If I have an attention deficit, I think it’s on purpose, like the lesser of two evils. I’d rather miss something than have to keep trying to give this Other People’s World my full attention all the time, the content is kind of all the same.
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Same as everyone maybe, I limit my attention in self defense. I mean, if everyone knows what’s going on and is telling the truth about it, sure, stop and listen, but - ‘nuff said.
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It it’s all, “It’s a good life if you don’t weaken,” and, “Resistance is futile,” on loop, then I can get the message quick enough with half an ear, that doesn’t require all my resources and why would would I stop my reading to listen to that still, it’s been playing all my goddam life.
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@autistics #ND #AuDHD #ActuallyAutistic
actuallyautistic
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic was watching "Love, Simon" over the weekend for the 29th time (thank you #Letterboxd for keeping me honest) and the scene where Simon comes out to Abby started me thinking…
…i came out as gay in 1993 and as autistic in 2024 (late diagnosed)...
...and among my "friends” coming out as gay was received far better than coming out as autistic…
…no one stopped talking to be coming out as gay, but a lot of people did coming out as autistic…
…just me?
Edited 140d ago
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 969 , Tuesday 23/06/2026
Tuesday started early, with my brain deciding that since it was up at 06:30 yesterday it might as well get into the habit of getting up that early!
It’s been a mostly quiet day today, although I did go out this evening to get a blackout roman blind for my room, having been inspired by the one I put up for Mrs S.
The current plan is to put up a long shelf above the window & attached to the blind to that.
I was going to do it this evening but I need to completely clear my desk & that will take far too long so tomorrow it is!
Final Thoughts.
I wanted to take Mrs S out for her tea on the way back from picking up the blind, but she wasn’t up for that so I went on my own to get the blind & had a couple of mini pizzas when got home instead. Joy.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
My doctor tells me that I need to have social engagement, where I am face to face with other people. I am looking for ideas that I could learn to tolerate. What do you folks do for community involvement?
I'm not especially social, although I am able to appear sociable. I can improve what I eat, how I exercise, when I sleep, and I easily find interesting topics to study; but, the doctor says social engagement is important for longevity. My complaint is, that involves people! I cannot count my weekly market shopping for groceries; and, I cannot count my walking the dog; and, I cannot count texting with family. I am uncomfortable spending time with more than one or two people, but now I am considering joining a club or getting a gym membership or taking a class in something as part of my healthy life style now that I'm retired so that I would remain in good health.
I can function around people, but it helps if my thoughts are focused on an interesting topic rather than on thoughts of anxiety and distrust. I should look for and list options, but I could use suggestions from folks here to give me workable ideas.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic #ND #auDHD
Still getting the hang of reaching of reaching our community since the changes. So reboosting this full article...
https://neurodifferent.me/@johnnyprofane1/116795576211665021
@autistics
I have this provocative, neurospicy theory about the psychology underpinning the whole #AI gold rush that goes like this. Those who think (or at least profess) that #LLMs are some sort of panacea for humanity - they simply have higher Narcissistic personality trait, causing them to think that way.
When I model the thinking of someone with high narcissistic personality trait, they have no qualms (and feel very entitled) about taking advantage of those they believe to be beneath them (everybody else). This matches very nicely to how whomever recklessly vibe codes, assumes there is an infinite, free supply of labour of people out there (nameless, faceless, expendable "flying monkeys") who will review and correct their bad code. (To the responsible, sober, prudent users of LLMs, who do their own verification and testing of all output, I have no qualms with you, please carry on)
Here's my point: if you've ever spent any amount of time in close proximity with a narcissistic leader, you'll see that _they too_ boldly and toxicly overestimate their competence in the same way. After creating and introducing all sorts of preventable, even predictable, deep architectural and systemic embarrassments in their poorly-formulated, grandiose plans (take for example, Trump invading Iran), they figure it'll be their underlings who clean everything up. Which is to say, everyone else. It's a toxic externalizing of culpability and due diligence, with predictable, avoidable messes to clean up - but not by them.
