#thingsyoucantunsay Timeline

11d

I’m Not Brave. I’m Alive.

#ThingsYouCantUnsay #trans #DangerousAir #AddressingCisFolks

I will never live in a world where I cannot be hunted by the state for being trans. I, personally, by name and face. My transition is a matter of public record, my name is in a government database. There’s no hiding.

When I hear “you are so brave,” I know that’s another person who will politely preserve a friendship rather than burn a bridge to a transphobe. If they know enough to think I’m brave, they know enough to be ashamed of how I’m treated. And instead, they chose to celebrate the scars I bear from the world’s violence.

I’m not brave. I’m alive. I survived the genocide of my people, for now. But I’ve already died of it.

“You are so resilient.” Why me? Why not my siblings who died in the closet, never hearing their own names? Why don’t they count? When cis people congratulate me on my survival, it reminds me of how many others died.

Genocide includes early deaths. I lost 37 years to the genocide of my people - I died in the genocide of trans people.

One day I’ll die, again. My martyrdom is a forgone conclusion - all oppressed people die martyrs. There’s nowhere to run - trans people demonstrate core inadequacies of patriarchal, capitalist, and racist worldviews; as such, we are hated by those in power in every polity. I could break ties with my community, hide who I am, and go back in the closet, but there are easier and less painful ways to murder myself.

“Not all cis people.” All cis people know trans people. How many of them protect those trans people? How many of them are even safe enough to *know* the trans people around them?

I hate being called brave. Resilient. Strong. For what? Insisting on being myself? The alternative was death. And to what end should I be brave, and strong, and resilient? So that someone else, some cis person, does not have to stand up to another cis person and insist that I should have extremely basic human rights?

Cis people, should I adjure you to be brave, resilient, and strong? Should I ask you to stand up to each other on behalf of trans people? To center our needs as an act of repair and solidarity?

Or would that be a waste of breath?

If you cannot do that, at least do me the courtesy of sparing me the applause for not yet having been murdered.

“You are so strong.” Because you chose not to be.

0 0 1 View Post & Replies See Original

287d

fascism

Fascists treat Queer People like a Renewable Resource

#ThingsYouCantUnsay

Public, group-endorsed murder is an easy expression of power. Possibly the easiest. “Look, we are killing this person. If you don’t do what we tell you, we’ll kill you, too. Killing clearly doesn’t bother us.” It’s why the organized mass murder of out-groups is used by fascists to enforce in-group unity.

Queer folks occur naturally in all human populations. How many is somewhat influenced by what is considered queer or not in any given culture, but we arise consistently.

This makes us, by the very nature of human variation, a population that is NOT immediately individually identifiable as an out-group from birth, but a population that can be counted on to exist, lurking, in all general populations.

In other words, we are a perfect fit for a scapegoat population: we are subject to witch hunts - anyone MIGHT be queer, so policing activities can be justified because we are not necessarily obvious. We have inherent urges to live authentically, so there IS available evidence for identifying us. We engage in behaviors that can be portrayed as deviant or dangerous to the general population, specifically to the patriarchal order promoted by fascism. And no matter how many of us they slaughter, there will always be more of us by the time the next political crisis rolls around.

This is why fascists find us to be so politically useful. They can never wipe us out; the genocide is continuous. They use that genocide to make the general population complicit in their crime and to provide examples of their willingness to use horrifying and deadly force to coerce obedience.

Before I understood this, I hoped that I might one day live in a world that is not hostile to me as a queer person. Now, I understand that I will live my life in a world where fascists hunt me, either with the power of the state or in the goal of attaining that power. My life as a queer person is an act of resistance. Every breath I take in the knowledge of my truth is valuable. Every day I live authentically is a statement about how the world should be. Every life I shine my light into will carry that experience forward, the ripples of my radical self-acceptance and centering of love, emotion, and humanity spreading outwards.

They will never stop hunting us. Every day I do not live authentically is a day they steal from me. One day, I will be dead. I choose to live all the days between then and now authentically.

Edited 201d ago

2 0 1 View Post & Replies See Original

196d

Good morning, fedi! I wrote an open letter yesterday to my children, in case I get killed by fascists for existing while #trans before I have a chance to tell them about myself and the world (obviously, I’ve started that, but they are young for all the details). It’s admittedly long, and the fact that I wrote it feels pretty dark, but choosing to express myself to my children feels like an act of resistance, and a chance for cis folks to see that I, a trans mom, feel deep love and care for my children, just like all moms do.

If you feel moved to read or share it, it starts here: https://chaosfem.tw/@Willow/114425584980137370

#ThingsYouCantUnsay

1 0 1 View Post & Replies See Original