@autistics #ActuallyAutistic as a cat caregiver for the past 25 years, they do make things better…
actuallyautistic
Katta's new fringe, AuDHD edition.
After decades of not having a fringe, I decide that I want one. I resit the ADHD impulse to do it myself and make an appointment at my hairdresser, bringing pictures of curtains bangs.
After less than an hour later sensory issues drive me crazy, the hairdresser doesn't answer the phone. I remember where I actually saw the fringe I wanted, look at old pictures of Jane Birkin and cut it myself. Now I have the fringe I wanted an no sensory issues, because the hair doesn't touch my eyelids. Happy End.
Edited 183d ago
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 878 , Tuesday 24/03/2026
Tuesday started slightly later than Monday but not by much, I was up & downstairs making breakfast before 07:30.
I had hoped that there might be lie ins given Mrs S is on her hollibobs but no such luck!
Did my chores & worked on reorganising my desk, I think I have it cracked!
Lunch, in the shape of a black pudding scotch egg, courtesy of Chatsworth’s farm shop was followed by an expedition out to Costco™, partially for shopping & partially to get a couple of new tyres. Mrs S had booked us in for a 2pm tyre change which essentially gutted the afternoon.
I’ve done something to my back & right leg, both of which were objecting to wandering around the store!
Got back just after 4pm, unloaded & then we watched Jurassic World - the 4th in the JP fest & one of my faves.
We had a naughty takeaway for tea, Mrs S had her usual scampi & chips and I tried something new - Peri peri chicken (the garlic & herb one) with chips. I quite enjoyed it although it was a little spicier than I normally like my chicken. I might try it with rice next time. I do think I prefer it to fried chicken.
Also booked tickets to go see Project Hail Mary at the IMAX next week!
We had a really windy & rainy late afternoon / evening despite there being no storm warning or indeed any weather warning at all.
Final Thoughts.
There were definitely signs that my brain was not overly happy with me while I was in Costco™, mostly a little dizziness & the feeling that I needed to ‘pop’ my ears. Hey ho, I made it home in one piece!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic me every time i need to go to the office to “check
the mail”…
…the most ridiculous requirement of my work accommodation…
…because we rarely, if ever, get physical mail anymore
If I can have my current lifestyle, it is because I made sensible decisions in the past, and that I did not go overboard with spending money.
Sometimes, I look at my younger partners and I feel that they haven't had this lesson inculcated into them, and I worry about their future.
Note that I never felt that I was restricting myself. I just don't play the social game well. I don't need to keep up with the Joneses. Sure, sometimes I do feel envy at what others possess, but that's a fleeting feeling.
I haven't been restricting myself. At the same time, the decisions that I've made were, for the most part, sensible.
Back when my ex-wife and I were looking to buy a house, the bank was ready to lend us enough money to buy a mansion, but we did not. The first house we bought together was a town house that cost way under what the bank was ready to lend us. We knew that if we took the bait, we'd be working insane hours just to keep the house. We then moved to an almost 9-acre lot in the woods, but again, we were reasonable.
My car is a reasonable car too. Oh, I owned a truck, and a UTV when I lived in the woods, but there was a reason for it. I sold that truck shortly after my divorce. It was too big, and too costly for my lifestyle.
Most days my lunch is breakfast cookies and two mandarins. I don't need anything fancy. My breakfast is not any fancier. My suppers are a bit more fancy but not by much. I still go to restaurants when I have the opportunity.
Needless to say that I have never had credit card debt. I still have a student loan, but it is at a super low rate. (Yes, I was lucky.)
I don't know how much of this will resonate or not with other autistic folks, but that's the way I roll, and this way has allowed me to not end up homeless after my divorce and cancer.
Again, I think my younger partners (who are also ND) have not learned how to manage money, and I'm at a loss as to how to inculcate this in them.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic nothing more powerful than being seen…
…happy 2nd diagnosis day anniversary to me
Is empathy political?
An article on autistic empathy.
#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #AuDHD #Neurodiversity #Empathy #DoubleEmpathy
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic been really enjoying Josh's reels and this one was affirming and enlightening
🇨🇦Does anyone like to hear anecdotes of autistic joy?
I just read a post talking about autistic people's love of trains, and while I don't share that particular one exactly, I do have one or two other loves when it comes to infrastructure.
When I was in elementary school, we had a vending machine for milk, but it was always out of order. This made me sad because there was just something about getting nourishment from a machine that captured me. It wasn't until the last day of school that, on my way out with my mother, I noticed that the machine was now working. I insisted that she buy me some milk from it, which I'm sure seemed weird, but even by then I was used to being unusual.
