A gang of hapless crooks, led by Sidney James, successfully perpetrate a robbery only to be caught after the fact. Fifteen years later they emerge from prison intent on retrieving their stolen loot - and discover a police station has been built over its hiding place.

Two bank robbers, Dennis and Hal, are on the run from the police after a successful heist. Needing somewhere to hide the loot, they turn to a funeral parlour where they stash the cash in Hal's recently-deceased mother's coffin. Taking the coffin, they turn to Hal's father and hide it in the bathroom of his hotel. Before long the hotel is host to the eccentric Inspector Truscott.

The daughter of a wealthy businessman has been kidnapped, and the chief of police, under a lot of pressure to find her as soon as possible, assigns Officers Kopek and Broom to track her down and bring her back safe and sound.

Supposedly filmed in 'Schizophrenoscope', it concerns Inspector Quilt of Scotland Yard's attempts to retrieve a 'Mukkinese Battlehorn' stolen from a London museum. Along the way he meets characters not dissimilar to Eccles, Henry Crun and Minnie Bannister from The Goon Show. This attempt to adapt Goon humour to the big screen was written by Harry Booth, Jon Penington and regular Goon show co-writer Larry Stephens. It was then heavily rewritten on the filmset by Sellers and Milligan.