#Psychology #ActuallyAutistic
Edited 139d ago
Bonjour,
Avec mes recherches sur l'autisme, j'ai récolté plusieurs ressources intéressantes. Mais, j'aurais besoin d'étoffer un peu les ressources francophones surtout. J'ai un chéri qui est directement concerné et qui maintenant veut en savoir un peu plus sur les life hacks, le diag tardif, etc. pour les autistes.
Podcast, blog, articles divers, livres, vidéos, balancez ce que vous avez, s'il vous plaît (je répète UNIQUEMENT du francophone, merci :))
Merci pour lui 🥰
when I name a thing and you call me a hater for it that’s you naming me to hate me because that’s your world where everyone is a hater, and that’s true of everyone and everyone can be accused of it and be guilty - your world, the majority type’s worldview and world.
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Somehow hating everyone with an opinion like that doesn’t count, if you hate all of humanity you are somehow not a hater (EDIT TO ADD: as long as We are All the Same)!
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But describe anything less than everyone including yourself and you’re the hater.
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That’s all the majority type’s psychology. As per another thread on here, my sort can name things for informational purposes, we don’t name them to place them in the outgroup, identification and hate are separate matters for the non-Allistic.
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Naming them in particular draws the accusation of hate because they are less separate things for the Allistics and so the accusation is automatic for them, if there is a name there is hate.
.
I suppose this is why they only like “normal,” and nothing specific, like Allistic, or heterosexual, or cis, for them a name is a threat, that’s what names are for. 💜
.
@autistics
#ActuallyAutistic #ND #AuDHD #
Edited 163d ago
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 946 , Sunday 31/05/2026
Sunday started at around 07:30 after a short lie in.
Made breakfast & did my chores then we went across to my late MiLs & had a busy but productive morning.
I took down 2 eye level cupboards, dismantled a large set of freestanding shelves & also deinstalled the stairlift which has been tripping me up for months - there is now an obstacle free staircase!
We got home around 13:30 so I made us lunch - ham & tomato sarnies.
Then I fitted the eye level cupboards - which went fine until I discovered only 2 of the 3 supports were identical & so there had to be some adjustments.
I was going to rebuild the freestanding shelves but discovered that I had left all the fittings behind - neatly stored in a little tub, but sadly not subsequently transferred to the car!
Mrs S reckons she might pick them up tomorrow while she is out.
Final Thoughts.
There was much frustration today, mainly centred around the fact that I did 99% of the work while Mrs S looked on smugly & proudly announcing that one cannot teach an old dog new tricks - which to me smacks of being an excuse for none participation!
Hey ho, I have gotten things done today so there is a definite sense of accomplishment.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Two Facts That Noone Asked For About White Noise* and My Brain**:
1. My brain will be utterly convinced there is music in the white noise when I am tired. It’s usually cheerful music of some sort.
2. I can’t actually “listen” to my body very well when there is white noise. And I’m one of those who senses all the things, usually. Feels like my brain is too overloaded.
* = These facts are sponsored by the noisy fans around me right now at home due to this week’s climate change heatwave.
** = I wonder how much of this is due to being #ActuallyAutistic ? @autistics
I have been on both sides of this story.
Graduating in the 1970s as an undx autistic woman I completely lacked the skills required to identify & apply for any kind of suitable work. I spent 8 years on dole. None of the help I received was useful & the constant rejection was soul destroying. After a while I decided to see the payments as an arts grant, & pursued deep dives into special interests, meeting likeminded people & having adventures. Eventually I joined the APS via the clerical entrance exam & that environment, with its clear hierarchies & explicit rules, suited me well. I worked across a lifespan of social policy areas & by the time privatisation of government services became a thing was in a role whose job was to make our part of the organisation look as if it was delivering the services we were funded to do while also providing services to commercial clients & running a surplus - all the while keeping our unionised professional staff happy by ensuring minimal change to their work. In practice this meant providing people on benefits with minimal services while recording them as greater than they were, providing lucrative services to our commercial clients & showing most of their payments as profit. This situation was intolerable to me & as I was unable not to name it my time there was colourful. When I returned to policy work it became increasingly clear that our job was to tell the minister what they wanted to hear, bc if the minister didn’t like what they heard from us they’d buy their research & policy advice elsewhere. We would routinely assess tenders for projects that were transparently designed to deliver the desired results. Escaping into a career in research saved my life.