The apex of this particular love came when my older brother took me to the college he was going to (I was still pre-teen at that point). I don't remember why we went there, but he took me to the lunchroom (or whatever it was called) to get something to eat. All along one wall was a bank of vending machines of every kind. And along another wall were floor to ceiling windows overlooking the airport (we were a few stories up).
The high I felt, eating my favorite soup* from a can both from and pre-heated by a machine while watching planes come and go was indescribable. I desperately wanted to go back but alas, never got to.
* Actually I'm not sure if it was my favorite soup at the time, or if that's when it became my favorite soup. 🤷
what we thought we knew about autism and... whatnot
'For decades, researchers had been measuring the wrong thing. Conflating communication style differences with empathy deficits produced dramatically inflated effect sizes and an illusion of empathy impairment'
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 873 , Thursday 19/03/2026
Thursday was another early start, at just before 7am. Today I managed to get myself up & organised in a weekly personal best of 10 minutes!
I have been tired all day even though it’s been sunny, I guess without the sun I would have been near catatonic!
I’ve done bits & bobs but not been able to settle into anythingor very long.
I did do a search for one of my fave phillips head screwdrivers that went missing in the last room rearrangement, it must be in there somewhere but feck knows where!
We had pulled pork in a bourbon sticky sauce & chips for tea, a nice treat!
Final Thoughts.
I’m struggling to get stuff done again, no doubt I just need some patronising health professional to tell me to pull myself together!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
Another anecdote of autistic joy.
This one takes place after the first Addams Family movie came out. Two neurodivergent friends and I (one was autistic, one ADHD, with me audhd; funny how we tend to form these trios) would go to the same dollar theater several times a week to go watch this movie. The employees there came to recognize us. We'd fill the time before the movie singing the lyrics to the TV show's theme song (with appropriate finger snapping of course). I even started bringing printouts of the lyrics in case anyone else wanted to join in. No one ever did though. In fact, there was seldom more than a few people in the theater with us. Maybe for the best? 
And since the three of us were also playing the Vampire ttrpg at the time, our GM decided--after us having watched the movie one afternoon--to play a game right afterwards where our characters were invited to an Addams party. What a blast that was!
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic personally been waiting for over 30 years and still nothing...
One thing that bothers me a lot, is when people misrepresent my position in a conversation.
What makes it worse, is when people do it to end the conversation and expect me to just let it stand.
Not only is the conversation not "finished", it ends on, at least from my view, a lie about me.
To me this feels as hostile as spreading rumors in front of my face and then acting like I'm impolite for dispeling them, when staying silent can seem like a concession.
1/
I want to see a new cooking show: "Autistic Iron Chef", where 3 neurodivergent cooks compete to have the best mis en place for the weekly meal, as judged by organization, cleanliness of area when time is called between prep and cook phases, and efficiency of the cooking process. The final result must be correct, but the points are not on taste and presentation but on process.
Who can make this happen?
Ever since I read Wild of Brain, I've been thinking about the concept of "situational mutism". Anissa's preferred term for what's often called "selective mutism", and definitely mine now I'm aware of it.
(1/?)
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 864 , Tuesday 10/03/2026
Tuesday started around 07:15 after frankly a rubbish night. After yesterday’s exertions my back especially was giving me no end of grief & my internal thermometer also seemed to be on the blink!
This resulted in me spending most of the night tossing & turning.
Today was all about getting my Mac Mini back up & running. After much deliberation I have settled on a layout that works & now I have to sort out all the paperwork that got dumped in a box when I moved the desk yesterday!
I also need to decide if I am going to use the Yamaha Amp or the Pioneer mini system that came back from my late MiLs. First world problems indeed!
I’ve also decided to swap back to using my Magic Keyboard with my Mac mini, the full size keyboard wasn't doing it for me. Now the hunt is on for a keyboard case for the iPad.
That was pretty much my day.
Final Thoughts.
My back is still giving me grief & I’m knackered so a fairly early night.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic this kind of weeding is essential and on-going
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 865 , Wednesday 11/03/2026
Wednesday started at around 7am
A much better night last night thankfully!
A nice sunny day!
Breakfast & chores as usual to start the day.
Spent much of the day sorting out the stuff that got moved off my desk during the move.
I even threw some stuff away!
Ordered the lining paper & the wallpaper Mrs S picked along with some decorating bits & bobs.
Did a little more prep work in the box room, need to dig out my sander!
