<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@actuallyadhd" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>actuallyadhd</span></a></span> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p><p>Cannot believe how a quick session of messing with the computer, remembering & refamiliarising myself with Obsidian & SyncThing up ended my day. <br>A pre breakfast half an hour turned out to have plowed through both breakfast & lunch & into early mid-afternoon territory 😂.</p><p>Plans in ruins, important tasks shunted as my brain was pickled or something. <br>Something, something hyperfocus, time blindness & executive dysfunction lead to something & dehydration. Why can't this trifecta happen when I need it?<br>I'd plough through all my tasks & then spend the last hours of the day restocking my body's calorie & liquid stores whilst unwinding with some movies or episodes 😎.</p><p><a href="/tags/audhd/" rel="tag">#AuDHD</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> <a href="/tags/adhd/" rel="tag">#ADHD</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyadhd/" rel="tag">#ActuallyADHD</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#ActuallyAutistic</a> <br><a href="/tags/hyperfocus/" rel="tag">#Hyperfocus</a> <a href="/tags/timeblindness/" rel="tag">#TimeBlindness</a> <a href="/tags/executivedysfunction/" rel="tag">#ExecutiveDysfunction</a></p>
autistic
<p>I wonder how other <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyaudhd/" rel="tag">#actuallyaudhd</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#actuallyautistic</a> people feel about the tv shows:</p><p>- The Good Doctor<br>- Parenthood</p><p>Cc <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p>
<p>I'm listening to Fern Brady talk about autism. Meltdowns as being like a bottle of pop/soda that's been shaken too much and then you open it.</p><p>I've read that it's often like anger. But anger tends to resolve quickly when the cause is fixed. Whereas, with a meltdown, NOPE! We're still "angry". </p><p>This was so much of my childhood. I was so angry so often.</p><p>Not that I could tell that this was odd because my father didn't like me and would yell at me. And he'd yell at my mother in front of me. I'd get between them and yell at him to stop.</p><p>Afterward, after his yelling and demeaning words, I'd go into a quiet room, turn off the lights, sit on the floor, and seethe.</p><p>Sure, it was justified seething. I was getting emotionally abused, before anyone thought this was wrong (back in the '80s). But I knew it was **wrong**</p><p>But the anger. I would be angry for hours.</p><p>When I'd be bullied or teased for being different in school, I'd be angry for a while. I'd even be violent within limits.</p><p>When I felt like I had no agency, I'd punch objects. I'd even Charlie horse myself: colloquial for punching myself in the thigh until walking with that leg ached.</p><p>So, sure, C-PTSD, because of years of accumulated awfulness. But also autism.</p><p>And this is so much of the difficulty with being autistic and getting diagnosed. The diagnostician has to untangle the trauma from possible autistic symptoms. There's overlap.</p><p>Also, so so SO many autistics have trauma. So many.</p><p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span><br><a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyaudhd/" rel="tag">#actuallyaudhd</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#actuallyautistic</a></p>
<p>It's funny how "experts" are now discussing two proposals I kept on repeating for a few years now:1. <a href="/tags/korea/" rel="tag">#Korea</a> <a href="/tags/philippines/" rel="tag">#Philippines</a> <a href="/tags/japan/" rel="tag">#Japan</a> alliance triangle (and a far future confederation)2. Combining the South China Sea and East China Sea issuesI'm a one-man <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> brain trust / think-tank. 🤣</p>
<p>It's funny how "experts" are now discussing two proposals I kept on repeating for a few years now:</p><p>1. <a href="/tags/korea/" rel="tag">#Korea</a> <a href="/tags/philippines/" rel="tag">#Philippines</a> <a href="/tags/japan/" rel="tag">#Japan</a> alliance triangle (and a far future confederation)<br>2. Combining the South China Sea and East China Sea issues</p><p>I'm a one-man <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> brain trust / think-tank. 🤣 (Well, I did work as an SME (subject-matter expert), soo…)</p>
<p>Having a hard conversation with my adult kid about that the fact that I may not agree or fully approve on their decisions doesn’t mean I won’t support them in those decisions and their consequences. </p><p>Apparently, when I dared to disagree or express my doubts about something being right thing in that particular moment of time, it was taken as a hard ‘No, I forbid you that!’ </p><p>I was perplexed to be accused of forbidding them some things years ago - which I actually wanted them to do, and was under an impression all this time that that was them losing the interest in those things. </p><p>I don’t know if that is due to my <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> parenting or just my own fault not related to autism at all, but looks like I have way worse communication problems than I thought<br><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p>
