#xkcd No. 3255
Date: 2026-6-5
Title: Planetary Science
Alt text: The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, which is what I named my surfboard.
https://xkcd.com/3255/
xkcd
![Description:
A mock science paper showing photos of an ocean shore, and Megan and Cueball on a beach.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A document formatted to look like a two-column scientific paper, containing squiggly lines to simulate body text and two drawn image figures.]
EVIDENCE FOR LIQUID WATER ON THE SURFACE OF A TERRESTRIAL PLANET IN THE HABITABLE ZONE
[The first figure, on the bottom left, is a drawing of an ocean meeting a sandy shoreline. The second figure, on the middle right, shows Megan and Cueball sitting under a beach umbrella while two small figures play in the sand in the background.]
[Caption below the panel:]
PLANETARY SCIENCE JOURNALS HAVE ASKED ASTRONOMERS TO PLEASE STOP SUBMITTING THEIR VACATION PHOTOS.](/proxy/post_attachment/1086594/81e2a40585.png "Description:
A mock science paper showing photos of an ocean shore, and Megan and Cueball on a beach.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A document formatted to look like a two-column scientific paper, containing squiggly lines to simulate body text and two drawn image figures.]
EVIDENCE FOR LIQUID WATER ON THE SURFACE OF A TERRESTRIAL PLANET IN THE HABITABLE ZONE
[The first figure, on the bottom left, is a drawing of an ocean meeting a sandy shoreline. The second figure, on the middle right, shows Megan and Cueball sitting under a beach umbrella while two small figures play in the sand in the background.]
[Caption below the panel:]
PLANETARY SCIENCE JOURNALS HAVE ASKED ASTRONOMERS TO PLEASE STOP SUBMITTING THEIR VACATION PHOTOS.")
#xkcd No. 3246
Date: 2026-5-15
Title: Speedrun
Alt text: Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.
https://xkcd.com/3246/
#xkcd No. 3258
Date: 2026-6-12
Title: Plate Flip
Alt text: It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.
https://xkcd.com/3258/
![Description:
Ponytail and Cueball talk across four panels. In panel two, they are drawn tiny on a horizon.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Ponytail: THESE TECTONIC PLATES LOOK PRETTY ERODED. WHEN DID YOU LAST FLIP THEM?
Cueball: FLIP THEM?
Panel 2:
[Ponytail and Cueball are drawn much smaller, standing far away on a flat horizon line.]
Ponytail: YEAH, TO USE THE UNDERSIDE OF THE CONTINENT.
Cueball: ...NEVER?
Ponytail: WOW. EXPLAINS THE EONS OF WEATHERING, DEBRIS BASINS, AND... IS THIS ISOSTATIC DEPRESSION?
Cueball: IT'S REBOUNDING!
Panel 3:
Ponytail: YOU SHOULD REALLY FLIP IT. YOU'LL GET A WHOLE NEW LANDSCAPE!
Cueball: BUT I LIKE *THIS* LANDSCAPE!
Panel 4:
Ponytail: JUST THINK HOW WARM AND FRESH THE OTHER SIDE WILL FEEL.
Cueball: A SEA OF MOLTEN ROCK?
Ponytail: GOOD FOR THE FEET. HELPS EXFOLIATE.](/proxy/post_attachment/1093370/ff9aee5422.png "Description:
Ponytail and Cueball talk across four panels. In panel two, they are drawn tiny on a horizon.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Ponytail: THESE TECTONIC PLATES LOOK PRETTY ERODED. WHEN DID YOU LAST FLIP THEM?
Cueball: FLIP THEM?
Panel 2:
[Ponytail and Cueball are drawn much smaller, standing far away on a flat horizon line.]
Ponytail: YEAH, TO USE THE UNDERSIDE OF THE CONTINENT.
Cueball: ...NEVER?
Ponytail: WOW. EXPLAINS THE EONS OF WEATHERING, DEBRIS BASINS, AND... IS THIS ISOSTATIC DEPRESSION?
Cueball: IT'S REBOUNDING!
Panel 3:
Ponytail: YOU SHOULD REALLY FLIP IT. YOU'LL GET A WHOLE NEW LANDSCAPE!
Cueball: BUT I LIKE *THIS* LANDSCAPE!
Panel 4:
Ponytail: JUST THINK HOW WARM AND FRESH THE OTHER SIDE WILL FEEL.
Cueball: A SEA OF MOLTEN ROCK?
Ponytail: GOOD FOR THE FEET. HELPS EXFOLIATE.")
