At age 19, a young woman is jilted at the altar. This leads to a declaration that she will swear off men forever. Now 10 years later, she suddenly decides she would like to have a child. She advertises in the newspaper for potential mates, whether by traditional methods or by sperm donors, but gets nothing but losers. However, two neighborhood men vie for her attention - her gynecologist and a professional clown.

When her sister suddenly vanishes, a young girl sets out to find her, desperately searching the internet for clues. Joining her is an ex-CIA agent, who uncovers fragments of online chats the missing girl had with a softcore pornographer.

Combining real and fictional events, this movie centers around the historic 1986 World Series, and a day in the life of a playwright who skips opening night to watch the momentous game.