<p>I have a cat I love dearly, and the cat, I am sure, loves me in their own way. The cat is extremely affectionate, would follow me, would demand pets, would come to cuddle with me, would lay on my lap - and all of that makes me very happy, and one of those things that make it worth living. </p><p>But sometimes, out of nowhere, the cat would attack my feet, or my ankles, or my hands. Without any apparent reason, and very painfully, with claws and teeth, as if actually hunting. </p><p>I learned to only reach for the pets from the right angle, try to not make any provoking moves or wear any provoking clothes, to not bother the cat when they seem agitated - and when it looks like they’re about to attack to just hide the target part, or cover it with something, or try to distract the cat suddenly with something else, so they would either not be able to launch the attack, or to reach the target, or at least would make the least damage. When attacked - same, intent to just remove the target part and put an obstacle between the cat and it, and distract their attention to something else and talk in the most calming voice possible, even if what I actually want is to scream and cry of pain and fear.</p><p>So basically I do A LOT of avoiding stuff just because I have no way to communicate to the cat properly that what they are doing hurts, and that they have no reason to do so because I am me, the one they have so affection for, and I love them and care for them, and would not do anything bad to them.</p><p>What I realized not so long ago is that it’s how I was behaving with my parents(especially in my childhood) and with my husband(and in a way with many other people). Always walking on the eggshells, trying to predict what can possibly trigger a response that hurts or what can possibly scare/agitate them - and putting a lot of work in avoiding that. </p><p>Part of me thinks if doing so is not disrespectful in a way? Kinda pulling them down to the level of a cat one can’t reason with. </p><p>But the thing is, the difference should’ve been that they should be possible to communicate with, but very early I understood that any possible tries to communicate to them that I don’t like/am hurt by something they are doing always led to them being hurt/offended with me saying so, and I never wanted to hurt them, so I just ended up adding ‘communicate my pain and troubles’ to the ‘not-to-do list’. </p><p>So I think, is that due to a specific way of <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> or generally <a href="/tags/neurodivergent/" rel="tag">#neurodivergent</a> communications being not quite compatible with the communication methods of other people - that we just can’t communicate to them that this hurts, and end up walking ob the eggshells like with the cat - because we know that proper communication is simply not possible? <br>Or is that that I just learned that trying to communicate is useless quite early in the life and I just don’t try anymore because don’t believe other people capable of understanding?<br>Is it how the masking, people pleasing and the whole bunch of other ‘autistic traits’ begin actually? </p><p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p>
<p>The past week with the heat, and now last night with sporadic thunder and smoke from the fires and the house still being hot has been bloody awful. Nothing compared to what people in the fire zones are experiencing, but still grim. <br><a href="/tags/vicpol/" rel="tag">#vicpol</a> <a href="/tags/auspol/" rel="tag">#auspol</a> <a href="/tags/climate/" rel="tag">#climate</a> #<a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#Autism</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/neurodiverse/" rel="tag">#neurodiverse</a> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> <a href="/tags/autisticburnout/" rel="tag">#AutisticBurnout</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#ActuallyAutistic</a></p>
<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@actuallyadhd" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>actuallyadhd</span></a></span> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p><p>Every time my Mam calls, she ends up messing with the screen controls & it's exhausting trying to remind her to keep her fingers of the screen. <br>I think she needs to hold the screen closer toner head so the controls get hidden / deactivate.</p><p>Tried explaining that she could put the phone down & use Speaker mode but, same problem. No memory for it.</p><p>She's started talk about moving, been saying she might for years but with the landlord passed away & property up for sale she kind of has to now.<br>She's finally started saying she might move back to the Netherlands to be near family & I'm hoping she does but worried she doesn't seem to understand how quickly she could go from having a roof to not having one, if the purchaser wants the tenants out.<br>I don't know Scottish rental laws. </p><p>I think she definitely is going to need help & if she opts for moving near me, I'm it & I'm useless. In the Netherlands she'll at least have her siblings & any friends she kept in touch with.</p><p>No clue what to do to help her get started or if I should just leave it. Even if I could help I'm not sure I have a clue what to do or where to start.</p><p>Okay, think I'm just spinning wheels now.</p><p><a href="/tags/audhd/" rel="tag">#AuDHD</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> <a href="/tags/adhd/" rel="tag">#ADHD</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyadhd/" rel="tag">#ActuallyADHD</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#ActuallyAutistic</a> <a href="/tags/life/" rel="tag">#Life</a> <a href="/tags/parents/" rel="tag">#Parents</a></p>
