The tale of Stella, a young girl who falls in love with an ancient, beautifully-behaired bloodsucker named Edgar. They struggle to stay together in the midst of vampire carnage, but a love triangle bubbles up when a Michael Jackson-loving werewolf named Jack comes forward professing his own love for Stella. Meanwhile, a rival group of "real" vampires led by the evil Razor McBleed are prowling.

When a group of college pals retreats to an isolated cabin for a rowdy weekend of debauchery and carnal pleasures, a madman dons his creepy scarecrow costume and begins to prey upon the unsuspecting youths in unusually creative ways.

A half-human, half-zombie named Johnny pursues the malevolent corporation responsible for his creation. With the expert guidance of a seasoned martial arts master, he seeks justice and retribution.