When I was 21…I was told I was likely infertile and that pregnancy could and probably would kill me. I was denied a tubal ligation and/or hysterectomy because I “might meet a man who wants kids”.
It was a horrifying look at how deep misogyny runs in medicine - and how little women are trusted to know their own bodies and make decisions for their health.
I eventually had the hysterectomy- but only once it became an emergency because I was bleeding to death and they couldn’t stop it. The surgery was more traumatizing and dangerous because I wasn’t afforded the time to adequately prep.
I’m grateful to have survived - and sharing my story in the hopes it helps other women feel less alone. I hope it challenges doctors and healthcare workers to think differently about how they treat women and realize that not ALL of us can become mothers (and not all of us WANT to either).
At the end of the day - a man wouldn’t have had these issues if he wanted a vasectomy. He would have been trusted to know his body. He wouldn’t have been treated like an incubator and I sincerely doubt many men are asked whether they’ve considered that they could meet their “dream woman” and she might be angry about their sterility.
There’s no stigma about the childless cat man.
https://www.disabledginger.com/p/pregnancy-will-likely-kill-you-but
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