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day I really am solar powered!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic and now for something lighter…
During the course of my 6 decades revolving around the sun, there have been a lot of changes to the way autism is understood and recognised. But, as welcome as the advances that have been made are, even though there is still far to go, the way things were, go a long way to explain how I, and I suspect so may of us, were able to fly under the radar and not even consider the possibility that we were autistic for as long as we did.
For example, as a kid in the late sixties I turned up at school waving so many red flags for, this kid is autistic, it would be considered impossible for it not to be picked up on now. Chiefly, I couldn't make eye contact, I was speech delayed and had poor social skills, or apparently any desire to become social or make friends. But back then, everyone knew that autistics had to have even more extreme behavioural issues than just this and were, well back then they used a horrendous word beginning with R, so learning disabled. Which I clearly wasn't.
So call high functioning, or Asperger's, didn't really appear on the horizon until the early eighties, at least here in the UK, and even then it was often misread as a certain type of person only, the gifted, highly intelligent outsider and introvert. So, not a great help for a lot of us, and even less for me, given that I was already in university by then and masking like a good one.
Of course, it was even less helpful if you were female presenting. The myth that autism was only something that affected males and far too often that actually meant, white middle class males at least, still has its roots in far too many places. So that, even today, if you are a POC, or female presenting, or, god forbid, poor, it is far harder to get a correct diagnosis. Not when there are so many other diagnoses that they can throw at you. Despite the fact that they aren't accurate and don't help. And in fact, all too often, come with horribly negative consequences for being diagnosed with them.
That, I realise now, has been the common thread through all my years, that it has always been about how autism was considered to present, at least to the outsider. And all too often that meant how negatively we presented. What we couldn't do, how far we fell short of their standards, our deficits, at least to their minds, and rarely, if ever, our strengths. In fact these, if they were recognised at all, were all too often seen as mysterious savant like skills emerging from an otherwise empty or damaged facade. Think rain man. All the stereotypes that grew from the various attempts to define us and which still plague us today. In fact, these are often our biggest hurdles to realising that we could be autistic. All the, well I can't be autistic because, I can make eye contact, make friends, have a good job, marry and perhaps the most corrosive of all, are capable of empathy.
It is the stereotypes that mean that all too often we are used to seeing our autistic traits presented on TV and film, by the unfeeling robot, or android, the flawed, socially blind, genius. Or the hero who has to be shepherded through the social world by their allistic partner, whilst they solve the crimes, or save the day. The truth is that we are all different. Some of us struggle with something's, but not others. And how we struggle, or present those things can also differ. Above all, of course, they differ from how the world thinks we should be.
So, just because we are not reacting the way we're supposed to, doesn't mean that we aren't reacting. For many of us, for example, our empathy can come out as a need to problem-solve and not, immediately anyway, just providing emotional support. That we may need to hide from the news of the world, especially as it is at the moment, or carry on with our normal posts, as if nothing was changing. Isn't because we can't see or can't, or don't, care about it, but because we've had to learn to shield ourselves from so much, from our own, often, hyper-empathic and justice driven natures. From the pain and hurt of being judged and judging ourselves, from the expectations of what we should be and how we should behave. From all the stereotypes and definitions that have never defined us, but only ever hurt us.
For there are many reasons why we behave and react the way we do and they are all autistic, because we are, and that is the one thing that I really wish the world could come to learn and to define us by.
@autistics #ActuallyAutistic and be ready for blowback from all sides…
…speaking from experience
Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 876 , Sunday 22/03/2026
Sunday started a lot earlier than it should have, next door are noisy as buggery in the early morning!
I should have worn my ear plugs but my ears have been sore the last couple of days & it just wasn’t an option.
I made us breakfast & then did the chores, including mopping & hoovering the downstairs floors.
Then I, in another burst of ADHD madness have decided to move the raised shelf on my desk to make better use of the available real estate.
Moved my desk draws to give better access too. Upshot is that everything is disconnected again. But it should make life easier once it’s all sorted.
If it had been in the week I would have had chance to finish it but I only had a couple of hours while Mrs S was out & about so there is still so much to do.
We binge watched one of Mrs S’s chows this afternoon & then had some mushroom Tagliatelle thing that Mrs S bought.
Final Thoughts.
All in all a quiet & really quite disappointing day. Hey ho.
I need to find some spoons for tomorrow from somewhere as I will have to be in bubbly mode for Mrs S’s birthday. I still need to wrap her presents & write her card so I won’t be going to bed early tonight.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves