Eggplant.place

2y

Moose on a snowy road with snow covered trees. Licking a car. “ Canadian Car Wash”. FYI please do not stop and let a moose lick the salt off your car. It puts them in danger. Thanks
#Humor #moose #WildLife

Mood on a snowy road with snow covered trees. Licking a car. “ Canadian Car Wash”

ALT

Edited 2y ago

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216d

If I believed in a heaven it might be an empty library 😁
Which of course means the hum of old monitors is the choir of angels 😂

@libraries @librarians @bookbubble @bookstodon @humour

#Library #LibraryMemes #Memes #Libraries #Librarians #Humor #Humour
#Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #BookLove #BoostingIsSharing

Picture of a humble, little library with small bookcases and a couple of old computers.
Caption: Where the smell of library books mingled with the hum of old monitors.

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216d

Absolutely crushing those #caturday goals!

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

a cat crushing a box that has another cat in it -- the latter lying back with its mouth open as if in agony

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6d

Ebook: https://books2read.com/EmergentConsequences

The painter of the universe, known as Life, just wanted to fulfill her reason for being, by creating a universe full of beautiful wonders and living things, but her twin brother, Death, exists solely to destroy her work, leading to an intractable argument about whose work should prevail.

@bookstodon
#author #indieauthor #writing #fantasy #fiction #shortstory #life #death #creation #destruction #humor #satire #darkhumor

(Left) The Cover of Emergent Consequences, by Owen Tyme, illustrated by Ryan Johnson.

Life and Death lay asleep in a the grass, the way they lay slightly resembling the yin-yang symbol. The tools of their trades are scattered around them.

Life is a woman with black hair, in a white robe. Behind her are the paint brush and palette she paints the universe with. She's rather short and has rosy cheeks.

Death is a skeleton in a black robe, which appears to be continually disintegrating at the hem line. Behind him lay his scythe and scroll of names.

Between Life and Death is the hourglass that serves as the source of time for the entire universe, an item that's most commonly carried by Death, but which is part of the work of both of them.

The artwork is cartoonish, with some bushes and a tree that has one red piece of fruit dangling from it. The scene is looked upon by the sun, which frowns at everything.

(Right) The background is an image of some green bacteria with the following quote over the top:

"I think I'll call it Ted."

"Ted? You want to name micro-organism Ted? Are you serious?"

"Yes, Ted."

"Alright, I just thought Bob would fit better."

(Bottom) https://books2read.com/EmergentConsequences

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189d

The Art of Myth-DirectionAvailable Now & On Kindle Unlimited #KU a.co/d/8B50deF🎭 Comedy / Satire👧 Kid Heroes💪 Coming of Age😻 Animal Companion🍳 Talking Magical Item😈 Good Vs Evil🐉 Subverted Tropes👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 No Romance#booksky💙📚 #debutnovel #fantasy #satire #comedy #humor #writing #kindleunlimited

com.atproto.sync.getBlob?did=did:plc:mn2gv6fibkftdpqzav2kc6lc&cid=bafkreiewfuwsg6xxk4fzycfnd3vgkmkkqeti6c4ql4bpa3lcfuqxqg2esi

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207d

Just when you thought corvids couldn't get any cooler.

#crow #corvid #humor #humour #cool

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207d

There nothing quite like stale russian despair... 😂

@bookstodon @fantasybookstodon @bookbubble @humour @reading

#Book #Books #BookMemes #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Novel #Novels #Bookshelf
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove #BoostingIsSharing
#Repost #From #Old #Account

Post by Existential Comics

British novel: let's go to a party and find a wife.
German novel: let's go to the wilderness and find ourselves.
Russian novel: let's go to the depths ofdespair and then find out there is an even deeper level of despair we didn't know about and go there.

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209d

What do you mean OR? 🤔
I can broil in existential dread and plot a fantasy series at the same time. 😂 Luckily I don't make mistakes, at least not any I'm willing to admit too 😜

@bookstodon @fantasybookstodon @speculativefictioncomedy @bookbubble @humour

#FantasySeries #VS #ExistentialDread
#FantasyMemes #Fantasy #Memes #Humor #Humour
#Low #High #Epic #Science #Comedic
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels
#Mastobooks #BooksofMastodon #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #Bookstodon #BookLove

Post by C.G. Drews

Apparently some people go to bed and just...sleep???
They don't plot a 7-book epic fantasy series or softly broil in existential dread or replay every mistake they ever made???
And then they wake up [checks notes] REFRESHED? | just. It sounds a bit fake.

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354d

Meanwhile, in the CCP's China...

