【#aromantic 相关/与友聊天随想】
Edited 1y ago
aromantic
I suppose an introduction is in order. Better make one before I forget...
I'm Ferrus, your local queer goat! 🐐
I'm a #pansexual, #agender, and #aromantic of the #autistic #furry variety! My presentation is primarily feminine, though I incorporate some masculine or neutral pieces when the mood strikes me.
I was born and raised in #newzealand, though you wouldn't know that from my accent, a weird american-british-kiwi hybrid.
My Hobbies/Special Interests include but are not limited to: #linux, #anime, #vidogames, #tabletop, #books, #movies, #tv, #space, #fantasy, #sciencefiction, #oldtechnology, #lego, and #sustainablefashion
My favourite pieces of media are: #Warhammer40K, #TheExpanse, #StarTrek, #StarBlazers, #Tensura, #DungeonsAndDragons, #Pathfinder, #WorldofDarkness, #Stargate, and the #nasuverse
I may occasionally toot about these
Currently looking for education in some kind of Systems Administration Role, and run #NixOS on a daily basis. I also build my own machines.
My toots and boosts may occasionally be #NSFW. DNI with these unless you are of legal age.
Feel free to DM me, unless you're a #troll, #bigot, or anything else of the sort.
Offenders will find themselves fed to an Elder Wyrm (the mute/block button)
Edited 89d ago
分享一个我觉得不错的 #aromantic 采访，采访对象都是在Aro-spec上全无浪漫吸引的一端或感到Romance Repulse（浪漫吸引厌恶）的人。
看到这个视频是因为我想到既然有人Sex- repulsed那么应该就有romance-repulsed，我不太能relate sex-repulse（因为没有个人感受）但是我有一种模糊的感觉就是我可能一直以来都有一些romance-repulse。我讨厌身边人对浪漫关系的炫耀讨论和（过分）关注，同时又有如果我不参与其中自己会被朋友们落下的焦虑，然而我一直都不知道怎么能和大家一样have crush。在我自己的亲密关系里一旦对方有浪漫期待我就不断感到guilty且会觉得对方应该离开我。但我同时又很喜欢亲密关系给我带来的deeply-attached friendship，在我不知道可以建立aromantic的关系之前我不得不总是把自己一直塞到这种浪漫的亲密关系里不断被这种guilt和不配得感折磨。
我很喜欢里面一位采访对象讲起自己的老婆的时候说我不想和她当众牵手不代表我不想为她付出一切，而且就像是你的对象喜欢一个你很讨厌的颜色一样，如果你很爱对方一年两三次可以配合着穿穿那颜色的衣服——这几乎是我一直以来都在做的事，只是我现在终于理解了Aros and allos are acting on different drive。
最近我尤其感到认同我的Ace身份让我在很多时候都在和我的shame作斗争，和别人那些“那你这样不是浪漫/sexual吗”的质疑作斗争，但看到/读到这样的采访的每一次，我都能稍微更坚定一点和自己说my identity is valid and I spoke for my own experience and I don’t need validation from anyone else.
Edited 1y ago
Realising that you are #Asexual or #Aromantic can be quite difficult because, like autism, it is a spectrum. As much as the various aspects, like being full ace, or demi, or anything else are often described as fixed points on a scale. The reality is actually a lot more fluid and even changeable over time. Especially around sex and sexual attraction and how they work, or don't work. So it's difficult sometimes to identify with it, with any real confidence.
Add in being Audhd and it becomes even more difficult and perhaps even more fluid. Because, in my case, being more Demi-sexual, than anything. It is all about getting to really know and respect the person and without being able to do that, there is no real possibility of sexual, or romantic connection. And of course, the one thing we find difficult, is getting to know people. Or, perhaps, the right people. Because for the level of connection required, compatibility really is the key. And often, for us, feeling safe enough to be able to make that connection, isn't always the easiest thing to do and neither is finding the people who we even are compatible with.
This is but one of the many reasons why I think places like this are so important. We are a community within which it's possible to find and establish this. And I have been incredibly lucky enough to have been able to do so, where, I know, I never would have anywhere else.
I am in an open relationship with @KaCi a beautiful, incredible, polyamorous, woman who I love beyond measure and who loves me. And without this place, that would never have happened. It reminds me, that despite everything going on in the world, joy and beauty and wondrous intensity are still possible and in its own way, often made so by places like this. And I will always be grateful for it and for all of you who make it this way and of course, most especially for KaCi, for making this wonder possible.