Eggplant.place

266d

Can I report myself for cyberbullying?

#DevOps #Programming #Agile

Two column, three row meme. Left column has Victoria Beckham sitting on a couch, documentary framing. Right column has David Beckham leaking through a doorway

“We use Agile”
“Be honest”
“We implemented SCRUM for our tasks”
“I said honest”
“We cut waterfall into sprints”
“Thank you”

ALT

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248d

This seems accurate #agile #SoftwareDevelopment

It’s a meme! Reads something like:

STOP DOING AGILE
• REQUIREMENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE EVERY TWO WEEKS
• YEARS of ESTIMATING yet no real-world evidence of anything getting done faster
• "In order to reduce process we add more process" - statement dreamed up by the UTTERLY DERANGED
• POKER is a GAME not a PLANNING TOOL
• T-shirt size estimation belongs in the CLOTHING STORE not SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT
• "Points represent complexity, not time"
YET YOU KEEP MEASURING HOW MANY POINTS FIT IN A WEEK??
• People who want to "BURN DOWN" belongs in JAIL not run software teams
• Same goes for people doing GROOMING
This is REAL SCRUM done by REAL scrum masters:

Pretend there’s a bunch of burndown charts here.

They have played us for absolute fools

ALT

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199d

I think I have to make a statement.

I liked working with #NovellNetware - versions 3 and 4.
I’m a big fan of #LotusNotes. It was hard getting used to not having it in my toolbox.
I believe that #agile values and principles are a good foundation for organizing team work and some most frameworks are a good starting point for using them.
I like #Atlassian #Jira and #Confluence.
I love working in a well designed #OpenOfficeSpace|s

Any takers?