<p>I need to take a bath. Not enough time before <a href="/tags/monsterdon/" rel="tag">#Monsterdon</a> </p><p>After movie… need to take a bath. I didnt change clothes for two days. I need to do one activity not caring for dog or watching movies after the movie. But I don’t think I will get to it. </p><p><a href="/tags/selfcare/" rel="tag">#Selfcare</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> <a href="/tags/newyearsresolutionprogress/" rel="tag">#NewYearsResolutionProgress</a><br><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p>
<p>How do you convince yourself to learn something small first? </p><p>I have a difficult time starting anything and an even harder time finishing. And I have been known to start at later steps than I should. I was even like that with reading. </p><p>I end up all or nothing a lot. </p><p><a href="/tags/education/" rel="tag">#Education</a> <br><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> <br><a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/adhd/" rel="tag">#ADHD</a> <a href="/tags/mentalhealth/" rel="tag">#MentalHealth</a></p>
<p>I just finished 'Is this Autism? A guide for clinicians and everyone else'. It's really good and if autism is a special interest of yours, like it is for me, you'll love it. I would also strongly recommend it for any healthcare professionals. <br><a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#Autism</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/neurodiverse/" rel="tag">#neurodiverse</a> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> <a href="/tags/autisticburnout/" rel="tag">#AutisticBurnout</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#ActuallyAutistic</a></p>
<p>YouTube has a lot of issues and I don’t blanket recommend it, but right now it’s a great spot to find people diagnosed <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> or <a href="/tags/audhd/" rel="tag">#AuDHD</a> in adulthood making videos on recognizing, understanding, and coping with things like overwhelm and meltdown. I have many thanks for those folks.</p><p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@actuallyadhd" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>actuallyadhd</span></a></span> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p>
<p>cc'ing <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> </p><p>Disabled woman speaks about her confrontation with <a href="/tags/ice/" rel="tag">#ICE</a></p><p>"In the video, Rahman could be heard saying 'I’m disabled, I’m trying to go to the doctor up there… I am an <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> disabled person, I’m trying to go to the doctor,' according to RegTechTimes."</p><p>By Randall, January 16, 2026</p><p>"A <a href="/tags/usborncitizen/" rel="tag">#USBornCitizen</a> dragged from her car Tuesday by ICE agents is speaking out for the first time.</p><p>"<a href="/tags/aliyarahman/" rel="tag">#AliyaRahman</a> told Newsweek that the last few days have been 'traumatizing and overwhelming.'</p><p>" 'First and foremost, I feel lucky to be alive. What I thought would be a routine trip to my appointment at the Traumatic Brain Injury Center turned into an assault by federal agents,' said Rahman who was raised in Bangladesh.</p><p>"A New York Times reporter described what he witnessed in this video...:</p><p>Read more:<br><a href="https://asamnews.com/2026/01/16/autistic-woman-ice-arrest-raises-questions/" rel="nofollow" class="ellipsis" title="asamnews.com/2026/01/16/autistic-woman-ice-arrest-raises-questions/"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">asamnews.com/2026/01/16/autist</span><span class="invisible">ic-woman-ice-arrest-raises-questions/</span></a></p><p><a href="/tags/icesucks/" rel="tag">#ICESucks</a> <a href="/tags/iceout/" rel="tag">#ICEOut</a> <a href="/tags/iceoutforgood/" rel="tag">#ICEOutForGood</a></p>
<p>A thousand words on two and a half years of knowing I was autistic. I'd love you to read it.</p><p><a href="https://matricardo.substack.com/p/i-didnt-always-know" rel="nofollow" class="ellipsis" title="matricardo.substack.com/p/i-didnt-always-know"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">matricardo.substack.com/p/i-di</span><span class="invisible">dnt-always-know</span></a></p><p><a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#autism</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/neurodiversity/" rel="tag">#neurodiversity</a> <a href="/tags/neurodivergent/" rel="tag">#neurodivergent</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#actuallyautistic</a> <a href="/tags/disabled/" rel="tag">#disabled</a></p>
<p>I am so dissociated that I'm amazed I can even engage in brief conversations.<br><a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#Autism</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/neurodiverse/" rel="tag">#neurodiverse</a> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> <a href="/tags/autisticburnout/" rel="tag">#AutisticBurnout</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#ActuallyAutistic</a></p>
Edited 93d ago
