big dreams
and the hope
and all those
Kennedy is dead headlines
.
funny the things you miss
#ActuallyAutistic @autistics
RE: https://mstdn.social/@GayDeceiver/116013210704544205
not joking here, this happens to autistic people all. the. time.
accused of not being a "real person".
RE: https://mas.to/@SmudgeTheInsultCat/116027606935788866
either the cat is autistic or i am a cat
@autistics #actuallyautistic
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic make every day of persevering a personal act of rebellion
my brain feels like gabor maté’s face 😠🫣
.
#ActuallyAutistic @autistics
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 832 , Friday 06/02/2026
Friday started at around 7:15 despite my most earnest efforts to sleep longer!
It’s been another cold & utterly dreary day.
After breakfast chores were committed.
I was due to go & help Mrs S with another tidying session but it seems my aid was not required.
Thus released I headed back into medieval Bohemia!
Pizza for tea tonight, it had mushroom, sweetcorn & peppers on it (as well as other more meaty toppings) so it was, to all intents & purposes, health food! 😜
Final Thoughts.
I’ve been slowly, ever so slowly, working on decorating the box room post Router move last year.
I’m doing a little bit each day in the faint hope that I might get it done by next Christmas.
I would be more enthused about doing it if I didn’t have to clear up after everyone else all the time. Hey ho.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this rings extremely true for me…
…i have been “the gift” to a succession of managers for the last 7 years
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 834 , Sunday 08/02/2026
Sunday started just before 8am
Today has been just another day.
The high point was hearing from my niece that she is enjoying her birthday. We are going over next weekend for a family do as her mum has a birthday this month too.
Final Thoughts.
Just another day in paradise.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
We're getting a few new followers here now that #OnlineAutscape2026 has passed -- welcome all!
For those of you who just created your account, you should know there are no Big Tech algorithms here making your choices for you. So, to make your experience here interesting, you have to follow some interesting accounts first.
Here are some other good accounts to follow:
@FediTips – for tips on how it all works
@amase – Autistic Mutual Aid Society Edinburgh
@AutisticInnovator - The Autistic Innovator
@autistics – group account for conversation between autistics (just tag this account to get your post boosted to the group's followers)
To find more, check the "followed" list of people you find interesting.
Does anyone have any other recommendations for good autistic-run or autistic-led accounts? Please reply here!
but seriously, I need to stop talking. It’s like trying to explain to a bear why it shouldn’t be a bear, isn’t it 😠
.
#ND #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @autistics
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 905 , Monday 20/04/2026
TL:DR
Did another gym session today, was going to go early but after I had got breakfast & sorted out the urgent chores it ended up being closer to 9:30 rather than 7:30.
When I got there I was reminded that they do breakfast!
So maybe when I go again (possibly Wednesday) I might aim to get there for 7am & have breakfast there.
Might need to experiment with what level of weights are good for me, I think I pushed a little too hard today. Slow & steady wins the race / avoids the heart attack!
I need to get a handle on the workout app on my watch too.
There’s something going on with my right knee though, no real pain but a feeling of weakness when going up the stairs.
This morning’s mega coffee has had to be cancelled, I had a much smaller mug of tea with breakkie because the coffee has a … lets call it a loosening effect, on my digestive system. What with going to the dentist later there was no chance to catch up.
Still there is always afternoon coffee to look fwd to!
Spent the afternoon watching ‘A Quiet Place:Day One’ which was more like a computer game than a movie, but good enuf.
Then hit the PS5 & played Elite Dangerous for a while.
Chicken kievs for tea, with strawberries & ice cream for pudding! \
All very nice!
Final Thoughts.
Really impressed with myself today, although I suspect that I will need a quiet day tomorrow!
Pleased that I got to the gym again! I actually remembered to log my weight this morning, I need something to use as a yardstick!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
I just had an idea that I want to run by the neurodivergent community as a possible way that some of us might be able to help each other. I have no idea if anyone would be interested in trying it, or even if it would work, so I want to know what others think.
If you want, you can skip down to "The Idea" below, or you can bare with me for a tiny bit of background first for some context.
So like many of us I have executive function issues. For me, when I get a new interest, I hyperfocus on it for a couple of weeks or months, and then I stop. Not because I lose interest in it, it's more like running out of gas while still on the road: you really want to keep going, but the damn thing just won't move. This is not really a problem for most of my interests, but for certain projects, it can leave them unfinished, which really frustrates me.
