microfiction

❝Muuuum…❞

Let me tell you, a four-vowel “Mum” is never good news. “Wassup kiddo?”

❝I forgot it was book week. I, uh, need a costume for tomorrow.❞

“Dammit. I swore I would never do this, but...” I stopped to consider if this was really the right time. “Go get the big sledge hammer from the garage, and meet me in the basement.”

I took the sledge and swung it at the cement floor. Nothing much happened. I swung again and a crack formed. “Waitaminnit, this is your emergency, your job.”. I handed the hammer to the kid.

Twenty minutes of hammering and we cleared away concrete rubble to find a wooden crate. I levered the lid up with the blade of the shovel.

The kid was impressed. ❝Woowwwww. Is that a real Jet Pack?! And that suit! Red leather, so retro. You think it’ll fit me?”❞

“Mark seventeen gravitic repulsor. You’re big enough to fit the suit now. You can borrow it *IF* you are extremely careful and do not under any circumstances reveal where you got it. And you’re not getting the power pack until you’re older.”

❝You’re the *best* mums; this’ll be the greatest book week EVER❞

I wish I’d put more plaster and less cement in the fake concrete, but the look on kiddo’s face made the book week costume I’d ordered for this inevitability worth every cent.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

The knight's lance was broken, his armour split, his blood pooling under him.

"You failed," the dragon sneered. "There'll be no tales teaching children dragons can be slain."

"But there will be stories teaching them to fight regardless."

"Because you failed?"

"Because I tried."

#MicroFiction #SmallStories #TootFic

She picked up a hammer. "Is this your hoard?"

"These are my hammers," the dragon said.

She went to one of the anvils. "Is this it?"

"No." The dragon breathed fire into the furnace.

"Then what do you hoard?"

"Smiths."

"Oh? Where are the others?"

"I hoped you'd be my first."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

I stared at the Devil. "Sorry, what?"

"I want to commission an original sin. Not The Original Sin," the Devil chuckled. "Something new."

"Why me?"

"I have read your fiction. You're very creative."

"But..."

"You don't need to commit it, just write it."

"Oh! What's the pay?"

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories #BeenBusy

"Why are they here?" the king said. "I didn't invite any fairies to our daughter's christening!"

"Hush, dear," the queen said, "I did."

"I give the gift of compassion," the first fairy said.

"I give democratic ideals," the second said.

"I give revolutionary zeal," said the third.

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

The knight hugged the cliffside. Ice coated his sword and shield.

"I equipped my best fire protection gear!" he wailed.

"Well, that was silly," the dragon replied. "I breathe ice."

"But your scales are red!"

"What has color to do with it?"

"Dragons are color coded! Red means fire! That way, I know how to prepare for battle!"

"And why," asked the dragon, "would we make things easy for you?"

#microfiction #flashfiction

"So what do you do?" I asked, realising we had mostly talked about me.

"I'm a god."

At that stage of the evening, it seemed reasonable. "Of what?"

"Love, lust, stuff like that."

"That's why you're sitting in a bar alone?"

"I'm not alone."

"Do you want to be?"

"Thanks for asking."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"I see where you are coming from," the tailor said, "but I fear it would not work."

"Why not?" said the first dragon.

"It works for gnomes," said the second.

"And raccoons," said the third.

"Yes," said the tailor, "but three dragons in a trenchcoat will not look like a human."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"A stick," the sword said.

"Really? As a sword, I thought-"

"I met a bronze sword, once. It was made in a mould, there were hundreds like it. Not all enchanted, but still."

"But you're steel-"

"And I was beaten into this shape. No. A stick grows as it wills. It is the best."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

There was only one bed.

The farmer put his sack of grain down. "I think we're in the wrong story."

"Who worried about crossing a river?" the fox said.

"Julius Caesar," said the hen.

"What?" said both farmer and fox.

"Never mind. Lets just work out how we all can get some sleep."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories #CrossOver

"You have found my darkest secret," the dragon said. "You can never reveal it."

"I will not," said the knight, "but why is it such a horrible secret?"

"It's my one vulnerability."

"This?"

The knight scritched between the dragon's horns.

"Mmm," it purred.

"This is nice."

"Mrrmrm."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

“Hello, this is Kelsey, we have been trying to reach you about your vehicle’s extended warranty”

*sigh* “Where did your life go wrong?”

“Ma’am?”