#xkcd No. 3261
Date: 2026-6-19
Title: Side Effect
Alt text: Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
https://xkcd.com/3261/
![Description:
Ponytail watches as Beret Guy stretches vertically, squishes horizontally, then returns to normal.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Beret Guy: THIS NEW TOPICAL MEDICATION MAKES ME EXTRA SENSITIVE TO SUN EXPOSURE AND GRAVITATIONAL WAVES.
Panel 2:
Ponytail: OH YEAH, THAT'S A COMMON...WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART?
Beret Guy: HERE COMES ONE NOW!
Panel 3:
[Beret Guy's body is stretched vertically, making him appear extraordinarily tall and thin.]
Panel 4:
[Beret Guy's body is squished horizontally, making him appear very short and wide.]
Panel 5:
[Beret Guy's body returns to its normal proportions.]
Beret Guy: WHEEE!](/proxy/post_attachment/1099162/29f357f738.png "Description:
Ponytail watches as Beret Guy stretches vertically, squishes horizontally, then returns to normal.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Beret Guy: THIS NEW TOPICAL MEDICATION MAKES ME EXTRA SENSITIVE TO SUN EXPOSURE AND GRAVITATIONAL WAVES.
Panel 2:
Ponytail: OH YEAH, THAT'S A COMMON...WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART?
Beret Guy: HERE COMES ONE NOW!
Panel 3:
[Beret Guy's body is stretched vertically, making him appear extraordinarily tall and thin.]
Panel 4:
[Beret Guy's body is squished horizontally, making him appear very short and wide.]
Panel 5:
[Beret Guy's body returns to its normal proportions.]
Beret Guy: WHEEE!")
#xkcd No. 3262
Date: 2026-6-22
Title: Sports Commentary
Alt text: The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.
https://xkcd.com/3262/
![Description:
Cueball and Ponytail sit at a table watching a soccer match on a wall screen. Cueball speaks.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Cueball: THEY COULD BE IN TROUBLE. OVER THE LAST 36 YEARS, THEY'VE GONE 0 FOR 2 WHEN THEY'VE SCORED IN THE 37TH MINUTE TO LEAD 2-1 AGAINST A TEAM WHOSE COUNTRY COMES BEFORE THEIRS ALPHABETICALLY.
[Caption below the panel:]
I WISH SPORTS COMMENTATORS HADN'T DISCOVERED P-HACKING.](/proxy/post_attachment/1101979/60b59fa942.png "Description:
Cueball and Ponytail sit at a table watching a soccer match on a wall screen. Cueball speaks.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Cueball: THEY COULD BE IN TROUBLE. OVER THE LAST 36 YEARS, THEY'VE GONE 0 FOR 2 WHEN THEY'VE SCORED IN THE 37TH MINUTE TO LEAD 2-1 AGAINST A TEAM WHOSE COUNTRY COMES BEFORE THEIRS ALPHABETICALLY.
[Caption below the panel:]
I WISH SPORTS COMMENTATORS HADN'T DISCOVERED P-HACKING.")
#xkcd No. 3252
Date: 2026-5-29
Title: Ancestral Genomes
Alt text: SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.
https://xkcd.com/3252/
#xkcd No. 3264
Date: 2026-6-26
Title: 720 Ollie
Alt text: This discovery was key to his demonstration of regular/goofy symmetry violation, which won him gold in the theory portion of the X Games.
https://xkcd.com/3264/
#xkcd No. 3263
Date: 2026-6-24
Title: Baryon Asymmetry
Alt text: Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?
https://xkcd.com/3263/
![Description:
Four panels show Cueball talking to a small, radiating black dot, ending in a massive explosion.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Cueball: So you're the creator of the universe?
Black Dot: That's me!
Black Dot: So, got any questions?
Panel 2:
Cueball: Oh man, so many.
Cueball: What's the reason for baryon asymmetry?
Cueball: Why is most of the universe matter and not antimatter?
Panel 3:
Black Dot: Crap. Did I forget the antimatter?
Black Dot: One sec, let me just...
Panel 4:
[A giant explosion fills the entire panel, with several smaller starbursts scattered around the edges.]
BOOM](/proxy/post_attachment/1103519/6955cf8d85.png "Description:
Four panels show Cueball talking to a small, radiating black dot, ending in a massive explosion.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Cueball: So you're the creator of the universe?
Black Dot: That's me!
Black Dot: So, got any questions?
Panel 2:
Cueball: Oh man, so many.
Cueball: What's the reason for baryon asymmetry?
Cueball: Why is most of the universe matter and not antimatter?
Panel 3:
Black Dot: Crap. Did I forget the antimatter?
Black Dot: One sec, let me just...
Panel 4:
[A giant explosion fills the entire panel, with several smaller starbursts scattered around the edges.]
