Yesterday was the first day of work after my holiday break. The break was really needed and hit the spot. After the work day, I thought that I was quite efficient already for the first day. Then I stopped my thinking. That's internalized ableism talking, isn't it?!
Discussed this with my spouse at home. She reminded me that the idea of work is to "be efficient", to get tasks done. While I agreed -- and not going to whatever efficiency means and whether an autistic (or any!) person can be efficient on a given day -- I said that where I went wrong was with the judgment of how efficient I was. This is quite usual for me. Now, I said, I should just do the tasks I do and not think about efficiency as such.
I instantly saw a parallel with Zen Buddhist thinking. One should be and do without judgment. Let's see if I can start bringing this thinking to my work. Dismantling internalized ableism bit by bit.
#ActuallyAutistic #InternalizedAbleism #ZenBuddhism @autistics