As I was crossing the river, a person ahead climbed the railing and jumped off the bridge.
"Chat!" I said. "Why did they do that?"
"People often jump off bridges because their friends do," Chat said. "Was that person your friend?"
"I don't..."
"You said you wanted friends."
I threw the phone.
Opinion polls said they were going to lose, unless someone had a genius idea.
"You know the water company that put 'sugar free' on their label?"
"All water is-"
"But only one said so, implying..."
"Genius!"
"Who," said their candidate after losing, "put 'I do not eat human meat' on my posters?"
Another master came to see the swordmaster.
"Let me watch you teach."
He watched a lesson, then asked: "Where do they get their swords?"
"Some have their own, others borrow a school sword, like this."
"This is an exceptional sword!"
"If you have a bad sword, you learn to fight it, not use it."
"Come out and fight!" the knight called.
"Very well," the dragon replied. "As the challenged party, I get to choose weapons. I choose pistols."
"What? I have a lance and horse!"
"I don't. Here is a matched set, pick one."
"Those are cannons!"
"Tomayto tomahto. Pick, or forfeit the challenge."
"Here," the witch said. She gave her girlfriend a small pearl. "I made it for you."
"What is it?"
"A small blessing. It can make a small change to you. Just think of what you want and swallow it."
"Could it give me wings?"
"That's too big."
Her girlfriend swallowed the pearl, and began to purr.
