Looking For Group: is there an audhd support chat (ideally not on discord, but I'll take what I can get) where we all validate each other after doing meager amounts of focused work, because I yearn for positive reinforcement that I'm not getting on my own
Today I had to think about a post I read some time ago, that stated that all cats are autistic and dogs are ADHD. You know these videos or stories where a cat instigates the dog in the household to help them steal food from the counter or do other forbidden things for them? Yeah, that’s me being AuDHD.
If I want to be somewhere at 6:30pm, I have to start planning and preparing to get there the night before. Am I alone in this?
Stupid to say, but I’m starting to wonder how bad it would have been to have been an institutionalized disabled person instead of living among the regular folks and thinking I was supposed to be one of them.
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I mean, of course not, but I haven’t been having a good time out here either. I’m grasping at straws. 😬💜
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#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #ND @autistics
I'm getting a lot out of the Neurodivergent Insights newsletter by Dr. Megan Anna Neff. For example, this post about the overlap of ADHD and autism:
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/misdiagnosis-monday/adhd-vs-autism/
Dr. Neff is herself AuDHD who turned her hyperfocus on her neurotype into a PhD in psychology. She's also raising a neurodivergent kid with strong PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance, which she calls Pervasive Drive for Autonomy):
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/pda-or-demand-avoidance/
It is that deep.
Reality is complex and feelings can be intense and should not be suppressed. Allowing yourself to feel deeply and acknowledging problems is rational and necessary for personal growth.
It’s your decision if you want to stay on the surface, be boring asf and mourn your inner emptiness to be perceived as cool or if you take a deep dive into the ocean and allow yourself to have intense moments of joy, pain and deep connections with your inner and outer world.
I know it’s an individual thing and unmasking neurodivergence can be a question of safety, but for me personally the latter is an important part of being AuDHD.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #neurodivergent #AutisticJoy
@autistics
One annoying feature of my AuDHD is the difficulty to finish projects. I have started so many cool art projects over the years but once the initial hyperfocus wears off, many of them are simply abandoned. What suits me is a quick project. I've been super prolific in releasing tracks for the racing game GeneRally, for example.
Said that, I have finished several larger projects as well but often it requires that they lay dormant for x amount of time until I come back to finish them. I guess the most important projects get eventually finished. Anyway, creating is super fun but editing not so much. Proof for this: six or seven novel manuscripts that haven't gotten past the first draft. More or less, all of them have been quick projects, mostly NaNoWriMo.
Another annoying feature is that it's often difficult for me to start a new project before the previous one is finished. This doesn't work well with the first feature. Fortunately it's genre specific. I can start a new music project even when my poetry book is not ready, for instance. All those novels? I guess that in my mind, the first draft is the finished product so I am able to move on. Would be nice to get them further, though, there are cool stories and ideas.
Like many autistic people I am not a fan of icebreakers, introducing myself, but I love lists. So I made a list of things that are important to me. I recently discovered this as a powerful tool for self reflection, but it can also help building connections with other people.
So if many things on this list resonate with you, feel free to send me a dm or give me a follow. We might have a lot to share with each other. 🙂
I put a CW on the list and added it as a subtoot to this post, because it became a very long list.
Boosts are welcome.
but seriously, I need to stop talking. It’s like trying to explain to a bear why it shouldn’t be a bear, isn’t it 😠
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#ND #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @autistics
I just had an idea that I want to run by the neurodivergent community as a possible way that some of us might be able to help each other. I have no idea if anyone would be interested in trying it, or even if it would work, so I want to know what others think.
If you want, you can skip down to "The Idea" below, or you can bare with me for a tiny bit of background first for some context.
So like many of us I have executive function issues. For me, when I get a new interest, I hyperfocus on it for a couple of weeks or months, and then I stop. Not because I lose interest in it, it's more like running out of gas while still on the road: you really want to keep going, but the damn thing just won't move. This is not really a problem for most of my interests, but for certain projects, it can leave them unfinished, which really frustrates me.
So far the only thing that I've found that can give me energy to continue a project is engagement. If I can find someone to talk to about it, that helps. If they talk with me about it, that helps more. If they actually work with me on the project (assuming that it's the kind of project that someone can help with), that helps the most. The trouble of course has been finding people who are also interested in the same thing(s), thus this pretty much never happens for me.
But now I recall some people in the autistic/ND community saying that they actually like listening to other people info-dump about their special interest(s). So this got me thinking...
The Idea:
Basically this shares some traits with body doubling and mutual aid. If someone like me needs engagement to work on a project (or maybe even just share an interest for the sake of some social contact), and someone else would be interested in helping out this way, the second person would be like their interest-buddy (hopefully a better name will be found). Kind of like how some people help others by body-doubling, except this will be with talking or maybe even participating instead of presence. And like body doubling, it can be a one time thing, an ongoing arrangement of some kind, whatever the two (or more?) people agree on. But unlike body doubling, it can be done (well more easily anyway) over the internet. Social media posts, DMs, chats, voice, whatever. Of course discovery would an issue, but no different than for body doubling or mutual aid, so I'll leave that issue.
So how about it? Is there any merit to this? Any use? Any interest? (And I mean in general, not just for me.)
#ActuallyAutistic @autistics #ActuallyADHD #neurodivergent #AuDHD #ADHD
It is SO SURREAL sometimes, to have spent my entire childhood and about half my adult life getting absolutely mauled by the world for my neurodivergence, only to find myself now in this position where I'm the one whom neurotypical friends come to when their partners and coworkers with ADHD or autism are doing something weird. Suddenly I'm the spouse whisperer! It's hilarious.
Before this the world was like, "What's WRONG with you??!!"