I was completely unsurprised by #RoboDebt. Colleen Taylor is a hero.
In such environments the price of a career is collusion. No wonder autistic folx burn out & leave.
#PublicAdministration #AusPol #unemployment #ActuallyAutistic #ethics
my peer-support group coaching begins on July 9th and if you're looking to get support, learn more about leaning into yourself, and build community while doing so, this is for you.
https://www.theautisticcoach.com/late-diagnosed-late-identified-autistic-workshop
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this is what most people in my life don’t understand...
…they all treat my continuing to fight a seemingly futile battle as not worth my time…
...or theirs
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 947 , Monday 01/06/2026
Up almost before the crack of sparrows fart this morning, next door’s kids playing a blinder & beating what sounded like a kettle drum at a quarter to six in the very AM!
Down to the gym, it was a hard session today, I seemed to have no energy!
Got home, breakfasted & then did my chores.
Cleansed the radiator out of Mrs S’s study / box room before refitting it - I’ve left tell-tales on overnight to check for leaks.
Got on the PS5 this afternoon. Am enjoying Starfield enormously!
Quiche & salad for tea
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day & Mrs S is pleased with the progress in her study - hopefully we will have her ensconced in there by the end of the week!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Most people picture autism as a line from "a little autistic" to "very autistic."
That's not what the spectrum means.
#Autism is not a dial, but a different way of seeing.
🔗 raphink.info/autism
#actuallyautistic #neurodiversity @autistics
🧵
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic just finished a meeting with my board and work HR...
…we were presenting the results of a survey on a policy change we conducted...
…and somehow us doing our duty to advocate for our constituency was, in their view…
…”doing something to them”…
...how is this considered normal, professional behavior?
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic i like to go the extra mile and actively thwart their fuckery proactively
I've wondered why I have both the need to be seen and the need not to be seen. In the last couple of years I've incorporated flashier accessories and clothes to my outfits as I've understood who I really am and what I want to wear, caring less about other people's opinions.
Today I walked in the city centre and from the corners of my eyes noticed many people looking at me. That's not a surprise, my outfit certainly stood out from the crowd. Then it hit me: I have the need to be seen as my true self. I want to be seen under my own terms. The need not to be seen, on the other hand, stems from the fear of sticking out for the wrong reasons. That's a trauma response.
I loved that people looked at me. I'm sure my outfit was too much to some. I don't care. I felt wonderful!
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 970 , Wednesday 24/06/2026
Up at 6am then down to the gym.
I was going to put up a shelf & the new blind in my room today but I had forgotten that Mrs S was in the office & it’s a 2m long blind so a 2 person job! Also it was hotter than a rattlesnakes armpit!
So I did some tidying up in preparation for Friday, the next time Mrs S is home, when hopefully work will progress!
Out exploring the universe again today in Starfield, there is sooo much to explore!
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day, I hope that this heat wave passes soon!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
RE: https://mastodon.social/@filmfreak75/116677213465697393
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic had a really bad night's sleep since i couldn’t get “something being done to us” out of my head…
…pretty fucked up when the people with all the power think the people with no power, simply asking questions, is an act of aggression
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic i have a lot of #Swell products...
…and just had to add this to my collection since it is too cute
In the past, about this time on a Friday I would feel all energy having left my body, and the gears in my brain slowly grinding to a halt, wondering how I would make it till the end of the day and the week. TGIF haha
Well, I'm glad to report that ever since I've started working on my nonprofit Aut2Aut over a year ago, not only do I make my schedule in a way that allows me to get things done when I'm in a flow state, even if it's a Sunday, and even if I forget to eat or to call it a night, while also not burning out trying to force it when I just can't.
The price to pay has been dealing with incedible amounts of soul-crushing bureaucracy. And this is what the second episode of my podcast, The Autistic Rant Hour, is about. So if you want to learn or comiserate about what it's like to start a nonprofit in Germany after getting laid off, listen wherever you get your podcasts, or get all the relevant links, human-proofread transcripts and RSS feed here:
https://prepped.to/podcasts/autistic-rant-hour
I hope you like this episode and my podcast, and if you do, please subscribe, like and comment, it really helps exposure 🙏