A jaded homicide detective has been put on the case of a ruthless killer in the city of Chicago, who leaves a trail of horribly mutilated and dismembered corpses along with perversely ironic biblical quotes.

Like lots of young ladies their age, Marci (Vanessa Lengies) and Summer (Caroline Elliott) have boys on their feverish brains. But the closer the girls get to their school's Spring Fling dance, the further they seem from finding dates. A desperate search for dance partners doesn't turn up any leads until the duo finds a magic ring. Aided by their newfound powers, they transform two pet rats into teen dreamboats -- with nightmarish results.

Bumbling bank janitor Ernest P. Worrell is assigned to jury duty, and soon finds himself in trouble when he is covertly switched with a look-a-like crime boss. Ernest must escape from jail to expose the mix-up.

A former bomb squad leader comes out of retirement to investigate a series of bombings plaguing Seattle.