So far the only thing that I've found that can give me energy to continue a project is engagement. If I can find someone to talk to about it, that helps. If they talk with me about it, that helps more. If they actually work with me on the project (assuming that it's the kind of project that someone can help with), that helps the most. The trouble of course has been finding people who are also interested in the same thing(s), thus this pretty much never happens for me.
But now I recall some people in the autistic/ND community saying that they actually like listening to other people info-dump about their special interest(s). So this got me thinking...
The Idea:
Basically this shares some traits with body doubling and mutual aid. If someone like me needs engagement to work on a project (or maybe even just share an interest for the sake of some social contact), and someone else would be interested in helping out this way, the second person would be like their interest-buddy (hopefully a better name will be found). Kind of like how some people help others by body-doubling, except this will be with talking or maybe even participating instead of presence. And like body doubling, it can be a one time thing, an ongoing arrangement of some kind, whatever the two (or more?) people agree on. But unlike body doubling, it can be done (well more easily anyway) over the internet. Social media posts, DMs, chats, voice, whatever. Of course discovery would an issue, but no different than for body doubling or mutual aid, so I'll leave that issue.
So how about it? Is there any merit to this? Any use? Any interest? (And I mean in general, not just for me.)
#ActuallyAutistic @autistics #ActuallyADHD #neurodivergent #AuDHD #ADHD
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic sometimes hard to remember these days…
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 833 , Saturday 07/02/2026
Saturday started at around 07:30 after a disturbed night, mostly my own fault. I stayed up until nearly 1am gaming, I know that if I go to bed that late I don’t sleep. I also forgot to double check that the timer on the washing machine had been set right. It bangs the pipes when it opens & shuts the inlet valve so I have to make sure that it starts around 4am when I’m deeply asleep but also gives the cycle time to finish before 7am when the Economy 7 tariff flips over to the day rate.
Mrs S is …. overly cautious & is far enough away from the pipe work that it doesn’t disturb her sleep so she sets the cycle to start at around 2am. This also means that the wet washing is in the machine for 2 extra hours. It’s usually one of my mitigation routines to check the start time of the wash cycle but sometimes I forget. My bad.
Did my chores then had a couple of hours on the PS5.
Caught up on Mrs S’s shows this afternoon then watched Denzel Washington in ‘Safe House’ while we had a chinese takeaway for tea.
Final Thoughts.
I spend far too much time on ‘mitigation’ but it’s how I stay vaguely sane.
Sometimes it uses up all my available spoons.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
I've spent a lifetime making myself smaller for everyone.
Making myself the version of me that was most useful and comfortable for everyone around me.
And I *HAVE* to stop before I disappear.
I wrote about learning to TAKE UP SPACE: https://fromemily.com/space-taking-defiance/
Maybe you've made yourself smaller too? Let's TAKE UP SPACE together.
@actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #mentalhealth #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #writing #FromEmily #SmallWeb #writersofmastodon
You weren’t “high-functioning.”
You were masking.
You weren’t “coping.”
You were dissociating.
You weren’t “fine.”
You were in burnout.
They praised your performance.
But never saw the cost.
You deserved care.
Not applause.
@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic just received an Adobe form from the “socially acccetable" senior admin…
…and to say it was poorly set up would be an understatement...
…form fields are not sized properly, text font and size are all over the place...
…but worst of all, it’s not password protected…
…now i do this sort of stuff A LOT for my job…
…but this autistic won't dare offer feedback to the “socially acceptable” one…
…been there, done that, not doing that again, thank you
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 980 , Saturday 04/07/2026
Saturday started really quite late, the late nights & early mornings catching up with me & I managed to sleep thru to the alarm at 8am!
Breakfast & chores were followed by a morning exploring Altair II.
We caught up on a few of Mrs S’s shows this afternoon & then had a dose of Tom Hanks in ‘The News of the World’ a most satisfying feel good movie based in the ‘Wild West’.
A fried chicken style takeaway for tea!
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day at all.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
🇨🇦
![Avatar for Emily Moran Barwick [archived]](/proxy/identity_icon/280779823553852866/0ce5ffc456.png){kind=icon}