Just Some Guys Singing a Song

#meme #memes #funny #laugh #humor #lol

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203d

"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal" -Philip J. Fry 😂

@reading @bookstodon @bookbubble @humour

#Futurama #Quote
#ReadingMemes #Memes #ReadAllTheBooks #Humor #Humour
#Reading #Readers #ReadersOfMastodon #ReadingCommunity
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels #Fiction
#Bookwyrm #Bookworm #Bookstodon #BookLove

Post by Jonathan Edward Durham

I’m not a book hoarder. I’m prepping for the possibility that one day I might have 173 years to do nothing but read.

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206d

NUEVO VÍDEO!

Nos vamos al lejano Oeste, bueno, a Almería.

https://youtu.be/Xxj6_9w4nN8

#FortBravo #youtuber #youTube #humor #Almería #desierto #lejanoOeste #western

Dunkel y Rena vestidas de vaqueras. Rena mira sonriente a Dunkel mientras ésta, montada a caballo, sonríe con confianza.

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188d

Keep on sailing. #grickledoodle #vikings #clown #horror #cartoon #art #drawing #funny #humor

A cartoon illustration of a ship of vikings looking worriedly at a clown with a balloon standing on the shore of an island. Caption reads "The vikings decided they would skip this particular island on their voyage."

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202d

Instant #caturday karma.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

[description: an orange cat and a grey cat fighting -- the orange seems like the aggressor, and above the grey. It then falls off the couch.]

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159d

"I read, therefore I am," I'm pretty sure that's what he actually meant... 😁

@reading @bookstodon @books @philosophy@lemmy.ml @philosophy@lemmy.world @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#ReadingMemes #Memes #ReadAllTheBooks #Humor #Humour #Thinking #Philosophy #Psyhology
#Reading #Readers #ReadersOfMastodon #ReadingCommunity
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels #Fiction
#Recommendation #Bookrecommendation
#Bookwyrm #Bookworm #Bookstodon #BookLove

“The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.”

— René Descartes

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2y

There are two kinds of cats: murder and doofus.

#caturday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

two cats waiting to come inside: a white one with a look of pure murder on its face and a grey fluffy tabbyy who looks like he's forgotten his car keys and needs your help

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200d

Don't let anyone convince you that what you're looking for can't be found.

Tracking Bigfoot art print -- https://2-steve-henderson.pixels.com/featured/tracking-bigfoot-steve-henderson.html?product=art-print

#art #artwork #mastoart #fediart #buyintoart #ayearforart #bigfoot #sasquatch #forest #woods #cabin #trees #journey #path #nature #discover #humor #artist #painting #explore

Art print of an original oil painting depicting a couple in the woods, looking down at large tracks, with Bigfoot striding on the path behind them.

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2y

I mean, would it kill you to let Cathy tell you about her ferrets?

#library #libraries #reader #readers #books #book #writingcommunity #ferrets #humor #humour

Three signs -- one says Library Book Return and is on a book drop return slot.
Drop box is broken! Please visit Cathy inside to return books
Update!
Drop box is NOT BROKEN! Cathy is just super lonely and wants to talk to you about her nine ferrets.

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187d

It's Sunday, so here's your Jesus-related cat content.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

what cat sitting in front of a jesus statue, so that it looks like its his arms out -- contrasted against a blue wall

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186d

I gaed to spend a week in Fife—
An unco week it proved to be—
For there I met a waesome wife
Lamentin’ her viduity.
Her grief brak out sae fierce and fell,
I thought her heart wad burst the shell,
And,—I was sae left tae mysel,—
I sell’t her an annuity…

—“The Annuity” by George Outram (1805–1856)

Today, 15 September, is Pensions Awareness Day. Tak tent!

#Scottish #literature #19thcentury #Victorian #poem #poetry #Scots #Scotslanguage #humor #pension #pensions

The Annuity
George Outram

I gaed to spend a week in Fife—
An unco week it proved to be—
For there I met a waesome wife
Lamentin’ her viduity.
Her grief brak out sae fierce and fell,
I thought her heart wad burst the shell,
And,—I was sae left tae mysel,—
I sell’t her an annuity.

The bargain lookit fair eneugh—
She just was turned o’ saxty-three—
I couldna guessed she’d prove sae teugh,
By human ingenuity.
But years have come, and years have gane,
And there she’s yet as stieve ’s a stane—
The limmer’s growin’ young again,
Since she got her annuity.

She’s crined awa’ to bane and skin,
But that, it seems, is naught to me;
She’s like to live—although she’s in
The last stage o’ tenuity.
She munches wi’ her wizened gums,
An’ stumps about on legs o’ thrums;
But comes—as sure as Christmas comes—
To ca’ for her annuity.

She jokes her joke, an’ cracks her crack,
As spunkie as a growin’ flea—
An’ there she sits upon my back,
A livin’ perpetuity.
She hurkles by her ingle side,
An’ toasts an’ toasts her wrunkled hide—
Lord kens how lang she yet may bide
To ca’ for her annuity.