BOOM")
#xkcd No. 3254
Date: 2026-6-3
Title: Detector
Alt text: No other experiment has a lower false negative rate.
https://xkcd.com/3254/
![Description:
Cueball, Ponytail, and Hairy stand around a glowing detector machine in a four-panel comic strip.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Hairy: OVER THERE ARE OUR ELECTRON MICROSCOPE, XRF SCANNER, AND MASS SPECTROMETER. AND THIS IS OUR MOST SENSITIVE DETECTOR.
Cueball: WHAT DOES IT DETECT?
[Text on the machine reads "DETECTOR", with a glowing green light next to "DETECTED" and a dark light next to "NOT DETECTED".]
Panel 2:
[A close-up of the detector machine with the green "DETECTED" light glowing.]
Hairy (off-panel): LOTS OF STUFF. GAS, DUST, PARTICLES, LIGHT, RADIO WAVES, GAMMA RAYS, PROTONS, NEUTRONS, ELECTRONS, FIELDS, FORCES, EVENTS, POTENTIALS, OR STATES.
[Text on machine: DETECTOR, DETECTED, NOT DETECTED]
Panel 3:
Cueball: I DON'T UNDERSTAND. AREN'T MOST OF THOSE ALWAYS PRESENT?
Hairy: YEAH, IT'S BEEN SAYING "DETECTED" CONTINUOUSLY SINCE WE TURNED IT ON.
Panel 4:
Cueball: WHAT HAPPENS IF IT SAYS "NOT DETECTED"?
Hairy: OH GOSH.
Hairy: THAT WOULD BE PRETTY BAD, I THINK.](/proxy/post_attachment/1085115/a591c54f08.png "Description:
Cueball, Ponytail, and Hairy stand around a glowing detector machine in a four-panel comic strip.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Hairy: OVER THERE ARE OUR ELECTRON MICROSCOPE, XRF SCANNER, AND MASS SPECTROMETER. AND THIS IS OUR MOST SENSITIVE DETECTOR.
Cueball: WHAT DOES IT DETECT?
[Text on the machine reads \"DETECTOR\", with a glowing green light next to \"DETECTED\" and a dark light next to \"NOT DETECTED\".]
Panel 2:
[A close-up of the detector machine with the green \"DETECTED\" light glowing.]
Hairy (off-panel): LOTS OF STUFF. GAS, DUST, PARTICLES, LIGHT, RADIO WAVES, GAMMA RAYS, PROTONS, NEUTRONS, ELECTRONS, FIELDS, FORCES, EVENTS, POTENTIALS, OR STATES.
[Text on machine: DETECTOR, DETECTED, NOT DETECTED]
Panel 3:
Cueball: I DON'T UNDERSTAND. AREN'T MOST OF THOSE ALWAYS PRESENT?
Hairy: YEAH, IT'S BEEN SAYING \"DETECTED\" CONTINUOUSLY SINCE WE TURNED IT ON.
Panel 4:
Cueball: WHAT HAPPENS IF IT SAYS \"NOT DETECTED\"?
Hairy: OH GOSH.
Hairy: THAT WOULD BE PRETTY BAD, I THINK.")
#xkcd No. 3266
Date: 2026-7-1
Title: Holes
Alt text: If you're thinking 'Wait, a giant crystal cave in Mexico? What's that?' then I'm SO excited for the image search you're about to do.
https://xkcd.com/3266/
![Description: Diagram comparing depths of notable natural and man-made holes relative to sea level.
Transcript:
Title: HOLES
[Subtitle]: ELEVATION IS TO SCALE RELATIVE TO SEA LEVEL AND GROUND LEVEL. LAND SHAPES AND HORIZONTAL DISTANCES ARE NOT TO SCALE.
[Scale]: The left Y-axis marks elevation in 1000-meter increments from +4000 to -12,000 METERS. A line marks SEA LEVEL at 0.
[Summary]: Due to length limits, the dozens of plotted structures are summarized by depth along the cross-section of earth and ocean.
Above Sea Level: Bingham Canyon Mine, Derinkugu Underground City, Jinping Laboratory, and mountain bunkers (Gran Sasso, Modane, Cheyenne).
0m to -3000m: Veryovkina Cave, Giant Crystal Cave, Sanford Lab, Woodingdean Water Well, SNOLAB, Super-Kamiokande, and Lake Baikal. Tiny stick figures saying "oops" are trapped in small pockets beneath the Restof Salt Mine, Woodingdean, and Pantai Remis Mine.
Deepest Points: Mponeng Gold Mine and several ocean floor boreholes.
