Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie Soke teams up with his angry little sidekick, Marcus, to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve. Along for the ride is chubby and cheery Thurman Merman, a 250-pound ray of sunshine who brings out Willie's sliver of humanity. Issues arise when the pair are joined by Willie's horror story of a mother, who raises the bar for the gang's ambitions, while somehow lowering the standards of criminal behavior.

A high school valedictorian who gets baked with the local stoner finds himself the subject of a drug test. The situation causes him to concoct an ambitious plan to get his entire graduating class to face the same fate, and fail.

A decade has passed in the small town where the original Sandlot gang banded together during the summer of ’62 to play baseball and battle the Beast. Now, back at the dugout, nine new kids descend on the diamond only to discover that a descendant of the Beast lives in Mr. Mertle’s backyard – a monster of mythical proportions known as 'The Great Fear'.

You'd better watch out - Santa Claus Willie T. Soke is coming to town, and he doesn't care if you've been naughty or nice. Wille's favorite holiday tradition is to fill his sacks with loot lifted from shopping malls across the country. But this year his plot gets derailed by a wisecracking store detective, a sexy bartender, and a kid who's convinced Willie is the real Santa Claus.