I read the tables drawn wi’ care
For an Insurance Company;
Her chance o’ life was stated there,
Wi’ perfect perspicuity.
But tables here or tables there,
She’s lived ten years beyond her share,
An’s like to live a dizzen mair,
To ca’ for her annuity.

ALT

$I got the loun that drew the deed— We spelled it o’er right carefully;— In vain he yerked his souple heid, To find an ambiguity: It’s dated—tested—a’ complete— The proper stamp—nae word delete— And diligence, as on decreet, May pass for her annuity. Last Yule she had a fearfu’ hoast,— I thought a kink might set me free; I led her out, ’mang snaw and frost, Wi’ constant assiduity. But deil ma’ care—the blast gaed by, And missed the auld anatomy; It just cost me a tooth, forbye Discharging her annuity. I thought that grief might gar her quit— Her only son was lost at sea— But aff her wits behoved to flit, An’ leave her in fatuity! She threeps, an’ threeps, he’s livin’ yet, For a’ the tellin’ she can get; But catch the doited runt forget To ca’ for her annuity! If there’s a sough o’ cholera, Or typhus,—wha sae gleg as she? She buys up baths, an’ drugs, an’ a’, In siccan superfluity! She doesna need—she’s fever proof— The pest gaed owre her very roof— She tauld me sae—an’ then her loof Held out for her annuity. Ae day she fell, her arm she brak— A compound fracture as could be— Nae leech the cure wad undertak, Whate’er was the gratuity. It’s cured! She handles ’t like a flail— It does as weel in bits as hale— But I’m a broken man mysel Wi’ her and her annuity.$

ALT

Her broozled flesh and broken banes
Are weel as flesh and banes can be;
She beats the tades that live in stanes,
An’ fatten in vacuity!
They die when they’re exposed to air—
They canna thole the atmosphere—
But her!—expose her onywhere—
She lives for her annuity.

If mortal means could nick her thread,
Sma’ crime it wad appear to me—
Ca’ t murder—or ca’ t homicide—
I’d justify ’t—an’ do it tae.
But how to fell a withered wife
That’s carved out o’ the tree of life—
The timmer limmer dares the knife
To settle her annuity.

I’d try a shot—but whar’s the mark?—
Her vital parts are hid frae me;
Her back-bane wanders through her sark
In an unkenned corkscrewity.
She’s palsified, an’ shakes her head
Sae fast about, ye scarce can see ’t—
It’s past the power o’ steel or lead
To settle her annuity.

She might be drowned;—but go she’ll not
Within a mile o’ loch or sea;
Or hanged—if cord could grip a throat
O’ siccan exiguity.
It’s fitter far to hang the rope—
It draws out like a telescope—
’Twad tak’ a dreadfu’ length o’ drop
To settle her annuity.

Will poison do ’t?—It has been tried.
But, be’t in hash or fricassee,
That’s just the dish she can’t abide,
Whatever kind o’ goût it hae.
It’s needless to assail her doubts,—
She gangs by instinct—like the brutes,—
An’ only eats an’ drinks what suits
Hersel an’ her annuity.

ALT

The Bible says the age o’ man
Threescore and ten, perchance, may be;
She’s ninety-four—Let them wha can
Explain the incongruity.
She should hae lived afore the flood—
She’s come o’ patriarchal blood—
She’s some auld Pagan, mummified
Alive for her annuity.

She’s been embalmed inside and oot—
She’s sauted to the last degree—
There’s pickle in her very snoot
Sae caper-like an’ cruety.
Lot’s wife was fresh compared to her—
They’ve kyanized the useless knir,—
She canna decompose—nae mair
Than her accursed annuity.

The water-drap wears out the rock,
As this eternal jaud wears me;
I could withstand the single shock,
But not the continuity.
It’s pay me here, an’ pay me there—
An’ pay me, pay me, evermair—
I’ll gang demented wi’ despair—
I’m charged for her annuity!

ALT

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1y

I hope there's a great crop of #caturday posts today!

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

a cat's head sticking out of a line of plants growing through ground covering material that protects the plants

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192d

#memes #humor #piadas #kkkk

correlação entre o tamanho da tela e sua importância na firma

meme: um gráfico traça a seguinte correlação
escravo corporativo - dois monitores
gestão média - um monitor
alta gestão - laptop
executivo - tablet
ceo - celular

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183d

First you have to force feed them some propaganda like "the strong should prey on the weak."
And then you can have instant replay of #LordOfTheFlies 🤔😒

@reading @bookstodon @books @humor @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#ReadingMemes #Memes #ReadAllTheBooks #Humor #Humour
#Reading #Readers #ReadersOfMastodon #ReadingCommunity
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels #Fiction
#Bookwyrm #Bookworm #Bookstodon #BookLove #BoostingIsSharing