The lowest labels at the bottom right read:
- Kola Superdeep Borehole, Russia: Deepest artificial point below surface (-11917m)
- Deepwater Horizon Borehole, Gulf of Mexico: Deepest artificial point below sea level (-11944m)
- Mariana Trench, Pacific Ocean (extending past -11,000m)](/proxy/post_attachment/1110375/35fe9ed0e1.png "Description: Diagram comparing depths of notable natural and man-made holes relative to sea level.
Transcript:
Title: HOLES
[Subtitle]: ELEVATION IS TO SCALE RELATIVE TO SEA LEVEL AND GROUND LEVEL. LAND SHAPES AND HORIZONTAL DISTANCES ARE NOT TO SCALE.
[Scale]: The left Y-axis marks elevation in 1000-meter increments from +4000 to -12,000 METERS. A line marks SEA LEVEL at 0.
[Summary]: Due to length limits, the dozens of plotted structures are summarized by depth along the cross-section of earth and ocean.
Above Sea Level: Bingham Canyon Mine, Derinkugu Underground City, Jinping Laboratory, and mountain bunkers (Gran Sasso, Modane, Cheyenne).
0m to -3000m: Veryovkina Cave, Giant Crystal Cave, Sanford Lab, Woodingdean Water Well, SNOLAB, Super-Kamiokande, and Lake Baikal. Tiny stick figures saying \"oops\" are trapped in small pockets beneath the Restof Salt Mine, Woodingdean, and Pantai Remis Mine.
Deepest Points: Mponeng Gold Mine and several ocean floor boreholes.
The lowest labels at the bottom right read:
- Kola Superdeep Borehole, Russia: Deepest artificial point below surface (-11917m)
- Deepwater Horizon Borehole, Gulf of Mexico: Deepest artificial point below sea level (-11944m)
- Mariana Trench, Pacific Ocean (extending past -11,000m)")
#xkcd No. 3256
Date: 2026-6-8
Title: Nostalgia Content
Alt text: Gen-Z got a chunk of the Carboniferous, and now all their memes are about how pathetic and small today's dragonflies are.
https://xkcd.com/3256/
![Description:
Cueball stands among floating pogs, a Tamagotchi, and a towering ancient fungus on mossy ground.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[Cueball stands in a mossy field with his arms outstretched. To his left float several Pogs and a Tamagotchi. To his right stands a massive, towering ancient fungus.]
Cueball: WHO ELSE REMEMBERS POGS? TAMAGOTCHIS? VAST FORESTS OF PARATAXITES TOWERING OVER THE MOSSY LANDSCAPE AS ARMORED FISH STIR IN THE DEEP?
Caption: DUE TO A DATABASE ERROR, MILLENNIAL NOSTALGIA NOW INCLUDES A PORTION OF THE EARLY DEVONIAN.](/proxy/post_attachment/1090142/71164b10e9.png "Description:
Cueball stands among floating pogs, a Tamagotchi, and a towering ancient fungus on mossy ground.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[Cueball stands in a mossy field with his arms outstretched. To his left float several Pogs and a Tamagotchi. To his right stands a massive, towering ancient fungus.]
Cueball: WHO ELSE REMEMBERS POGS? TAMAGOTCHIS? VAST FORESTS OF PARATAXITES TOWERING OVER THE MOSSY LANDSCAPE AS ARMORED FISH STIR IN THE DEEP?
Caption: DUE TO A DATABASE ERROR, MILLENNIAL NOSTALGIA NOW INCLUDES A PORTION OF THE EARLY DEVONIAN.")
#xkcd No. 3265
Date: 2026-6-29
Title: Asteroid Threat
Alt text: Paleontologists have long worried that the dinosaurs blasted into space 66 million years ago will one day complete their orbits and fall back down.
https://xkcd.com/3265/
![Description:
Two Earth globes: a small one with a dashed line, and a large one with a crosshair in the ocean.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A panel showing two globes. The smaller globe shows a dashed line intersecting the Yucatan Peninsula. The larger globe shows a crosshair targeting the Indian Ocean.]
DIRE NEWS: AN ASTEROID IS ON COURSE TO HIT THE EARTH EXACTLY *OPPOSITE* THE YUCATÁN PENINSULA, BRINGING *BACK* THE DINOSAURS.](/proxy/post_attachment/1108282/fcc2d52cbc.png "Description:
Two Earth globes: a small one with a dashed line, and a large one with a crosshair in the ocean.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A panel showing two globes. The smaller globe shows a dashed line intersecting the Yucatan Peninsula. The larger globe shows a crosshair targeting the Indian Ocean.]