“What life choices led to you working in a call center reading these scam scripts”

“Um…I don’t have an answer for that on my script. And we work from home. Uh, are you aware that our service can…”

“Stop, Kelsey. Put the script down. I’m trying to help you here. Just think, what would you rather be doing? When did you turn away from that?”

“Um, I guess, ah, why am I telling you this. When I gave up playing bass guitar”

“What year was that?”

“Must have been 2033 or early 34”

“Okay, please hold”

“Wha-“

I punch a code into my vortex manipulator. *ZZZAAPPPP*

*ZZZAAPPPP* “Okay thank you for holding, are you still there?”

*silence*

“You’re welcome, Kelsey. Have a nice life.”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

"What is the meaning of this?" King Arthur demanded.

"We swore an oath," Lancelot said, "to aid damsels and accept their quests."

Galahad nodded. "I met a lady who requested free universal healthcare."

"Basic universal income," Percival added.

"And universal suffrage," Bors said.

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

Every evening I take the "You'll make it to tomorrow" sign off my bedroom wall, and put it in my time machine.

Every morning, I get into my time machine, go to yesterday before I woke, and hang the sign up.

It's nice to have something to be certain of, these days.

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"I think it is a bit unfair you get nine lives," the dog said.

"That's a myth," said the cat.

"I've seen you do things that would kill me, and walk off as if nothing happened."

"Exactly."

"Huh?"

"You just have to be more confident than Death."

"Just?"

"What? Like it's hard?"

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

By entering the galactic scene by beating an Ikk'ii invasion, humans became known as fearsome warriors.

It became fashionable to have one on crew, and it emerged there were different kinds.

The most prized were polite, helpful, yet could intimidate even other humans: Librarians.

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"In dem verräucherten #Gewölbe ist es ziemlich #düster. Wie auf ein geheimes #Zeichen hin zücken ausnahmslos alle Anwesenden gleichzeitig ihre #Degen und #fuchteln mit den #erbärmlich geschmiedeten #Klingen #sinnlos in der #Luft rum..."

Dann fuhr der #Kater im #Bett die #Krallen wieder ein.

#microfiction

"There are so many books I have to read," the first ghost said. "I haunt the library."

"I haunt an apartment complex," the second said. "For films and TV shows."

They turned to the third ghost. "What's your unfinished business?"

"An internet argument."

"Dude, let it go."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

When they reached the woods, the knight reined the horse in, lowered the maiden to the ground, and dismounted.

"I think we are safe now," he said.

"How did you distract the dragon?" the maiden asked.

"Promise you won't laugh."

"I promise."

"I set up a huge cardboard box."

*snort*

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"All I can give you," my godmother whispered, "is a secret name."

I don't remember that, being a newborn at the time. I didn't learn about it until I was seven, when some older kids were bullying me.

Suddenly, a dragon landed behind me.

"This," it said, "is my Hoard."

That's me.

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

The candles at the points of the pentagram flickered. A demon appeared.

"Do you do Black Friday deals?" the conjuror said.

"What?"

"Like, unlimited knowledge and worldly pleasures, for less than my soul?"

"Actually, it was five souls, but today it's only one."

"Oh? That's cheap!"

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"I warn you," the man said, "he's cunning and fast."

"Don't worry," said the monster hunter. "Ain't no monster alive I can't track down and corner. I'll be back with its head-"

"No! You must not harm him!"

"No?"

"Just give him this envelope."

"What's in it?"

"Divorce papers."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

I have lost count of how many demons I summoned before I finally got the sigil and incantation right. An angel appeared.

"Tell me," I demanded, "why God created humans!"

"To make art."

"Wait, what? To glorify him?"

"If you wish. But all art you make delights and surprises Him."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"He burned our libraries. Why did he do that? It's so destructive. Can you think of anything more evil?"
"I can, child. There is something worse than burning a library."
"How!"
"It happened long ago, this was a time when books were not rare as they are today. Everyone had hundereds of books."
"Hundreds! No!"
"Thousands."
"Oh!"
"So, the new kings realized they couldn't possibly destroy all of the books. They would always miss a few."
"What did they do?"

#slopocalypse #microfiction

1/

"Why did you come to this time? To warn us?"

The time traveler laughed. "Why would anyone listen to me?"

"You're from our future-"

"No, I'm from a different timeline, a different future. I'm a refugee."

"To here? Now?"

"It looks fucked right now, but this is the timeline that pulls through."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories