The Big Big Deal

Why did I waste so much time feeling doomed? One afternoon I woke up on the floor and thought I might already have died. Suddenly, a beautiful and unnameable feeling possessed me to paint a flower. Then a tree. Then an apple. Then a butterfly. As I taped each painting to a wall in my apartment, I remembered writing my first crush's name over and over in my notebook. I’d write it as big as it would fit on the page, or small -- as many times as I could. She was the fastest girl runner and I was the fastest boy runner. Her favorite color was blue and mine was red. With her as a reference, I knew exactly who I was.

I didn’t stop until every wall was completely covered. The final painting I placed was of two hands reaching up to the sky. I think I know what to do now. No more tears.

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