triskaidekaphobia

1d

In order to help you overcome your fear
of what the Chinese call the Lord of Distress,
I suggest you try confrontation therapy…

—Brian McCabe, “Triskaidekaphobia”
published in ZERO (Polygon, 2009)

Happy Friday the 13th to all who celebrate

#Scottish #literature #poem #poetry #Fridaythe13th #triskaidekaphobia

Triskaidekaphobia
Brian McCabe

In order to help you overcome your fear
of what the Chinese call the Lord of Distress,
I suggest you try confrontation therapy.

So, on Black Friday, the day of Christ’s death –
and yes, the thirteenth apostle betrayed him –
which also, as you have said, happens to be

you and your wife’s thirteenth anniversary,
of which you live in so much dread,
we really have the ideal opportunity.

I want you to reserve a room in the Pyramid Hotel.
Unlike many, it has the floor – before you go in,
you must count them, from the ground –

and a room number 1313. On that date it is free
– I have checked – and you will find the rates
to be very reasonable indeed.

You must invite eleven guests – no more, no less.
The centrepiece at dinner should be a pineapple –
count the rows of scales sloping up to the right.

I want you to request that any flowers sent
have the requisite number of petals:
black-eyed Susans; corn marigolds, ragwort.

Read the Cabala to your guests – the section
about Paradise, the Heavenly Fountains,
the Gates of Mercy, the Rivers of Balsam.

This will be your phobia’s last supper.
I’m afraid I can’t – I’ll be away.
Good luck and happy anniversary.

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