After growing up poor in Salmonella, Vincenzo Cortino installs himself as the preeminent, if bumbling, Mafia don of the New World. But now he must pass on power to one of his two sons: either level-headed veteran Anthony or vituperative loose cannon Joey.

The owner of an Italian natural food company has a heart attack and asks his son, Bernardo, to find the man who saved his life in World War II and bring him to his deathbed. He does so and finds the man in a sanitarium and must deal with his hijinks all the way back to Milan.

When Rudy, an artifacts smuggler, goes to Jerusalem to rescue his kidnapped archeologist father, he faces deportation by a scheming police chief. Now, to find his dad and recover a sacred scroll, he'll have to outwit officials and a ruthless sect. With the help of a beautiful Israeli cop, Rudy battles a faction of religious zealots determined to see a holy war at all costs.