Pat Riley, an obnoxious busybody of indeterminable sex, meets and falls in love with Chris, a sensitive, caring person also of indeterminable sex. Their relationship suffers because Pat's a lout, and cannot decide on a direction for their life. Meanwhile, Pat's neighbor Kyle falls further and further into obsession with Pat, fascinated by their indeterminate sexuality.

The setting is Carpathia. The year is 1851. When Elvira gets kicked out of an Inn for a slight monetary discrepancy, she is rescued by a local who takes her to stay at the castle in the hills high above the village. The fact that she happens to resemble the count's former "missing" wife opens a can of worms or two.