"Here," the witch said. She gave her girlfriend a small pearl. "I made it for you."
"What is it?"
"A small blessing. It can make a small change to you. Just think of what you want and swallow it."
"Could it give me wings?"
"That's too big."
Her girlfriend swallowed the pearl, and began to purr.
The God of Bad Art gets offerings from all over the world, but in Their temple, They sometimes appear.
"Why bad art?" I ask.
"It is brave", the God replies.
"To try and fail?"
"No," the God chuckles. "Any creative work is a defiance of entropy, of Death itself. If you create, you do not fail."
RE: https://dragonchat.org/@Drayson/117520867951412980
Earlier that week, they'd thought they'd hired exactly the right fit for their start-up. She'd some limited experience on her CV from networking the smart machines in a busy London laundry.
That afternoon, an erie shade of green-purple that their eye's couldn't quite resolve began to bleed out of their monitors. That's when they looked under the desk and found the ethernet cables levitating in a pentacle.
Then the chittering started.
“One more thing. This is the BeamPro Duo, our revolutionary dual channel transporter console that can beam passengers in both directions at once, doubling—“
“How did you solve the buffer acknowledgement latency issues?”
“I did say please hold questions to the end, but we found that transmitting the buffer acknowledgement immediately rather than waiting for the recipient to fully materialise allows us to-"
“Well, yes anyone can be fast if they violate the safety semantics!”
…
“Good preso, sir!”
“Can’t believe that fucking heckler! Who did they think they were?”
“Uh, that was Zelda Cochran, sir, the co-author of the Secure Serialised Humanoid protocol”
“Who?”
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_One_More_Thing
“Morning void, how’s it floating?”
﹄That is an extremely personal question﹃
“Uh, you’re not my usual usual void, I’m sorry, please excuse me”
﹄Void 𐩕෴𐩘 is covering a shift in north america, demand is rather high over there just now﹃
“Well, welcome to the cupboard under my stairs, I hope you are comfortable, can i get you anything”
﹄I’m good thanks. Uh, this cat is very affectionate.﹃
“She does enjoy a good voidbump, is she bothering you?”
﹄Absolutely not.﹃
“You fought in the clone wars?”
“Yes I was once a Jedi like your father!”
“You fought to free the clone slaves?”
“…”
“You fought to free the clone slaves, right?”
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Great_Warrior
A demon appeared in the summoning circle. It was wearing pyjamas.
"I summoned thee to give me knowled-"
"Really?" the demon said. "You have the internet these days, the world's knowledge a click away. Nobody's summoned me in years."
"You have all knowledge. Why did I summon thee?"
"... oh shit."
The dragon watched the girl climb up to its mountain lair. She stopped to catch her breath, then shouted:
"Oi! I've got some questions."
"Ask."
"Princesses, why?"
"They're educated and smell nice."
"No noble blood?"
"All humans are humans."
"Yes! The revolution is go! Cheers!"
"Good luck."
We were finally all untied, and in my case, unchained. While Linna and Robyn freed us, the noises of… well, terror, honestly, continued to echo above us. There were also occasional small explosions, one thunderclap, a few ZAPs, and, I swear by Pharasma, a sound I can only describe as a kersploosh.
Then it went boneyard quiet.
I picked up Pai, who wasn't in walking shape, and moved to kick down the door when it popped open. Trixie flitted in, smiling and smelling vaguely of ozone.
"Oh! There you guys are! We should leave. These guys aren't…" she paused and grinned "fun anymore."
As we made our way out I realized something. We often think of Trixie as a loveable prankster bard who reads comics and is a huge MST3K fan. But it's important to keep in mind that she's a faerie dragon.
And while they look super cute and are mostly agreeable, it's a bad idea to forget that they're, you know, *dragons*.
As in "do not meddle in the affairs of."
“Billionaires, “ the teacher said “were a cognitohazard of the late dirt ages. In that time it was normal to force humans to perform labour for four to five decades before being permitted a period of limited rest known as retirement. The billionaire class found ways to steal even the limited resources remaining to retired victims for themselves.”
A hand went up. “Miss, why did they do it?”
“You can ask; today we will meet one of these ancient monsters”
A nervous titter. “A simulation—right?”
“Oh no, a corpsicle. After the Reset they were frozen and periodically reanimated to remind us all never again. Everyone take a stick from the rack and make sure it is sharp.”
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_History_Class
“Uh, hi. I wonder is it possible to fix the luck button on my phone?”
“Wow you don’t see those any more, it’s in good nick otherwise?”
“Yeah, I’ve kept it because I like the physical luck button. I looked it up on ihexit.com but it said repair difficulty impossible. So I brought it to you.”
“Awww, you’re too kind”
“Do you think you can save it?”
“Chances are good. The impossible rating is because the case is a one piece casting and can’t be opened without spilling the magic. UNLESS you know the secret”
“Oh kay, so i should go away while you do the secret thing?”
“Oh no, all my tricks are Open Sorcery. You need a jumbo ziplock bag and an imp. Wake up Archie, we got a luck button on an InnerEye Phone Seven. Deep breath and i’m gonna seal you in.”
„roight yar mistress!„
A dragon came to the royal castle and requested an audience with the king.
"I hear," the dragon said, "that you have no princess."
"So?"
"So I propose you adopt me."
"You're a girl?"
"I could be."
"Sorry. But wouldn't that bring more dragons?"
The dragon fluttered her eyelashes. "I hope so."
It's not that it turns out we live in a simulation, that we are all simulations, self-aware and thinking and feeling though we might be.
It's not even that the simulation is shutting down.
It's that it's shutting down because all the AI data centers we built use too much data.
It's too stupid.
“OPEN YOUR BIBLE NOW”
“What?”
“Go to your bookshelf, get a bible”
“I’m not at home, I’m traveling for work, overnighting in an airport hotel at ORD”
“Even better, get the Gideons bible from the nightstand, open to the contents page. It’s an ESV. What’s the last book?”
“Duh, Revelation. Wait, Whiskey Tango—”
“Is there another book listed?”
“Yeah, contents says Apologia”
“Open to that page, read aloud, now”
“Yeah I’m doing it. ‘Hi, sorry for the silence, it’s been a while since I updated this blog, I’ve been busy with a new project’…”