DIRE NEWS: AN ASTEROID IS ON COURSE TO HIT THE EARTH EXACTLY *OPPOSITE* THE YUCATÁN PENINSULA, BRINGING *BACK* THE DINOSAURS.")
#xkcd No. 3257
Date: 2026-6-10
Title: Beam Pipe
Alt text: 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
https://xkcd.com/3257/
![Description:
Cueball watches Megan on a ladder block a massive machine's central pipe with her thumb.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[Megan stands on a stepladder, reaching out to cover the end of a protruding pipe on a massive, complex cylindrical machine with her thumb. Cueball watches her from the ground.]
THIS YEAR'S PHYSICS NOBEL WILL GO TO THE SCIENTISTS WHO FIGURED OUT THAT YOU COULD MAKE THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER MORE POWERFUL BY COVERING PART OF THE BEAM PIPE WITH YOUR THUMB.](/proxy/post_attachment/1091740/d4437ccb9e.png "Description:
Cueball watches Megan on a ladder block a massive machine's central pipe with her thumb.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[Megan stands on a stepladder, reaching out to cover the end of a protruding pipe on a massive, complex cylindrical machine with her thumb. Cueball watches her from the ground.]
THIS YEAR'S PHYSICS NOBEL WILL GO TO THE SCIENTISTS WHO FIGURED OUT THAT YOU COULD MAKE THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER MORE POWERFUL BY COVERING PART OF THE BEAM PIPE WITH YOUR THUMB.")
#xkcd No. 3267
Date: 2026-7-3
Title: Types of Tornado Alert
Alt text: I hate the unearthly sound my phone makes when the weather service issues a tornado harbinger.
https://xkcd.com/3267/
![Description:
8 panels show Cueball & Hairbun acting out increasingly vague tornado alerts with weather symbols.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[Silhouette of a tornado, house, and tree.]
TORNADO WARNING
A TORNADO HAS BEEN DETECTED; TAKE SHELTER
Panel 2:
[Hairbun and Cueball look at a weather map.]
TORNADO WATCH
CONDITIONS ARE FAVORABLE FOR TORNADOES TO FORM
Panel 3:
[Cueball stands neutrally.]
TORNADO PRECAUTION
TORNADOES HAPPEN SOMETIMES, SO BE READY
Panel 4:
[Cueball rubs his chin thoughtfully.]
TORNADO INKLING
NO TORNADOES YET, BUT WE HAVE A FEELING
Panel 5:
[Cueball looks at odd clouds on the horizon.]
TORNADO SUSPICION
WEIRD CLOUDS HAVE BEEN OBSERVED
Panel 6:
[Cueball stands near a dead tree with ravens and a skull.]
TORNADO PREMONITION
TORNADO PORTENTS AND OMENS HAVE BEEN OBSERVED
Panel 7:
[Cueball envisions a tornado in a thought bubble.]
TORNADO RECOLLECTION
TORNADOES HAVE OCCURRED IN THE PAST
Panel 8:
[Cueball sits on a block.]
TORNADO CONTEMPLATION
Cueball: WOW.
TORNADOES ARE VERY BIG AND POWERFUL](/proxy/post_attachment/1112171/b8122c3c01.png "Description:
8 panels show Cueball & Hairbun acting out increasingly vague tornado alerts with weather symbols.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[Silhouette of a tornado, house, and tree.]
TORNADO WARNING
A TORNADO HAS BEEN DETECTED; TAKE SHELTER
Panel 2:
[Hairbun and Cueball look at a weather map.]
TORNADO WATCH
CONDITIONS ARE FAVORABLE FOR TORNADOES TO FORM
Panel 3:
[Cueball stands neutrally.]
TORNADO PRECAUTION
TORNADOES HAPPEN SOMETIMES, SO BE READY
Panel 4:
[Cueball rubs his chin thoughtfully.]
TORNADO INKLING
NO TORNADOES YET, BUT WE HAVE A FEELING
Panel 5:
[Cueball looks at odd clouds on the horizon.]
TORNADO SUSPICION
WEIRD CLOUDS HAVE BEEN OBSERVED
Panel 6:
[Cueball stands near a dead tree with ravens and a skull.]
TORNADO PREMONITION
TORNADO PORTENTS AND OMENS HAVE BEEN OBSERVED
Panel 7:
[Cueball envisions a tornado in a thought bubble.]
TORNADO RECOLLECTION
TORNADOES HAVE OCCURRED IN THE PAST
Panel 8:
[Cueball sits on a block.]
TORNADO CONTEMPLATION
Cueball: WOW.
TORNADOES ARE VERY BIG AND POWERFUL")
#xkcd No. 3259
Date: 2026-6-15
Title: Tethys
Alt text: In order to carry the necessary crafting supplies, they built the ships at 12:1 scale.
https://xkcd.com/3259/
![Description:
A fleet of spaceships carrying tied bales flies past Saturn toward a cratered moon.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A line of cargo spaceships carrying large bales flies past a ringed planet toward a cratered moon.]
AFTER LEARNING THAT TETHYS IS EXACTLY 1/12TH THE SIZE OF EARTH, THE MINIATURE ART MODEL BUILDERS LAUNCHED A FLEET OF SHIPS TO BEGIN THEIR FINAL, GREATEST PROJECT.](/proxy/post_attachment/1095803/0002850a77.png "Description:
A fleet of spaceships carrying tied bales flies past Saturn toward a cratered moon.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A line of cargo spaceships carrying large bales flies past a ringed planet toward a cratered moon.]
AFTER LEARNING THAT TETHYS IS EXACTLY 1/12TH THE SIZE OF EARTH, THE MINIATURE ART MODEL BUILDERS LAUNCHED A FLEET OF SHIPS TO BEGIN THEIR FINAL, GREATEST PROJECT.")
#xkcd No. 3271
Date: 2026-7-13
Title: The Princess and the Pea
Alt text: Once we've fully explored this space, we can start varying the number of princesses.
https://xkcd.com/3271/
![Description:
Hairbun sits on beds across a spectrum from a giant mattress mountain to a giant pea mountain.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A horizontal axis spans the top of the panel with tick marks.]
Left end: <- MANY MATTRESSES PER PEA
Center: 1:1 MATTRESS-TO-PEA RATIO
Right end: MANY PEAS PER MATTRESS ->
[Below the axis are five illustrations from left to right, each showing Hairbun in a pink dress.]
[Illustration 1: Hairbun sits atop a vast, landscape-sized mountain of mattresses. An arrow points to a tiny green pea at the very bottom.]
[Illustration 2: Hairbun sits on a tall, wobbly stack of mattresses with a pea at the bottom. This image is enclosed in a drawn circle. Text and an arrow point to it:]
EXISTING HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN STORY
[Illustration 3: Hairbun sits on a standard bed with a single mattress and one pea underneath.]
[Illustration 4: Hairbun sits on a bed holding a bowl full of peas, eating one.]
[Illustration 5: Hairbun sits on a single mattress that is resting atop a massive, landscape-sized mountain of peas.]
[Text at the bottom of the panel has four long arrows curving up to point at illustrations 1, 3, 4, and 5:]
POTENTIAL SEQUELS/REBOOTS](/proxy/post_attachment/1124960/f07e76b9a3.png "Description:
Hairbun sits on beds across a spectrum from a giant mattress mountain to a giant pea mountain.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A horizontal axis spans the top of the panel with tick marks.]
Left end: <- MANY MATTRESSES PER PEA
Center: 1:1 MATTRESS-TO-PEA RATIO
Right end: MANY PEAS PER MATTRESS ->
[Below the axis are five illustrations from left to right, each showing Hairbun in a pink dress.]
[Illustration 1: Hairbun sits atop a vast, landscape-sized mountain of mattresses. An arrow points to a tiny green pea at the very bottom.]
[Illustration 2: Hairbun sits on a tall, wobbly stack of mattresses with a pea at the bottom. This image is enclosed in a drawn circle. Text and an arrow point to it:]
EXISTING HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN STORY
[Illustration 3: Hairbun sits on a standard bed with a single mattress and one pea underneath.]
[Illustration 4: Hairbun sits on a bed holding a bowl full of peas, eating one.]
[Illustration 5: Hairbun sits on a single mattress that is resting atop a massive, landscape-sized mountain of peas.]
[Text at the bottom of the panel has four long arrows curving up to point at illustrations 1, 3, 4, and 5:]
POTENTIAL SEQUELS/REBOOTS")
#xkcd No. 3272
Date: 2026-7-15
Title: Time Change
Alt text: All discussions of daylight saving time policy are doomed by a mix of contradictory, inconsistent, and impossible preferences, which is why I think the only thing we can really hope to do is to make it worse.
https://xkcd.com/3272/
#xkcd No. 3281
Date: 2026-8-5
Title: Antiques Roadshow
Alt text: The family lore was that we've had it ever since it was ejected from a star-forming gas cloud, but it seems more likely that my great-grandparents probably just bought it while on vacation in the galactic thin disk.
https://xkcd.com/3281/
![Description:
Ponytail appraises a small glowing star on a table for Cueball at an Antiques Roadshow.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A sign at the bottom of the panel reads: AR ANTIQUES ROADSHOW]
Ponytail: NOW, YOUR GRANDMOTHER SAID THIS WAS A RELIC LOW-MASS POPULATION III STAR, FROM THE FIRST GENERATION OF STARS.
