Being shocked, then feeling relief that he ended the relationship with one sentence after I just made a project plan for a "healthy relationship" including 16 rules to respect each others boundaries.
Trying to understand why autistic women are so prone to being abused and that it wasn't my fault that he pushed me away again. Resisting the urge to ask him for forgiveness.
Feeling insecure and vulnerable.
Almost having to laugh about the fact that he was a great fan of the chemical brothers, whose music pushed me even more into the high he created in the beginning.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autism #EmotionalAbuse #traumabonding