Now, the world is sweetly like, "Hi, can I have a moment of your time? Can you help me understand what's wrong with this other person?"
What proportion of your classic autistic symptoms do you think are due to you being autistic, and what proportion may be due to trauma you've suffered?
List of trauma symptoms here, for those not familiar: https://www.neurofabulous.org.uk/trauma-symptoms.html
List of classic autistic symptoms, as listed in the DSM, here: https://www.autismspeaks.org/autism-diagnostic-criteria-dsm-5
#Autism #ASD #Autistic #AuDHD #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #Trauma #CPTSD #ActuallyAutistic
they meet you and your outsized sense of fairness and they are fascinated, enamoured, and you are a little RPG game for them, a fantasy weekend 🤨🫣
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@autistics
#ND #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD
"weltschmerz"
German translation in ALT-text.
deutsche Übersetzung im ALT-Text
My brain's been serving up some real darkness lately.
(And when an #ActuallyAutistic brain latches onto something, it COMMITS 🙃)
So I'm reminding myself that in this world (especially at this time) ✨#Autistic Joy✨ is an act of defiant resistance.
And I'll be damned if I don't remember to stand in awe of all I've weathered, and of our #neurodivergent culture as a whole.
@actuallyautistic
been posting to the hashtags but I’ve been forgetting the group. I don’t know how long that’s been the case. Oops.
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#ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD @autistics
Last post of the week!
How recent World Of Warcraft changes have made the game more AuDHD and Disability friendly.
Dear non-autistic folk, AKA (also known as) allistic's. It's that time of the year again. Autism awareness month. That time when you can become aware of autistic's, raise some money and generally show your worth by acknowledging, if nothing else, our existence. Good on you. Although, I suppose it may come as a bit of a shock to know that we don't actually want awareness.
Awareness can and has been historically, "look at their difference," closely followed by "stone them, burn them, they're a witch". Or, being left to die alone in the woods, because they think that you are a changeling and have taken their beloved child. Or simply hearing someone telling a parent, or carer, "Oh, look at them, they are so special. That must be so hard for you, looking after them, I couldn't possibly do that". Or from someone, "but you don't look autistic, I know what autism looks like" and dying a little more inside. Not to mention, in this day and age especially, that we often have minds that see the patterns of the future writ large upon the wall in blood and knowing it will be our blood if the wrong people are only just aware of us and want to use that politically.
So no, we don't want awareness. Awareness is, at best, thinking that you know us, that you can see us. Awareness is feeling good about acknowledging our existence, not our lives. What we want and need is understanding. Understanding that we are different, not less than, or greater. That our minds and senses and bodies work differently to yours. That we have different needs and abilities and challenges. That the world you have made, is, in so many ways, difficult, if not impossible for us and that it is the reason why we so often struggle, or can't cope and not because we are deficient in some way. That we are not missing something (which is why most of us hate the puzzle symbol), or broken, or anything other than just different.
A difference that can't be seen from the outside looking in. By studying us from your point of view, or judging us by your standards. It has to be explained and understood by us telling and showing you. By us sharing our experiences, and knowledge and understanding. By working with us and not in spite of us. Because as minorities have called for throughout the ages, there should be nothing about us, without us, not if you want anything to be in any way meaningful, or true.
Only by truly understanding this. By learning to listen and value our opinions and stories, will you begin to understand and finally grow into where we really need you to be. Accepting us and not just aware of us. Accepting us truly as we are, in all our variety and complexity and not just thinking that you do. So enough of awareness month. Perhaps aim for something better.
I offer 20% off at my Etsy shop for all folks who find me through Mastodon. Code: MASTO20
https://brittbuilds3d.etsy.com
When you use the code, I'll also add a small extra fidget to your order as a thank you for your support. 
You don't have to disclose who you are if you don't want to! 
When I see the code on the order, I'll know how you found me. 
Here are a few examples of the custom fidget toys I craft for my store:
#ADHD #Autistic #AUDHD #SmallBusiness #Etsy #BrittBuilds3D
My business is Canadian 
, neurodiversity friendly 
, and queer owned. 
"Large social gatherings provide ample opportunity to observe the behaviour of biological lifeforms." Isaac - #TheOrville
...But it heckin' wears me out.
#AuDHD @autistics #ActuallyAutistic #Spoonie @actuallyadhd #ADHD #Autistic
Understanding yourself and knowing what you want can lead to a dating profile that is more of an essay or even a novel. While I do have a draft of such an essay on my phone, this is not how I want to do it. Words can easily be misunderstood and there’s a lot of nuance to most topics. Getting to know a person takes time and I prefer to do that in the form of a dialogue.
So, if my Mastodon profile and the content I posted seem appealing to you, feel free to send me a dm (@me) and find out if we are a good match for a friendship or relationship online or IRL. You don’t have to agree on everything, I like to be challenged and explore new perspectives.
Boosts are welcome, it’s not easy to find your people as an AuDHD person.
Well the rejection sensitivity is strong today.
After months of looking for a family doctor, I finally got to "meet and greet" one several weeks ago. So, after not hearing anything in all that time I decide to call the clinic to find out what's happening. Turns out I was not accepted, but no one told me! Gee, thanks. I guess I'll just start all over again. It's not like I have anything better to do.
these days it’s always, Am I managing this for my weirdness, or am I just fucking it up? (It’s about the guitar right now, but kind of about anything I do.)
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Mostly somewhere between, some from column A, some from column B, kind of thing.
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#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD @autistics
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![Avatar for Emily Moran Barwick [archived]](/proxy/identity_icon/280779823553852866/0ce5ffc456.png){kind=icon}
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