Ponytail: UNFORTUNATELY, THE HIGH IRON CONTENT SHOWS THAT IT FORMED MUCH LATER, AFTER SEVERAL ROUNDS OF SUPERNOVAS.
Ponytail: I'M AFRAID IT'S A POPULATION I STAR.
Cueball: AW, DARN. WELL, IT STILL HAS SENTIMENTAL VALUE.](/proxy/post_attachment/1149927/c09498f988.png "Description:
Ponytail appraises a small glowing star on a table for Cueball at an Antiques Roadshow.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A sign at the bottom of the panel reads: AR ANTIQUES ROADSHOW]
Ponytail: NOW, YOUR GRANDMOTHER SAID THIS WAS A RELIC LOW-MASS POPULATION III STAR, FROM THE FIRST GENERATION OF STARS.
Ponytail: UNFORTUNATELY, THE HIGH IRON CONTENT SHOWS THAT IT FORMED MUCH LATER, AFTER SEVERAL ROUNDS OF SUPERNOVAS.
Ponytail: I'M AFRAID IT'S A POPULATION I STAR.
Cueball: AW, DARN. WELL, IT STILL HAS SENTIMENTAL VALUE.")
#xkcd No. 3269
Date: 2026-7-8
Title: Airport Meeting
Alt text: Although it was a setback for physics, I'm glad the particle naming rights issue led to the cancelation of Pizza Hut's Superconducting Super Collider in the early 90s, so the Double Stuffed Extra Cheese Topping Quark ended up just being named 'top quark.'
https://xkcd.com/3269/
![Description:
Cueball and Ponytail talk with luggage, then walk apart. A book floats over a sports car.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Cueball: I DO RESTAURANT ANALYSIS FOR A BEVERAGE COMPANY.
Ponytail: NEAT! I WORK IN THE AUTOMOTIVE INDUSTRY, DEVELOPING PARTS FOR SPECIALIZED VEHICLES.
Panel 2:
Cueball: OH, MY FLIGHT IS BOARDING. IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU!
Ponytail: YOU TOO!
Panel 3:
[Cueball and Ponytail walk away from each other in opposite directions, carrying their luggage.]
Panel 4:
[Boxed text at the top]: YEARS LATER:
[Text on a large, thick black book with a star icon]: MICHELIN TIRE COMPANY / STAR RESTAURANT GUIDE
[Text on the side of a sleek sports car]: RED BULL SUPERCAR](/proxy/post_attachment/1119491/62624efdcf.png "Description:
Cueball and Ponytail talk with luggage, then walk apart. A book floats over a sports car.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
Cueball: I DO RESTAURANT ANALYSIS FOR A BEVERAGE COMPANY.
Ponytail: NEAT! I WORK IN THE AUTOMOTIVE INDUSTRY, DEVELOPING PARTS FOR SPECIALIZED VEHICLES.
Panel 2:
Cueball: OH, MY FLIGHT IS BOARDING. IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU!
Ponytail: YOU TOO!
Panel 3:
[Cueball and Ponytail walk away from each other in opposite directions, carrying their luggage.]
Panel 4:
[Boxed text at the top]: YEARS LATER:
[Text on a large, thick black book with a star icon]: MICHELIN TIRE COMPANY / STAR RESTAURANT GUIDE
[Text on the side of a sleek sports car]: RED BULL SUPERCAR")
#xkcd No. 3268
Date: 2026-7-6
Title: Offside
Alt text: The arbiter gave my knight a red card for capturing with cleats up :(
https://xkcd.com/3268/
![Description:
Chess game in progress. A red dashed line and sports flag mark a white rook near a black king.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A chessboard is shown with various pieces in mid-game. A horizontal red dashed line runs across the top section of the board, ending outside the board on the right with a small red-and-yellow checkered referee flag. A white rook has moved past this dashed line to the top row, sitting next to the black king. The square under the white rook is highlighted in yellow.]
I THOUGHT I HAD CHECKMATE, BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE MY ROOK WAS OFFSIDE.](/proxy/post_attachment/1117838/5aa9b63669.png "Description:
Chess game in progress. A red dashed line and sports flag mark a white rook near a black king.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A chessboard is shown with various pieces in mid-game. A horizontal red dashed line runs across the top section of the board, ending outside the board on the right with a small red-and-yellow checkered referee flag. A white rook has moved past this dashed line to the top row, sitting next to the black king. The square under the white rook is highlighted in yellow.]
I THOUGHT I HAD CHECKMATE, BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE MY ROOK WAS OFFSIDE.")
#xkcd No. 3270
Date: 2026-7-10
Title: Toasting Marshmallows
Alt text: We have two 'in case of fire, break glass' boxes, which you pick between based on how big of a problem the fire is. One has an extinguisher, and one has sticks, marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate.
https://xkcd.com/3270/
#xkcd No. 3297
Date: 2026-9-11
Title: OH Scale
Alt text: To access distant parts of the project, I ended up building a regular-scale passenger train inside each rail.
https://xkcd.com/3297/
![Description:
A tiny house sits beside a colossal, partially constructed circular structure on a massive base.
Transcript:
Panel 1: [A tiny house and trees are dwarfed by a gigantic, partially built circular structure supported by scaffolding on a massive rectangular base.]
Caption: DUE TO A TYPO IN THE PLANS, I'VE BEEN BUILDING AN 87:1 MODEL TRAIN SET IN MY YARD.](/proxy/post_attachment/1181393/1761551ffc.png "Description:
A tiny house sits beside a colossal, partially constructed circular structure on a massive base.
Transcript:
Panel 1: [A tiny house and trees are dwarfed by a gigantic, partially built circular structure supported by scaffolding on a massive rectangular base.]
Caption: DUE TO A TYPO IN THE PLANS, I'VE BEEN BUILDING AN 87:1 MODEL TRAIN SET IN MY YARD.")
#xkcd No. 3273
Date: 2026-7-17
Title: Latitude and Longitude
Alt text: NGS and IERS are complaining that they left CLEAR instructions to set the washing machine to WGS84 (G2296) instead of WGS84 (G730).
https://xkcd.com/3273/
![Description:
Earth's surface bulges outward, constricted tightly by latitude and longitude lines.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[An illustration of the Earth. Its surface is bulging significantly between the latitude and longitude grid lines, making the planet look like a soft object squeezed tightly by netting.]
BAD NEWS: NASA ACCIDENTALLY SHRANK EARTH'S LATITUDE AND LONGITUDE LINES IN THE WASH.](/proxy/post_attachment/1128473/b4d57c8fbb.png "Description:
Earth's surface bulges outward, constricted tightly by latitude and longitude lines.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[An illustration of the Earth. Its surface is bulging significantly between the latitude and longitude grid lines, making the planet look like a soft object squeezed tightly by netting.]
BAD NEWS: NASA ACCIDENTALLY SHRANK EARTH'S LATITUDE AND LONGITUDE LINES IN THE WASH.")
#xkcd No. 3283
Date: 2026-8-10
Title: Size and Lifespan
Alt text: With their 13 years recording and performing together and two humans worth of mass, the White Stripes are sandwiched neatly between gray wolves and blue whales.
https://xkcd.com/3283/
![Description:
A scatter plot graph maps entities' size versus lifespan using colored shapes and a black wedge.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A scatter plot graph with logarithmic axes.]
Y-axis: LIFESPAN (SECONDS). Ticks mark 10^0, 10^5, 10^10, 10^15, and 10^20.
X-axis: SIZE (kg). Ticks mark 10^-20, 10^-10, 10^0, 10^10, 10^20, 10^30, and 10^40.
[Text labels with arrows point to various colored data points plotted across the graph:]
WHITE BLOOD CELLS
YELLOWJACKETS
GRAY WOLVES
BLUE WHALES
BLACK HOLES
RED SEA
GREENLAND
RED DWARFS
BLUE GIANTS](/proxy/post_attachment/1154657/3f118c09ac.png "Description:
A scatter plot graph maps entities' size versus lifespan using colored shapes and a black wedge.
Transcript:
Panel 1:
[A scatter plot graph with logarithmic axes.]
Y-axis: LIFESPAN (SECONDS). Ticks mark 10^0, 10^5, 10^10, 10^15, and 10^20.
X-axis: SIZE (kg). Ticks mark 10^-20, 10^-10, 10^0, 10^10, 10^20, 10^30, and 10^40.
[Text labels with arrows point to various colored data points plotted across the graph:]
WHITE BLOOD CELLS
YELLOWJACKETS
GRAY WOLVES
BLUE WHALES
BLACK HOLES
RED SEA
GREENLAND
RED DWARFS
BLUE GIANTS")
#xkcd No. 3275
Date: 2026-7-22
Title: Calibration Nobel
Alt text: We would like to once again apologize to Dr. Jones for last year's mistaken announcement. We should really have double-checked the envelope for this award in particular.
https://xkcd.com/3275/