<p>A rare <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> moment of boost fame - hard to come by (Golden Tortoise Beetle post today). Surely they'll kick me out of the Halls of Banghalla once they find out. Don't tell them, OK? <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> <a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#autism</a></p>
Edited 88d ago
<p><a href="/tags/wednesday/" rel="tag">#Wednesday</a> S02 is super enjoyable!<a href="/tags/fobi/" rel="tag">#FOBI</a> = Fear Of Being IncludedYeah, /metoo<a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#ActuallyAutistic</a> <a href="/tags/autisticactually/" rel="tag">#AutisticActually</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> <a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#Autism</a></p>
<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> </p><p>Poll for the <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a>. It's said that people with <a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#Autism</a> tend to like music for the drum beats especially. The patterns and rhythm apparently appeal to an Autistic person's love of logic and predictability. Do you agree with this? Do you especially like a good drum beat?</p>
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<p>As an <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> person, I feel like I can almost always tell when someone who is neurotypical answers my email inquiries. </p><p>I'll send out a message with a VERY precise question about a VERY precise problem, only to get paragraphs of convoluted word salad in return that confuses me. </p><p>I don't understand it. This has happened, and continues to happen, in all aspects of my life. </p><p>I'm trying really hard not to be an asshole by posting about this -- but I feel like my fellow autistic folks might be able to relate. It takes us *so* much energy just to sort out what I need to ask, how to phrase it, and the courage to send it -- only to get replies like that in return. It's exhausting. </p><p>(and no, I'm not talking about AI chatbots for large corporations, I'm talking about emails to actual people.)</p>
Edited 86d ago
<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@actuallyadhd" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>actuallyadhd</span></a></span> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span></p><p>My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it. <br>Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣</p><p>Stricter morning routine? <br>- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole? <br>🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day. </p><p>- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into? <br>My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks. </p><p>One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food. <br>Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening. </p><p>I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.<br>… That's if I remember 😅.</p><p><a href="/tags/audhd/" rel="tag">#AuDHD</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> <a href="/tags/adhd/" rel="tag">#ADHD</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyadhd/" rel="tag">#ActuallyADHD</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#ActuallyAutistic</a> <br><a href="/tags/hyperfocus/" rel="tag">#Hyperfocus</a> <a href="/tags/timeblindness/" rel="tag">#TimeBlindness</a> <a href="/tags/executivedysfunction/" rel="tag">#ExecutiveDysfunction</a> <br><a href="/tags/mindfog/" rel="tag">#MindFog</a> <a href="/tags/burnout/" rel="tag">#Burnout</a> <a href="/tags/spoons/" rel="tag">#Spoons</a> <a href="/tags/nospoons/" rel="tag">#NoSpoons</a> <a href="/tags/lackoffocus/" rel="tag">#LackOfFocus</a> <a href="/tags/selfcare/" rel="tag">#SelfCare</a></p>
<p><a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#Autistic</a> <a href="/tags/trauma/" rel="tag">#trauma</a> <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> <br>Had multiple “to-the-core” challenges to sense of self due to misunderstanding from NTs in recent months. <a href="/tags/rsd/" rel="tag">#RSD</a> reactions: Is it me or them; IYKYK. </p><p>Not sure if this is old trauma coming up for processing… Or me finding it harder to relate to people after choosing a quieter life. That helps a lot, but maybe my social skills are in decline. </p><p>Wonder if other (particularly female) late Dx folk feel this too? Esp if you’re post-menopausal.</p>
<p>Fellow autistics, how do you avoid litigating every social interaction that didn't go as planned in your head over and over and over for hours after the fact? Repeatedly telling myself "you didn't do anything wrong, their reaction was their fault not yours and you were in the right" is not working <a href="/tags/autism/" rel="tag">#autism</a> <a href="/tags/actuallyautistic/" rel="tag">#actuallyautistic</a> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a></p>
Edited 79d ago
<p>I like the concept of a Parisian bakery, but not the shit ton of people in too small a space. <span class="h-card"><a href="https://fedigroups.social/@autistics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>autistics</span></a></span> <a href="/tags/autistic/" rel="tag">#autistic</a> <a href="/tags/autisticadult/" rel="tag">#autisticadult</a> <a href="/tags/sensoryoverstimulation/" rel="tag">#sensoryoverstimulation</a></p>