Sam Loudermilk is a recovering alcoholic and substance-abuse counselor with a bad attitude. Although he has his drinking under control, Loudermilk discovers that when your life is a mess, getting clean is the easy part.

Left on the doorstep of an orphanage run by nuns, three newborn knuckleheads grow up to be finger-poking, nyuk-nyuking janitors named Larry, Curly and Moe. When they learn that financial problems will soon force the only home they've ever known to close, the trio sets out to raise $830,000 in one month. Out in the world for the very first time, the three innocent bumblers become embroiled in a murder plot and find stardom on a TV reality show.

After taking his dying father's advice, Hal dates only the embodiments of female physical perfection. But that all changes after Hal has an unexpected run-in with self-help guru Tony Robbins. Intrigued by Hal's shallowness, Robbins hypnotizes him into seeing the beauty that exists even in the least physically appealing women. Hal soon falls for Rosemary, but he doesn't realize that his gorgeous girlfriend is actually a 300-pound-not-so-hottie.

Likeable 6th grader Liam writes to Santa asking him to prove that he's real. But Liam is dyslexic and accidentally sends his letter to Satan instead, who shows up at Liam's house, excited to have his first fanboy letter and wanting a little of Liam's soul.

Rhode Island State Trooper Charlie Baileygates has a multiple personality disorder. One personality is crazy and aggressive, while the other is more friendly and laid back. Both of these personalities fall in love with the same woman named Irene after Charlie loses his medication.

Lloyd and Harry are two men whose stupidity is really indescribable. When Mary, a beautiful woman, loses an important suitcase with money before she leaves for Aspen, the two friends (who have found the suitcase) decide to return it to her. After some "adventures" they finally get to Aspen where, using the lost money they live it up and fight for Mary's heart.

For Ted, prom night went about as bad as it’s possible for any night to go. Thirteen years later, he finally gets another chance with his old prom date, only to run up against other suitors including the sleazy detective he hired to find her.

Chickie wants to support his friends fighting in Vietnam, so he does something wild—personally bring them American beer. What starts as a well-meaning journey quickly changes Chickie's life and perspective.

When three childhood best friends pull a prank gone wrong, they invent the imaginary Ricky Stanicky to get them out of trouble. Twenty years later, the trio still uses the nonexistent Ricky as a handy alibi for their immature behavior. But when their spouses and partners get suspicious and demand to finally meet the fabled Mr. Stanicky, the guilty trio decide to hire a washed-up actor and raunchy celebrity impersonator to bring him to life.

Tony Lip, a bouncer in 1962, is hired to drive pianist Don Shirley on a tour through the Deep South in the days when African Americans, forced to find alternate accommodations and services due to segregation laws below the Mason-Dixon Line, relied on a guide called The Negro Motorist Green Book.